U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 07-08-2019, 08:16 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Tasha, sounds like you want the option of having kids someday and he definitely doesn't want them, ever. There is no way to work around this at all.

I'm not advising you one way or another, but if you stay with him you're choosing no kids of your own. That's it
I just did not think I would need to make a final choice about it now....

He wanted kids when he was younger.....& he went through the pain of a child dying several yrs ago. That may or may not be a part of his decision too... but I think it has more to do with his age.

 
Old 07-08-2019, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,652 posts, read 42,257,113 times
Reputation: 84111
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Tasha, sounds like you want the option of having kids someday and he definitely doesn't want them, ever. There is no way to work around this at all.

I'm not advising you one way or another, but if you stay with him you're choosing no kids of your own. That's it
Right, thatís the main thing.

Heís forcing her hand, essentially, because if she chooses to stay with him, even for another week, itís like the choice has been made for her.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 08:32 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Right, thatís the main thing.

Heís forcing her hand, essentially, because if she chooses to stay with him, even for another week, itís like the choice has been made for her.
He is not forcing my hand.....so silly. This is me...thinking it through. No ultimatums or anything.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,652 posts, read 42,257,113 times
Reputation: 84111
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
He is not forcing my hand.....so silly. This is me...thinking it through. No ultimatums or anything.
Your denial game is strong.

Saying, “I’m not having children...” is pretty much laying down all his cards.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 08:43 PM
 
5,328 posts, read 2,837,167 times
Reputation: 9771
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Do you think this is a common reason for dating couples to call it quits...if one person wants kids & the other doesn't? Do you think most people discuss it before it would be time to plan one?
I married my wife because sheís the most important thing to me. We have two kids which Iím grateful for but if she wanted no kids I would have been happy with her as well.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 08:45 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Your denial game is strong.

Saying, ďIím not having children...Ē is pretty much laying down all his cards.
Denial over....what? I know how he feels, I just have to figure out how *I* feel........
 
Old 07-08-2019, 08:47 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
I married my wife because sheís the most important thing to me. We have two kids which Iím grateful for but if she wanted no kids I would have been happy with her as well.
It's just for me to decide....if I want kids or not....or which is more important, a baby or my relationship with him.... & it seems like a relationship with him keeps winning ..
 
Old 07-08-2019, 10:12 PM
 
10,595 posts, read 4,248,297 times
Reputation: 26764
I didn't read this thread, just read the title.

You shouldn't get beyond the third date with a possible partner who has a different opinion about whether you want to have kids.

That's a litmus test. You want to have kids, or you don't.

And the relationship shouldn't progress beyond the 2nd date if you aren't in agreement about that.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 10:15 PM
 
998 posts, read 281,532 times
Reputation: 2808
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
It's just for me to decide....if I want kids or not....or which is more important, a baby or my relationship with him.... & it seems like a relationship with him keeps winning ..
But is it winning because he's what you want, or because being with him is the status quo, and the easier way, and the "bird in the hand," so to speak?

Only you can make the choice, and if you're on the fence, maybe you could go either way and be equally happy. But again, really expose yourself to the consequences of your choices either way because you'd hate to choose having kids and then find out it's not really for you, and you'd hate to choose him and find out you're miserable without kids.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 10:26 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I didn't read this thread, just read the title.

You shouldn't get beyond the third date with a possible partner who has a different opinion about whether you want to have kids.

That's a litmus test. You want to have kids, or you don't.

And the relationship shouldn't progress beyond the 2nd date if you aren't in agreement about that.
I'm in a relationship with him now because I love him...not because I was looking for a baby daddy!

I am undecided about having a baby E V E R....& that is why it is confusing to think of closing the door on it....
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top