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Old 07-10-2019, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Iowa
118 posts, read 23,972 times
Reputation: 164

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Quote:
Originally Posted by warreng213 View Post
Maybe u donít understand my point or maybe I worded it wrong. The dodgers game was the very first time that I had asked her. Fast forward 2 weeks later, I had asked her if she was free on the weekend and thatís when she told me she was going to a concert so I just left it at that. I Felt that I was putting in more effort than her so thatís why I havenít been talking to her as of late. Figured the next time Iíll talk to her is when I would see her again at work.
Why shouldn't you put in more effort than her?

It's pretty normal to have conflicting schedules. I would offer three times as options. If none of them work for her, _then_ I would leave the ball in her court to offer an alternative.
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Old 07-10-2019, 05:50 PM
 
2,062 posts, read 869,124 times
Reputation: 5080
So when she agreed to go to the Dodgers with you, why didn't you nail down a date? Then two weeks later, you still didn't act on the Dodgers game idea and she had already made plans, so why didn't you nail down an alternate date and time then? You're not much of a salesman.
I'll tell you a story. I met my wife on a crowded subway and started talking to her. I asked her if she wanted to go out that night. She said no. I then asked for her phone number and she said no, you won't remember it. I then told her I had a great memory and she gave me her number. The next night which was a Friday I called her and asked her out for Saturday night to see a movie. She said yes. We were engaged 6 months later and married 9 months after that. Now we have 6 grandchildren. I've learned that opportunity seldom knocks, but when it does you have to walk through that door in a hurry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by warreng213 View Post
Maybe u don’t understand my point or maybe I worded it wrong. The dodgers game was the very first time that I had asked her. Fast forward 2 weeks later, I had asked her if she was free on the weekend and that’s when she told me she was going to a concert so I just left it at that. I Felt that I was putting in more effort than her so that’s why I haven’t been talking to her as of late. Figured the next time I’ll talk to her is when I would see her again at work.
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Old 07-10-2019, 06:09 PM
 
12 posts, read 2,736 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
So when she agreed to go to the Dodgers with you, why didn't you nail down a date? Then two weeks later, you still didn't act on the Dodgers game idea and she had already made plans, so why didn't you nail down an alternate date and time then? You're not much of a salesman.
I'll tell you a story. I met my wife on a crowded subway and started talking to her. I asked her if she wanted to go out that night. She said no. I then asked for her phone number and she said no, you won't remember it. I then told her I had a great memory and she gave me her number. The next night which was a Friday I called her and asked her out for Saturday night to see a movie. She said yes. We were engaged 6 months later and married 9 months after that. Now we have 6 grandchildren. I've learned that opportunity seldom knocks, but when it does you have to walk through that door in a hurry.
Man thatís a great story. Glad it all worked out for u for sure. Iím debating if I should text her or just wait til I see her in person so that way I can catch her body language as well. At times, I feel like she is giving me mixed signals which led me to taking a step back and re-analyzing this whole situation. Iím not stressed out or anything of that nature but I just wanted to see where her head was at. If either she is wanting me to pursue her harder, or if she is just acting friendly and polite.

Thanks!
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Old 07-10-2019, 06:13 PM
 
12 posts, read 2,736 times
Reputation: 15
of Course, u guys wouldn’t be able to tell me based off that context, but she did show me a lot of interest. Eg; her adding me on ig, telling me that her coworker thought I was cute, and the vibe that I got when I talked to her in person. But like I’ve said, she has been mixed signals and idk if that’s her way of playing games or just letting me off easily.
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Old 07-10-2019, 06:33 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,792 posts, read 70,635,877 times
Reputation: 76771
Quote:
Originally Posted by warreng213 View Post
Maybe u donít understand my point or maybe I worded it wrong. The dodgers game was the very first time that I had asked her. Fast forward 2 weeks later, I had asked her if she was free on the weekend and thatís when she told me she was going to a concert so I just left it at that. I Felt that I was putting in more effort than her so thatís why I havenít been talking to her as of late. Figured the next time Iíll talk to her is when I would see her again at work.
So-o-o....the Dodgers game is history? It already came and went, and you never invited her to it? Or it was just hypothetical?

So, now what? What if you see her and ask her to an event, and she says, "I thought we were going to go to a Dodgers game". Then what do you do?


Why does this have to be so complicated?
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Old 07-10-2019, 06:35 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,792 posts, read 70,635,877 times
Reputation: 76771
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
So when she agreed to go to the Dodgers with you, why didn't you nail down a date? Then two weeks later, you still didn't act on the Dodgers game idea and she had already made plans, so why didn't you nail down an alternate date and time then? You're not much of a salesman.
I'll tell you a story. I met my wife on a crowded subway and started talking to her. I asked her if she wanted to go out that night. She said no. I then asked for her phone number and she said no, you won't remember it. I then told her I had a great memory and she gave me her number. The next night which was a Friday I called her and asked her out for Saturday night to see a movie. She said yes. We were engaged 6 months later and married 9 months after that. Now we have 6 grandchildren. I've learned that opportunity seldom knocks, but when it does you have to walk through that door in a hurry.
lol. Seriously, OP, it's like you're just dreaming about dating, instead of actually doing it. Who knows, if you manage to ask her out for a set time and day, you may end up with grandchildren. lol

Great story!
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Old 07-10-2019, 06:38 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,792 posts, read 70,635,877 times
Reputation: 76771
Quote:
Originally Posted by warreng213 View Post
of Course, u guys wouldn’t be able to tell me based off that context, but she did show me a lot of interest. Eg; her adding me on ig, telling me that her coworker thought I was cute, and the vibe that I got when I talked to her in person. But like I’ve said, she has been mixed signals and idk if that’s her way of playing games or just letting me off easily.
So FIND OUT! Stick your neck out, for an exciting change of pace. You'll survive. There is no guillotine to come hurtling down on you. Just take a chance.




Oy!
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Old 07-10-2019, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,077 posts, read 8,351,665 times
Reputation: 19444
Quote:
Originally Posted by warreng213 View Post
At times, I feel like she is giving me mixed signals which led me to taking a step back and re-analyzing this whole situation. Iím not stressed out or anything of that nature but I just wanted to see where her head was at.
I'd worry less about the signals she's sending and concentrate on the ones YOU'RE sending. You vaguely asked her to a Dodgers game two weeks ago with no follow through and claim to be very busy. What should her takeaway be to your (in)actions?
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:34 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,792 posts, read 70,635,877 times
Reputation: 76771
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
I'd worry less about the signals she's sending and concentrate on the ones YOU'RE sending. You vaguely asked her to a Dodgers game two weeks ago with no follow through and claim to be very busy. What should her takeaway be to your (in)actions?
Very good point. OP, you're spending so much time in your head, waffling between avoiding inviting her to anything specific, and over-analyzing on the other hand, imagining that she's the one sending mixed messages, that you've done a good job of paralyzing yourself, and may have convinced her you weren't serious in the first place. Get out of your head and take a stand, for heaven's sake.
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:57 PM
 
2,062 posts, read 869,124 times
Reputation: 5080
I'd say do it in person. If you really like her, talk her into it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by warreng213 View Post
Man thatís a great story. Glad it all worked out for u for sure. Iím debating if I should text her or just wait til I see her in person so that way I can catch her body language as well. At times, I feel like she is giving me mixed signals which led me to taking a step back and re-analyzing this whole situation. Iím not stressed out or anything of that nature but I just wanted to see where her head was at. If either she is wanting me to pursue her harder, or if she is just acting friendly and polite.

Thanks!
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