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Old 07-09-2019, 06:48 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,642 posts, read 4,882,995 times
Reputation: 12548

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The only person who can answer those questions is you.

Your life, you have to live and learn on your own.

Based on your posts about her you didn't really seem THAT into her and expressed guilt over not feeling as strongly as she has for months. So that should tell you something.
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:51 PM
 
1,914 posts, read 811,826 times
Reputation: 2108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
The only person who can answer those questions is you.

Your life, you have to live and learn on your own.

Based on your posts about her you didn't really seem THAT into her and expressed guilt over not feeling as strongly as she has for months. So that should tell you something.
True. Thank you.
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,649 posts, read 33,451,681 times
Reputation: 32369
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berteau View Post
Should I have waited longer to see if i would fall in love? Are my feelings normal and how long will I take her to recover?
Your feelings are normal and since you had already came to this point prolonging it would just make it worse.
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Old 07-09-2019, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,333 posts, read 41,880,675 times
Reputation: 83247
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berteau View Post
She fixed all those issues. People do change and grow.
Wow, she fixed all that? That's good.

Did her ex husband ever sign the divorce papers?

Right now you're just going through the grief stage of not having something that you're used to. That's why people tell you to stay busy after a breakup so your mind doesn't keep wandering back to that list.

You did the right thing. You were not as into her as she was into you.
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Old 07-09-2019, 07:05 PM
 
7,445 posts, read 2,938,613 times
Reputation: 12357
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berteau View Post
Should I have waited longer to see if i would fall in love? Are my feelings normal and how long will I take her to recover?
Are you asking how long will it take her to recover? We can't know that. We she upset? Have you had any contact since?

Would you be upset if you found out she was just fine, and found a new guy?

Everyone deserves to have fireworks if that's what their aim is. I know I've felt it a few times, so I'm not hanging out for 9 months of "this is kinda nice". I feel like someone would be lucky to have me as their SO, so if they're just feeling MEH, then don't do me no favors. Know what I mean?

Yeah, you did the right thing for sure.
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Old 07-13-2019, 10:57 PM
 
4,793 posts, read 1,440,724 times
Reputation: 6592
Why do you feel horrible? Is it because you feel you hurt her? Or because you miss her?

As for whether or not you did the right thing, you'll figure that out soon enough.

If you continue to feel horrible and that feeling just won't go away, then you probably made a mistake.
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Old 07-14-2019, 09:44 AM
 
1,914 posts, read 811,826 times
Reputation: 2108
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Why do you feel horrible? Is it because you feel you hurt her? Or because you miss her?

As for whether or not you did the right thing, you'll figure that out soon enough.

If you continue to feel horrible and that feeling just won't go away, then you probably made a mistake.
I feel bad because I broke her heart and she’s is going through a lot of pain now. She was crying. I do also miss her, but I think that’s just because of all the time we spent together and constant communication. I miss having her in my life. All our inside jokes, her voice, our things we did together, her hugs and kisses. I am feeling better though, And it hasn’t been a week yet. But when we were still a couple, I didn’t miss her as much.
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Old 07-14-2019, 10:28 AM
 
102 posts, read 10,485 times
Reputation: 143
Not got any advice, but just want to say I hope you feel better soon OP.
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Old 07-14-2019, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Iowa
118 posts, read 23,071 times
Reputation: 159
The grass is always greener. Back-and-forth, hot-and-cold is not a good way to live IMO, so I would stick with your decision. It would hurt her worse if you go back to her now and then dump her again in a few months.

I have had to break up with someone I cared about who really wanted to be with me - it's the worst feeling in the world, but gets better with time. Best of luck.
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Old 07-14-2019, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Southern California
5,478 posts, read 8,160,130 times
Reputation: 5147
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berteau View Post
She fixed all those issues. People do change and grow.
Well, if you still don't deeply love her, then I guess it wasn't meant to be. People can look great "on paper". That still doesn't mean they're THE ONE, so don't feel bad that you seem to be wondering why you didn't love her more.

I'm not one for staying friends w/ exes, so don't try to stay in touch here & there, hang out sometimes, & all that, just be done for good then.
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