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Old 07-09-2019, 04:52 PM
 
9 posts, read 4,094 times
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Hiii you guys heres the situation. me & my boyfriend have been together for a year and within the year when it comes to sex or any sexual type activities I am the initiater. we dont usually have sex often because of work so its like once MAYBE (I cant stress this enough) twice every other weekend. But for the past month everytime I suggest sex he’s to stressed, tired from work or just doesnt feel like it. We’ve talked about why he feels the way he feels and I understand.. I also understand I cant force him into it or nag him about it because it would make matters worse. My question is how can I deal with being rejected moving forward in the relationship? It kind of bruised my ego and I dont want to have resentment when he does decide he’s “in the mood” any helpful suggestions?
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Old 07-09-2019, 04:56 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,811 posts, read 70,635,877 times
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What's the deal with work? How many hours/week is he working?
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,358 posts, read 41,900,880 times
Reputation: 83294
Sorry you feel rejected, but you left out the most important part:

Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
Hiii you guys heres the situation. me & my boyfriend have been together for a year and within the year when it comes to sex or any sexual type activities I am the initiater. we dont usually have sex often because of work so its like once MAYBE (I cant stress this enough) twice every other weekend. But for the past month everytime I suggest sex he’s to stressed, tired from work or just doesnt feel like it. We’ve talked about why he feels the way he feels and I understand.. I also understand I cant force him into it or nag him about it because it would make matters worse. My question is how can I deal with being rejected moving forward in the relationship? It kind of bruised my ego and I dont want to have resentment when he does decide he’s “in the mood” any helpful suggestions?
What exactly is he feeling??

How old are you two?
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Ro cha cha, NY
3,069 posts, read 4,207,939 times
Reputation: 5394
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
Hiii you guys heres the situation. me & my boyfriend have been together for a year and within the year when it comes to sex or any sexual type activities I am the initiater. we dont usually have sex often because of work so its like once MAYBE (I cant stress this enough) twice every other weekend. But for the past month everytime I suggest sex he’s to stressed, tired from work or just doesnt feel like it. I’ve been realized I cant force him into it or nag him about it because it would make matters worse. My question is how can I deal with being rejected moving forward in the relationship? It kind of bruised my ego and I dont want to have resentment when he does decide he’s “in the mood” any helpful suggestions?


I'll be as real as can be. For me, when I'm in a relationship with someone that I can't get enough of, I want it all the time. If I am lukewarm about the person, then I don't need it as much and can go without. It's honestly not a good sign if you are always initiating. He might have a low libido, who knows. But there are definitely some women that are so good in bed that as a man, you crave them. Others, some times I might pass. It is what it is. It would be weird if we felt the same way about every single person.
[Mod cut: off topic.]

Last edited by elnina; 07-09-2019 at 06:51 PM..
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:02 PM
 
9 posts, read 4,094 times
Reputation: 20
40 hrs a week
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Ro cha cha, NY
3,069 posts, read 4,207,939 times
Reputation: 5394
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
40 hrs a week


Also, don't be so available. Women who will make a guy wait once in a while, just makes the guy want them more. If you are always available, he could take you for granted. It sounds like he might be taking you for granted.
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:06 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,811 posts, read 70,635,877 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
40 hrs a week
So, why is he so tired? What kind of work does he do; road construction, or other heavy labor? Stocking shelves? Why the fatigue? Night shift?
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:09 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,811 posts, read 70,635,877 times
Reputation: 76779
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
Also, don't be so available. Women who will make a guy wait once in a while, just makes the guy want them more. If you are always available, he could take you for granted. It sounds like he might be taking you for granted.
Interesting thought. I wonder what would happen, if the OP started going out on her own, in their spare time. Nothing major; just a Saturday out and about, enjoying whatever she enjoys around town: bookstores, window-shopping, an outdoor concert, whatever. Maybe the OP could join a hobby group of some kind, or find something to do at the gym, start attending evening lectures now and then, leaving him home alone.

Might be an interesting experiment.
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:12 PM
 
9 posts, read 4,094 times
Reputation: 20
He works in a warehouse as a picker
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:37 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,358 posts, read 41,900,880 times
Reputation: 83294
Quote:
Originally Posted by ari21 View Post
He works in a warehouse as a picker
Ari, could you go ahead and type out all the relevant info now? in one post?

Like ... your ages, what you do for a living, whether your BF smokes weed at night when he comes home or if he's depressed, stuff like that.
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