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Old 07-08-2019, 03:46 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
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Do you think this is a common reason for dating couples to call it quits...if one person wants kids & the other doesn't? Do you think most people discuss it before it would be time to plan one?

 
Old 07-08-2019, 03:53 PM
 
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If one wants children and the other doesn't, and if they are both adamant about this, there's nothing to discuss. You can't compromise that.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 03:55 PM
 
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I would and I did with no regrets about doing so.

When I was a young woman, I wouldn't even become overly emotionally involved with a man who did not wish to have children at some point in the future. Have fun knowing that the relationship had an "expiration date?" Of course and I did, but men who didn't want to choose to have a family in the future were not marriage material to me.

It was always one of my non-negotiable deal-breakers as there's no meeting halfway on the topic.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 03:56 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
If one wants children and the other doesn't, and if they are both adamant about this, there's nothing to discuss. You can't compromise that.
That's part of the question...would you be adamant about it or make it a reason to call it quits or "give in to the other person"?
 
Old 07-08-2019, 03:59 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty View Post
I would and I did with no regrets about doing so.

When I was a young woman, I wouldn't even become overly emotionally involved with a man who did not wish to have children at some point in the future. Have fun knowing that the relationship had an "expiration date?" Of course and I did, but men who didn't want to choose to have a family in the future were not marriage material to me.

It was always one of my non-negotiable deal-breakers as there's no meeting halfway on the topic.
For you...but that is the question I am putting out there. Some may decide they love their Bf or Gf more than the thought of a child one day.....& others would be adamant about having a child & risk finding someone else to partner or marry.

It is good for you that you have no regrets, tho it can be a big risk....
 
Old 07-08-2019, 04:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
That's part of the question...would you be adamant about it or make it a reason to call it quits or "give in to the other person"?
The "adamant" part varies from person to person. If you mean ME, no I wouldn't have compromised on that when I was dating (unless there was a physical reason that she just couldn't, or I couldn't for that matter). But if it was simply, the other person just doesn't want children, for me..no.

There is no cut and dry way to answer this question, unless they are both adamant and uncompatible.

Last edited by PardonTheInterruption; 07-08-2019 at 04:35 PM..
 
Old 07-08-2019, 04:11 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post

There is no cut and dry answer to this question, unless they are both adamant and uncompatible.
I know....which is what it makes it so hard to sort.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 04:11 PM
 
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Many of us, man and women, decided in the absence of a couple where we stood regarding becoming parents.

I foolishly thought that men didn't care and the decision was up to me. Imagine my disappointment when I lost one great guy because he totally wanted bio children and I told him that I thought having children ruined women's lives.

I never wanted children, since my own childhood. It never changed and I've never regretted it for a moment.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 04:16 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
Many of us, man and women, decided in the absence of a couple where we stood regarding becoming parents.

I foolishly thought that men didn't care and the decision was up to me. Imagine my disappointment when I lost one great guy because he totally wanted bio children and I told him that I thought having children ruined women's lives.

I never wanted children, since my own childhood. It never changed and I've never regretted it for a moment.
I haven't wanted kids all my life or anything & I don't feel it is some sort of biological destiny....but that's why it makes it so hard because part of me did think I probably would be a mom some day. I was a stepmom for a couple of years. That has encouraged...& discouraged....me in ways so it comes back to being confused on the subject.

My Bf is older & that is part of the reason he does not necessarily see kids in his life anymore...but I am young enough that to have kids in 3 to 5 years would be Ok.
 
Old 07-08-2019, 04:19 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
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It would have been a non-starter, to begin with. I didn't invest time or energy in interests or "suitors" who presented with fundamental incompatibilities.
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