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Old 07-16-2019, 11:20 AM
 
1,989 posts, read 1,316,650 times
Reputation: 3415

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Quote:
Originally Posted by meriland31 View Post
So, me and him had a hour long talk after signing the divorce receivement papers. It wasn't initially about us, but another thing that has really bothered him and he ended up emotionally confiding in me on that. And I consoled him...and its like, this is the thing he wouldn't do with me. Just open up. After that, the talk segued into me telling him that he has to take a leap of faith to and at least try and open up to me like he did there..cause, the past 3 months have been a wait and observe what I do and if I can earn his trust to talk to me about things, but that can't be proven unless he is willing to take a chance and attempt it, and I am not a mind reader.... and that is the only way to know. He seemed to understand this quite well and started just.. apologizing for inconveniencing me with the divorce, that I am the one he wants to grow old with, and he doesnt want me to leave, and that he would still call me his wife (not GF) since the D process is well, in process. He even huggled and kissed my neck when he went to bed whereas this morning was a whole lot of...live your life and I will live mine, move on/ in not feeling it ...kinda stuff
This is the goofiest thing I ever heard. You're getting a divorce, but you are the one he want's to grow old with?! He's keeping you on a leash as a backup plan just in case no one rolls into his life. Even though he wants a divorce, the familiarity is still hard for him to lose. How long are you going to wait? You need to move on too.

Trust me, the second someone else comes along, you are history.
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Old 07-16-2019, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Florida
19,870 posts, read 19,990,887 times
Reputation: 23363
You're there until he doesn't need you any longer. Is that where you to be?
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Old 07-16-2019, 11:59 PM
 
15 posts, read 3,876 times
Reputation: 10
I don't know anymore. I don't think I could smoke any more cigarettes. Hell, last night I had my first night terror in years. YEARS. I just remember being in the basement of a building and being beaten by a gang of teens and screaming up to him for help. The next thing I knew, i woke up and heard him searching for me. He thought I fell down the stairs screaming for help. He found i was in the other room half asleep and he just sat there holding me and kissing my forehead, asking whaylt the dream was. Sounds pathetic, but thats what really happened. Hes been like 'this' since Saturday. Just, wanting cuddles and kissing my shoulder or head all the time,, sending me funny videos from the other room, spooning me, wanting to go to picnics and ice cream shops and I ...I just.....im like, okay, yes this is what I wanted but wtf?! 5 says ago he literally told me "i don't want a relationship with you anymore" but now its...not. Its like I said "youre still the person I want to grow old with" and stuff.. or feeling guilty about the divorce process and its inconveniences simply because I consoled him and he saw I was "like a completely, different person". No, thats who I am! What I do is who I am, you just never gave me any chance to console you. It takes two pieces of bread to make a sandwich. Im so tired of this "we will see if you can be the person, or be a "different person" ****. Why am I always living up to a list of 'what he he looks for in a partner'? A list primarily created in reference to the aspects of another woman who friendzoned him? She had these aspects he admired, so he jotted them down (as well as other traits from others) and wanted to find someone who could fit all these prerequisites. The second time I met him he showed me this list and was curious if it seemed like something I could fill. Seemed like pretty basic relationship 101 stuff so yeah? He decided to 'leave' me now cause I 'failed' it, but still had hopes I could achieve it in the future when I figure my **** out. I don't even know how to word to him how this list has nade me feel. Like, am I special or not? 4 years and the list shouldnt matter. Hes treating me so endearingly now cause...holy crap, she has a soul to give. Well duh.
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Old 07-17-2019, 01:41 AM
 
18 posts, read 3,685 times
Reputation: 49
This can't be real. If so, which I doubt, you are both toxic for each other.

Sorry but this reads like some sort of bad fiction.
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Old 07-17-2019, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,573 posts, read 42,148,483 times
Reputation: 83849
Do you have a question, OP?
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Old 07-17-2019, 08:56 AM
 
658 posts, read 501,528 times
Reputation: 737
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty99 View Post
This can't be real. If so, which I doubt, you are both toxic for each other.

Sorry but this reads like some sort of bad fiction.
Yeah, sometimes I feel when I read this threads is one writer behind them just practicing fiction. And take advantage of the opinion of the public.

And I am a writer, so all this looks shady.
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Old 07-17-2019, 10:03 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,876 times
Reputation: 10
No, its real. Even my own sister just chuckles like "what the **** you two like...the weirdest relationship I've ever seen in my life"
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Old 07-17-2019, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,573 posts, read 42,148,483 times
Reputation: 83849
Quote:
Originally Posted by meriland31 View Post
No, its real. Even my own sister just chuckles like "what the **** you two like...the weirdest relationship I've ever seen in my life"
So ... no question then?
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Old 07-17-2019, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Virginia
4,010 posts, read 2,066,239 times
Reputation: 11076
Personally, I would tell him he could leave with his list in his hand or anywhere else that he could insert it. If he's been setting up some kind of artificial constructs that you need to fulfill to qualify as his wife, **** him.
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Old 07-17-2019, 02:35 PM
 
5,175 posts, read 1,296,359 times
Reputation: 4050
I can't read this whole thing but 9 times out of 10 when a guy wants out, he is seeing someone else.
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