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Old 07-12-2019, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Ro cha cha, NY
3,077 posts, read 4,214,431 times
Reputation: 5401

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
Obviously you have not paid attention at all to conversations between me and a couple of our male posters like Submariner I believe, because I have PLENTY of sympathy for men who are in relationships where their sexual needs are not being met.

I practically always recommend a book that I've found to be extremely helpful on the subject of female desire and how to encourage it in a relationship.
You and Ruth are both sympathetic and compassionate people. No doubting that. You are both really cool people. But let's face it, there isn't a whole lot of sympathy for the reverse situation.
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Old 07-12-2019, 07:38 PM
 
845 posts, read 1,105,527 times
Reputation: 682
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
I feel like it's a loose attempt at telling the op that she doesn't do it for her man.

If the guys not in the mood, it is not always an indictment on the women.
except that's pretty much the opposite of your first post, when you assumed it must be bc of her weight or age (of course before you knew they were 24).

Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
I'll be as real as can be. For me, when I'm in a relationship with someone that I can't get enough of, I want it all the time. If I am lukewarm about the person, then I don't need it as much and can go without. It's honestly not a good sign if you are always initiating. He might have a low libido, who knows. But there are definitely some women that are so good in bed that as a man, you crave them. Others, some times I might pass. It is what it is. It would be weird if we felt the same way about every single person.
[Mod cut: off topic.]
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
But let's face it, there isn't a whole lot of sympathy for the reverse situation.
maybe this is why:

Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
Also, don't be so available. Women who will make a guy wait once in a while, just makes the guy want them more. If you are always available, he could take you for granted. It sounds like he might be taking you for granted.
?

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Old 07-13-2019, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,493 posts, read 8,173,028 times
Reputation: 5172
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
He works in a warehouse as a picker
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
Hes 24 and its a mixture of both if that makes any sense. like compared to me its low but refusing it altogether ? recent development
My 45 y.o. fiance' is in the warehousing industry too & would have sex every other day IF that's what I wanted. He's definitely the initiator. My fiance' also has a thyroid condition & takes a certain medication daily.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luckyram View Post
24??!!!

When I was 24 I'd do it every chance I could get....even warm apple pie started to look like a possible option if I had to go a short amount of time without sex.
That's what I'm thinking...24?! 24-year-old men should want sex quite a bit & most people work the standard 40-hr a week job.

I'd be thinking one of ONLY 2 things & I hope you've thought of this by now too:

1) He's cheating on you & having sex w/ someone else, so he's too tired by the time the two of you spend time w/ each other.

2) He has some kind of physical condition in which causes him to have low energy or a low libido or something.



Other than that, I mean I guess he's just not the sexual type of person, but I'd think that MUCH quicker if it was a 24 y.o. lady, NOT man.
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Old 07-13-2019, 01:21 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,936 posts, read 70,771,627 times
Reputation: 76918
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
My 45 y.o. fiance' is in the warehousing industry too & would have sex every other day IF that's what I wanted. He's definitely the initiator. My fiance' also has a thyroid condition & takes a certain medication daily.



That's what I'm thinking...24?! 24-year-old men should want sex quite a bit & most people work the standard 40-hr a week job.

I'd be thinking one of ONLY 2 things & I hope you've thought of this by now too:

1) He's cheating on you & having sex w/ someone else, so he's too tired by the time the two of you spend time w/ each other.

2) He has some kind of physical condition in which causes him to have low energy or a low libido or something.



Other than that, I mean I guess he's just not the sexual type of person, but I'd think that MUCH quicker if it was a 24 y.o. lady, NOT man.
Well, the curious thing is, that the OP said last week, that he suddenly bounced back, no explanation. So, we're in need of an update. Is the issue over? Has no explanation other than a previously-offered flimsy excuse been forthcoming?

We could shrug and say, "oh well; problem solved", but there are some loose ends left hanging.
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Old 07-13-2019, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,493 posts, read 8,173,028 times
Reputation: 5172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Well, the curious thing is, that the OP said last week, that he suddenly bounced back, no explanation. So, we're in need of an update. Is the issue over? Has no explanation other than a previously-offered flimsy excuse been forthcoming?

We could shrug and say, "oh well; problem solved", but there are some loose ends left hanging.
Hmm, suddenly bounced back. The other woman he's been sleeping w/ was out of town then, so he needed his fix from OP at that time.
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Old 07-13-2019, 01:32 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,936 posts, read 70,771,627 times
Reputation: 76918
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
Hmm, suddenly bounced back. The other woman he's been sleeping w/ was out of town then, so he needed his fix from OP at that time.
I'm leaning toward a variation of this theory. Had some kind of affair or flirtation with someone at work, it fizzled, so he's back. OP didn't answer questions, about whether his schedule changed at all, during the month he wasn't up to snuff. Did he come home later than usual? We're in the dark.
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Old 07-13-2019, 02:13 PM
 
12,758 posts, read 14,110,686 times
Reputation: 34963
Two young people in a year-old relationship that is this low in the libido area. Love is forever as long as it lasts, and from the sound of the OPs postings forever has become dead meat, so to speak.

Break up, and start dating and getting laid.

And let the BF deal with his job and energy problems as he sees fit....but without the OP.
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Old 07-14-2019, 11:19 AM
Lou
 
273 posts, read 111,476 times
Reputation: 413
When Amazon hit the news for its treatment of its warehouse pickers, the reports spoke of the pickers falling asleep on their feet. Even if the items being picked aren't heavy, the pace and monotony could certainly be draining.

If he has other aspirations, being a warehouse picker could be hurting his self-esteem and even causing him to have bouts of depression. He could be dealing with demeaning supervisors who are eroding his self-esteem even more. Sometimes people get so stuck in their job rut that it doesn't immediately occur to them that they should look for another job. He might need encouragement or support. Even if he goes from warehouse picker to something like a deli worker at a grocery store, the daily experience might be more pleasant.

What is his education level? Is he interested in more education, or getting into a trade? Does he see a way to get on that path?
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Old 07-14-2019, 12:10 PM
 
Location: USA
2,679 posts, read 2,047,618 times
Reputation: 4389
I dated a guy like that. He was in his 40’s. His excuse “waiting until marriage “. To me, he wasn’t marriage material. I do think he was secretly gay or has some issues he didn’t want to deal with
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Old 07-14-2019, 12:19 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,936 posts, read 70,771,627 times
Reputation: 76918
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lou View Post
When Amazon hit the news for its treatment of its warehouse pickers, the reports spoke of the pickers falling asleep on their feet. Even if the items being picked aren't heavy, the pace and monotony could certainly be draining.

If he has other aspirations, being a warehouse picker could be hurting his self-esteem and even causing him to have bouts of depression. He could be dealing with demeaning supervisors who are eroding his self-esteem even more. Sometimes people get so stuck in their job rut that it doesn't immediately occur to them that they should look for another job. He might need encouragement or support. Even if he goes from warehouse picker to something like a deli worker at a grocery store, the daily experience might be more pleasant.

What is his education level? Is he interested in more education, or getting into a trade? Does he see a way to get on that path?
All of that could well be true, but it doesn't explain why his interest in sex suddenly dropped off after nearly a year of a normal activity level. It doesn't explain the sudden, radical change, nor the recent sudden (apparent) resolution and return to normal.
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