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Old 07-13-2019, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Middle America
36,701 posts, read 41,991,338 times
Reputation: 50635

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Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
Definitely not just kids. I was 32 before someone showed any interest and asked me out, which was a new experience for me. I didn't feel strong attraction for her at first, but most of my attraction to women isn't based on the physical...it develops as I get to know them, but I can usually find something attractive in just about any woman. The fact that she was interested in me jump-started my willingness to be attracted to her, and made me ignore her obvious issues. Even the first date was red flag city. Any person in their right mind would have walked away after the things she told me even on the first date, and it got worse from there. But, having someone be interested in me, even if I was a nasty rebound for her, was enough to make me stick until it turned abusive.


It taught me that I can't fix someone, and also not to play with fire, not that I've had any matches in my hand since then. So...maybe I learned faster than a teenager would?
Well, sure.

But that poster was still a kid, young enough that major brain development hadn't even finished yet. At least, in 32 years, you have presumably had more of an opportunity to discover who your adult self is, and get a better grip on what your own wants and needs are. That certainly doesn't make anybody immune to the rush of a new relationship, or basking in rare attention, which can precipitate lapses in judgment. Anybody who is desperate to be liked, at any age, can talk themselves in to excusing the bad, even if they see it.

 
Old 07-13-2019, 03:39 PM
 
8,083 posts, read 6,020,979 times
Reputation: 5727
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
Definitely not just kids. I was 32 before someone showed any interest and asked me out, which was a new experience for me. I didn't feel strong attraction for her at first, but most of my attraction to women isn't based on the physical...it develops as I get to know them, but I can usually find something attractive in just about any woman. The fact that she was interested in me jump-started my willingness to be attracted to her, and made me ignore her obvious issues. Even the first date was red flag city. Any person in their right mind would have walked away after the things she told me even on the first date, and it got worse from there. But, having someone be interested in me, even if I was a nasty rebound for her, was enough to make me stick until it turned abusive.


It taught me that I can't fix someone, and also not to play with fire, not that I've had any matches in my hand since then. So...maybe I learned faster than a teenager would?
I had a similar experience with a woman who shown interest in me. I wasn't initially attracted, then I saw something that made me a little more attracted. But ultimately, it didn't work out.
 
Old 07-13-2019, 05:01 PM
 
4,814 posts, read 1,457,278 times
Reputation: 6615
OP, out of curiosity, what was the problem with the woman?

Weight? Hygiene? Something else?
 
Old 07-13-2019, 05:05 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
OP, out of curiosity, what was the problem with the woman?

Weight? Hygiene? Something else?
Weight, style, face just in general I find nothing physically appealing about her.
 
Old 07-13-2019, 06:37 PM
 
26,148 posts, read 28,548,775 times
Reputation: 24868
You didn't go with "a women". You went with a woman.
 
Old 07-13-2019, 06:39 PM
 
141 posts, read 25,459 times
Reputation: 238
Could it be OP that porn and prostitutes is the problem and that your standards are unrealistic as a result. If you lay off both you might find more to like about "normal" women.
 
Old 07-13-2019, 06:41 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,660 posts, read 3,694,065 times
Reputation: 19798
Quote:
Originally Posted by SVTLightning View Post
So you are shallow, at least you know this going forward. Nothing wrong with it.
I don't think it's shallow to not feel physical attraction for a certain person.
 
Old 07-13-2019, 06:46 PM
 
141 posts, read 25,459 times
Reputation: 238
Also if you do meet someone you like, how are you going to explain away having visited prostitutes. Not many women are going to be impressed by this. I feel you are self-sabotaging there.
 
Old 07-13-2019, 07:08 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Could it be OP that porn and prostitutes is the problem and that your standards are unrealistic as a result. If you lay off both you might find more to like about "normal" women.
Nope not at all Iím not looking for airbrushed perfect 10ís far from it.

Just what I find attractive personally.
 
Old 07-13-2019, 07:09 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Also if you do meet someone you like, how are you going to explain away having visited prostitutes. Not many women are going to be impressed by this. I feel you are self-sabotaging there.
There not gonna know because Iím not gonna tell them.
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