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Old 07-11-2019, 10:59 AM
 
1,812 posts, read 529,836 times
Reputation: 2263

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Iíve tried old and it never worked for me.. couldnít ever get a response back.. I never deleted my profile but I stayed off it and after a few years I got my first message from a lady.

I knew by her picture I had no physical attraction at all but since I can never get dates I figured why not give it a shot even knowing myself and how my attraction works that this probably would go nowhere.

She was fine as a person had fun taking to her but there was no way I could ever be intimate wit her. She called me and asked for another date I felt bad but I just couldnít do it. There was no way I could picture even kissing her.

I know how my attraction works and Iíd rather be alone the rest of my life then with someone Iím not physically attracted to at all which might be my situation but so be it.
If you cant get dates, what are you doing to figure out why? What are you doing to better yourself?

 
Old 07-11-2019, 11:09 AM
 
1,659 posts, read 3,609,646 times
Reputation: 1281
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Iíve tried old and it never worked for me.. couldnít ever get a response back.. I never deleted my profile but I stayed off it and after a few years I got my first message from a lady.

I knew by her picture I had no physical attraction at all but since I can never get dates I figured why not give it a shot even knowing myself and how my attraction works that this probably would go nowhere.

She was fine as a person had fun taking to her but there was no way I could ever be intimate wit her. She called me and asked for another date I felt bad but I just couldnít do it. There was no way I could picture even kissing her.

I know how my attraction works and Iíd rather be alone the rest of my life then with someone Iím not physically attracted to at all which might be my situation but so be it.
So why not say, "let's be friends."

Let's face it, we all know there are some "heck no" people for us. That is not being shallow it is being real.

BUT

What you have done is boost your own self-esteem by getting a woman to be into you when you have no interest in her and that is a la'douche move.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 11:11 AM
 
717 posts, read 185,752 times
Reputation: 942
“Can’t get dates”

Obviously, something worked here. That’s got to be a positive point, right? This proves that you at least have something to offer on the dating market, that she saw it, thought it was good enough to take a chance on, contacted you, went on a date wth you, and wanted to do it again. So, that’s great, from my point of view. “It didn’t go well,” I’d say, it went about as well as you’d have expected it to given what you know about yourself and what you knew about her. I’d take it as a place to start building some self-confidence, even if it didn’t have a fairytale ending.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 11:11 AM
 
1,607 posts, read 1,364,436 times
Reputation: 1170
Quote:
Originally Posted by SVTLightning View Post
So you are shallow, at least you know this going forward. Nothing wrong with it.
How can you expect someone to date a person they're not physically attracted to? That's a pretty basic and a universal qualifier for dating.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 11:14 AM
 
1,607 posts, read 1,364,436 times
Reputation: 1170
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Iíve tried old and it never worked for me.. couldnít ever get a response back.. I never deleted my profile but I stayed off it and after a few years I got my first message from a lady.

I knew by her picture I had no physical attraction at all but since I can never get dates I figured why not give it a shot even knowing myself and how my attraction works that this probably would go nowhere.

She was fine as a person had fun taking to her but there was no way I could ever be intimate wit her. She called me and asked for another date I felt bad but I just couldnít do it. There was no way I could picture even kissing her.

I know how my attraction works and Iíd rather be alone the rest of my life then with someone Iím not physically attracted to at all which might be my situation but so be it.
I don't when people say "they can't get dates" I feel they're just not trying hard enough, or they're looking in the wrong places. Are you making an effort to meet people? Just putting a profile up on OLD and not getting any messages doesn't automatically mean you can't get dates, it could be something in your profile that's putting people off.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,653 posts, read 33,472,314 times
Reputation: 32369
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme View Post
So why not say, "let's be friends."

Let's face it, we all know there are some "heck no" people for us. That is not being shallow it is being real.

BUT

What you have done is boost your own self-esteem by getting a woman to be into you when you have no interest in her and that is a la'douche move.
What?! He didnít exactly put an evil spell on her forcing her to like him. He simply went out on a date and made conversation with a woman. If that woman is into him, totally on her and not him.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
14,832 posts, read 12,284,157 times
Reputation: 26290
Don’t ever say you can’t get a date. Obviously you can.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 12:11 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
IMHO, you never should have accepted/offered a date in the first place bc you already knew it wasn't going to work out. Why waste the time?

But, let me ask you JB... has this given you any new perspective from the other side of it? Many of the one's who are your "type" may not see you as their's just like on your own date. What would you advise your unattractive date to do to improve her chances, and could you benefit from the same advice?
Get better looking? Lol or find someone whoís physically attracted to you

Truth is she was fine personality wise she just wasnít attractive to me.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 12:12 PM
 
1,659 posts, read 3,609,646 times
Reputation: 1281
OP you probably need a reality check. If you can't get a date with the women you find attractive then that should tell you something, maybe you are not on their level.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 12:15 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme View Post
So why not say, "let's be friends."

Let's face it, we all know there are some "heck no" people for us. That is not being shallow it is being real.

BUT

What you have done is boost your own self-esteem by getting a woman to be into you when you have no interest in her and that is a la'douche move.
What are you talking about? This didnít help my self esteem I did it to see if i found other things attractive about her that would make me attracted to her but it didnt work.

Guys who canít get dates get killed here for having too high a standards or shooting out of their league then if you lower it and it doesnít work youíre getting on me for it . You canít win.
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