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Old 07-09-2019, 05:39 PM
 
665 posts, read 201,872 times
Reputation: 1813

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
Hiii you guys heres the situation. me & my boyfriend have been together for a year and within the year when it comes to sex or any sexual type activities I am the initiater. we dont usually have sex often because of work so its like once MAYBE (I cant stress this enough) twice every other weekend. But for the past month everytime I suggest sex hes to stressed, tired from work or just doesnt feel like it. Weve talked about why he feels the way he feels and I understand.. I also understand I cant force him into it or nag him about it because it would make matters worse. My question is how can I deal with being rejected moving forward in the relationship? It kind of bruised my ego and I dont want to have resentment when he does decide hes in the mood any helpful suggestions?
How old is your boyfriend? Has his interest in sex always been so low or is this a recent development?
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:47 PM
 
845 posts, read 1,102,736 times
Reputation: 676
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I don't see how any of this is relevant to the OP's problem.
someone replied talking about looks and age, making it seem like that's what the problem was, and saying 30+ doesn't look as good as 20's. so I responded to say that age doesn't mean that one's automatically less attractive than someone younger. plus we don't even know how old they are, and it's only been 1 year, so I doubt looks are the problem, especially since I see a lot of not in good shape people with bf's, and I'm sure there are plenty of hot girls that have the same problem.

[Mod cut: orphaned]

Last edited by elnina; 07-09-2019 at 06:53 PM..
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,349 posts, read 41,900,880 times
Reputation: 83281
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post

... when it comes to sex or any sexual type activities I am the initiater.
Do you think he's interested in someone else?
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:55 PM
 
9 posts, read 4,094 times
Reputation: 20
Hes 24 and its a mixture of both if that makes any sense. like compared to me its low but refusing it altogether ? recent development
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,349 posts, read 41,900,880 times
Reputation: 83281
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
Hes 24 and its a mixture of both if that makes any sense. like compared to me its low but refusing it altogether ? recent development
So do you think he's talking to someone else?
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:01 PM
 
9 posts, read 4,094 times
Reputation: 20
Yesss.. the thought has crossed my mind but itd just be speculations ya know?
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:01 PM
 
845 posts, read 1,102,736 times
Reputation: 676
[Mod cut: orphaned]

she never even said how old they are, and it's only been a year so I doubt that's enough time to get all gross or anything. seems as irrelevant as all the deleted posts, and this is what started the tangent, so if you are going to censor people at least be fair and not a hypocrite.

oh wait, she just said they're 24. so yeah, making that even more irrelevant.

Last edited by elnina; 07-09-2019 at 06:54 PM..
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,349 posts, read 41,900,880 times
Reputation: 83281
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
Yesss.. the thought has crossed my mind but it’d just be speculations ya know?
Sure, you trust him, which is good.

I'll just say it's unusual for a guy that age to be so disinterested in sex. I know it's difficult for you.

It's not unheard of for someone to have a low libido, but you say this is a change from what he used to be like, and that is concerning. What exactly does he say are his reasons? What is he thinking and feeling about this?

Does he really just say he is tired? A 40-hour job as a warehouse picker is tiring but it's not lethally tiring.
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:20 PM
 
665 posts, read 201,872 times
Reputation: 1813
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
He’s 24 and its a mixture of both if that makes any sense. like compared to me its low but refusing it altogether ? recent development
If it's a recent development, I wonder if it's related to depression or any medications that he might be taking. Is he still affectionate in non-sexual ways with you such as giving and receiving cuddles, snuggles, massages, hugs, and kisses?

Vastly different sexual drives are challenging enough without consistent rejection. If you don't address this as a couple as some point and find an acceptable "middle ground" on this issue, things will not get better. If you're of a similar age to your boyfriend, are you okay with the idea of a long-term relationship that is virtually sexless?

Have things recently changed in his life such as new family stressors or post-college underemployment?
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:44 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,022 posts, read 55,817,679 times
Reputation: 89799
"That person" deleting your posts is the MOD.
All deleted posts were off topic or bickering. None helped OP.
Stay on topic if you want to help, please.
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