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Old 07-12-2019, 03:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Because she goes cold on him, as soon as he responds to her overtures, and because she also tries to make some of her overtures ambiguous, so she can pretend she wasn't starting anything. Classic game-playing behavior.
True the amount of ambiguity is excessive. I didn't think he'd notice all of those details and "what time/day is it when this happens" kind of stuff unless he was really interested in her. If he isn't attracted and interested in her, is this just like a Human Behavior question? It doesn't even have to be a 'she' if he's not picturing her as a date...

If you are interested in her OP, she's either going to say yes or no.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
IMO it makes perfect sense to brush her off, given that her interest isn't serious or genuine.
I'd argue that her interest is likely both serious and genuine. Engaging in deep conversations isn't casual flirting or game playing.

As for her becoming cold towards the OP at times, I'm not really buying the other explanations that have been suggested (i.e. she views him as a challenge and she loses interest when he shows interest).

If I were to guess what's going on here, with the small amount of info we have, I'd say that she's going cold when the OP approaches her when other people are around. What I'm suggesting is that the OP may not be viewed as a "cool guy" on campus, and she might not want to be seen associating with him. Obviously that wouldn't be the ideal situation (if that's even the case), but it's the feeling I'm getting.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
I didn't think he'd notice all of those details and "what time/day is it when this happens" kind of stuff unless he was really interested in her. If he isn't attracted and interested in her, is this just like a Human Behavior question?
He is obsessed with her.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
True the amount of ambiguity is excessive. I didn't think he'd notice all of those details and "what time/day is it when this happens" kind of stuff unless he was really interested in her. If he isn't attracted and interested in her, is this just like a Human Behavior question? It doesn't even have to be a 'she' if he's not picturing her as a date...

If you are interested in her OP, she's either going to say yes or no.
He's a heterosexual guy, says she's extremely attractive, he seems inexperienced. She's screwing with his head for her own egotistical purposes and he's not properly armed to handle it. Of course he's interested in the pretty girl flipping her hair who isn't being sincere with him and dangling a carrot in his face. He doesn't know any better.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:38 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Originally Posted by BobCaldwell View Post
He's a heterosexual guy, says she's extremely attractive, he seems inexperienced. She's screwing with his head for her own egotistical purposes and he's not properly armed to handle it. Of course he's interested in the pretty girl flipping her hair who isn't being sincere with him and dangling a carrot in his face. He doesn't know any better.
Bingo.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobCaldwell View Post
He's a heterosexual guy, says she's extremely attractive, he seems inexperienced. She's screwing with his head for her own egotistical purposes and he's not properly armed to handle it. Of course he's interested in the pretty girl flipping her hair who isn't being sincere with him and dangling a carrot in his face. He doesn't know any better.
While I realize what you're describing is very common, the deep conversations don't fit in with your theory.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:42 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
While I realize what you're describing is very common, the deep conversations don't fit in with your theory.
I wouldn't be so sure about the meaning of the deep conversations. Some people use personal disclosure as a way to manipulate others by creating a sense of false intimacy. It happens. Whether that's her motive or not, we can't know for sure, but it's weird that she would blurt out all kinds of person stuff in the couple of times they've had a mere 15 minutes together. He's a virtual stranger, but she's spilling her life story? That's not normal behavior.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:49 PM
 
7,426 posts, read 2,936,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobCaldwell View Post
He's a heterosexual guy, says she's extremely attractive, he seems inexperienced. She's screwing with his head for her own egotistical purposes and he's not properly armed to handle it. Of course he's interested in the pretty girl flipping her hair who isn't being sincere with him and dangling a carrot in his face. He doesn't know any better.
That's why I say ask her out, and quit the suffering and ruminations that have taken over.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
That's why I say ask her out, and quit the suffering and ruminations that have taken over.
Agreed, it's the only way to know for sure.
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Old 07-12-2019, 05:02 PM
 
4,773 posts, read 1,435,292 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I wouldn't be so sure about the meaning of the deep conversations. Some people use personal disclosure as a way to manipulate others by creating a sense of false intimacy. It happens. Whether that's her motive or not, we can't know for sure, but it's weird that she would blurt out all kinds of person stuff in the couple of times they've had a mere 15 minutes together. He's a virtual stranger, but she's spilling her life story? That's not normal behavior.
I just re-read the 1st post. Perhaps the deep conversations aren't so deep. I don't know. But I think you're being overly cynical here. I don't find her behavior to be abnormal. She likes him, and she's trying to get to know him. Often when someone shares personal details, the other person will also. That's how people get to know each other.

I'm far from convinced she's playing games.
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