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Old 07-30-2019, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Colorado
12,033 posts, read 7,407,885 times
Reputation: 21659

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Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x View Post
Well I could not be together with someone who supports Voluntary Human Extinction or otherwise thinks all humans should stop having children. We have a moral obligation to continue to exist as a species, so we can continue our role as the steward of life and intelligent life on Earth. We have to spread it across the solar system and neighboring solar systems, so a disaster in any one place will not destroy all life and all intelligent life known to exist in the universe.

VHE is an evil philosophy and an offensive one. I could never be with someone who thinks humanity should disappear. We have created much beauty and added much meaning to the universe. It should continue. Life is rare and precious, especially intelligent life. We need to cherish it and protect it and propagate it.

Now I have never had children, but I wanted them. I just never found anyone who liked me back. I could only be in relationships with people who have wanted children at some point in their lives. So ChildFree is a major red flag to me. Childless by circumstance, sure. That's what I am. But not ChildFree, especially not ChildFree by Choice.
I wish I could throw random objects at this post in mindless rage. It is such a perfect illustration of a THING that makes me want to just...shake someone every time I see it.

Just because one person makes a choice, for their own happiness, in their own lives, does not ever EVER EVER EVER mean that they are saying they think it is the choice that all other human beings should make. Their choice doesn't carry that weight or have that power.

If I start wearing all black clothing, do you think that the makers of floral prints are doomed to go out of business? Do you honestly believe that one person's life choices spread like a cancer until all humans inevitably march in lockstep?

Should all the gays be destroyed lest everyone decide to become just like them, because if we accept a person being gay, then WE'RE ALL GONNA CATCH TEH GAY OMG

Should all the brown folks be eradicated as a threat to the white ones? Or, vice versa perhaps?

Must everyone be hammered over the head until they accept the same religion because a disagreement of what God to worship is a threat to the ultimate truth that every religion preaches to its followers? A mandatory global State Religion?

These kinds of ideologies, the condemnation of someone who makes a choice FOR THEMSELVES AND NO ONE ELSE as being part of some...some...universal manifesto, like one woman choosing not to be a parent despite being perfectly able to, means that the whole damn species is at risk, because *mocking voice* "Well if she can do it, then everybody's gonna do it" Just...just... *splutters* I can't.

It's anti freedom. It's an utter denial of human diversity. It's regarding people like a hive mind, like a herd of cattle. It's highly illogical, Captain.

 
Old 07-30-2019, 09:12 AM
 
792 posts, read 171,998 times
Reputation: 1626
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Do you think this is a common reason for dating couples to call it quits...if one person wants kids & the other doesn't? Do you think most people discuss it before it would be time to plan one?
I would expect to get the other person's feelings before I got too involved. Not having kids would be a show stopper.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 09:14 AM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
I would expect to get the other person's feelings before I got too involved. Not having kids would be a show stopper.
For the people that it is a show stopper for.....yes, ita.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 10:06 AM
 
12,609 posts, read 10,009,366 times
Reputation: 16290
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Do you think this is a common reason for dating couples to call it quits...if one person wants kids & the other doesn't? Do you think most people discuss it before it would be time to plan one?
OF COURSE you break up with someone who does not have the same life goals as you, especially in such an important area. And OF COURSE, people discuss it before they get permanently committed unless they have Issues.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 10:17 AM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
OF COURSE you break up with someone who does not have the same life goals as you, especially in such an important area. And OF COURSE, people discuss it before they get permanently committed unless they have Issues.
Yes....not everyone has the same life goals.....& that's why we discussed it seriously *before* we plan on moving in together.....
 
Old 07-30-2019, 04:11 PM
 
8,028 posts, read 5,103,583 times
Reputation: 13743
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
I'm just a "go with my heart" kinda girl.....& I love my Bf. I never thought I'd be deciding baby or not at 31....thought I had a few more yrs....but that's how life rolls when falling in love with an older man.
Well, that's the essence of the matter, isn't it? You are enthused about the possibility of motherhood, but are also hesitant. It's a feeling, a sensation - rather than a lifelong conviction. And thus, it brooks compromise. At 31, you have the luxury of time for self-exploration. It is not yet imperative to make a final break. You even have time to investigate as to whether changing your opinion would be a surrender, a swaying under pressure, or an actual reassessment and personal decision.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
I wish I could throw random objects at this post in mindless rage. ...
The gentleman in question probably remembers my posts on the subject from several years back... circa 2013-2014. If memory serves, the discussion then, was about the philosophical question of reproduction itself, rather than the personal question of how one particular person ought to decide for him or herself. The gist was, "what happens indeed, if EVERYONE does as I propose to do"? Would we have a harrowing tragedy? Or would it be, in some abstract sense, preferable? The complementary question as whether we ourselves (as individuals) celebrate the fact that we were born, or whether we regret it, or as a third option, if it's simply a bare and unadulterated fact that we merely accept out of necessity.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 04:22 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant View Post
Well, that's the essence of the matter, isn't it? You are enthused about the possibility of motherhood, but are also hesitant. It's a feeling, a sensation - rather than a lifelong conviction. And thus, it brooks compromise. At 31, you have the luxury of time for self-exploration. It is not yet imperative to make a final break. You even have time to investigate as to whether changing your opinion would be a surrender, a swaying under pressure, or an actual reassessment and personal decision.

no....the "essence of the matter" is that I'm in love with my Bf & he is in love with me...& he doesn't see kids in his life anymore because he is older.....

I dunno if you can even really call it a *compromise* ..tbh.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 11:24 AM
 
1,893 posts, read 548,435 times
Reputation: 2355
Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x View Post
Well I could not be together with someone who supports Voluntary Human Extinction or otherwise thinks all humans should stop having children. We have a moral obligation to continue to exist as a species, so we can continue our role as the steward of life and intelligent life on Earth. We have to spread it across the solar system and neighboring solar systems, so a disaster in any one place will not destroy all life and all intelligent life known to exist in the universe.

VHE is an evil philosophy and an offensive one. I could never be with someone who thinks humanity should disappear. We have created much beauty and added much meaning to the universe. It should continue. Life is rare and precious, especially intelligent life. We need to cherish it and protect it and propagate it.

Now I have never had children, but I wanted them. I just never found anyone who liked me back. I could only be in relationships with people who have wanted children at some point in their lives. So ChildFree is a major red flag to me. Childless by circumstance, sure. That's what I am. But not ChildFree, especially not ChildFree by Choice.
This was hilarious.

But I see why youve never found someone that liked you.

You connect people that choose to be childfree with errant thoughts that they think humans should stop existing. That is a big irrational leap. Just so you know. Its a good thing you arent raising children, ironically. People like you are scary.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 11:22 PM
 
7,649 posts, read 3,009,598 times
Reputation: 12613
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
no....the "essence of the matter" is that I'm in love with my Bf & he is in love with me...& he doesn't see kids in his life anymore because he is older.....

I dunno if you can even really call it a *compromise* ..tbh.
It’s a compromise, because you mentioned having kids before he told you his final decision. There were posts where you gave the impression you would have a choice. After this laying down of the law by him, you are changing your stance to: “that’s fine, I loooooove him.” Well...the bloom wears off the rose, if something happens to him, do you want to be 50 and wish you would have explored and acted on what you really wanted?
 
Old 08-01-2019, 11:34 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Itís a compromise, because you mentioned having kids before he told you his final decision. There were posts where you gave the impression you would have a choice. After this laying down if the law by him, you are changing your stance to: ďthatís fine, I loooooove him.Ē Well...the bloom wears off the rose, if something happens to him, do you want to be 50 and wish you would have explored and acted on what [i]you really wanted?[/i/]
It's not what I really wanted....I never for sure wanted kids...or never didn't want them either.........A N D, if I did decide to & that's a really big if...it wouldn't be for 3 to 5 yrs anyways......because I would not be ready to have them now in any way....too much I wanna do. So I really don't see it as much of a compromise........because I am not giving up any kind of life long dream to be a mom...

He didn't lay down a law....we talked about it very openly & lovingly....like couples do.........& shared how we both felt......
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