U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 07-16-2019, 04:57 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
And sometimes it not only isn't about what you say to people, and it's not even about the impression they get of you. Sometimes it is in choosing not to see something because you don't believe in it. Like not picking up on flirtation because you are just so damn sure you're ugly and no one wants you. Or sabotaging a possibility because deep down you don't believe you deserve anything good. With no conscious thought.

I'm not talking about this woman you went on a date with, by the way. I'm just giving examples of ways in which people who carry persistent negative self talk of some kind, tend to have it influencing things in ways they often can't even see.
Ehh Iím usually the opposite in that any signs of friendliness I hope maybe means sheís into me. Thereís just no signs though usually. In the rare ocaassion that Iím talking to a single lady.

 
Old 07-16-2019, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,528 posts, read 1,612,902 times
Reputation: 4418
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Ehh I’m usually the opposite in that any signs of friendliness I hope maybe means she’s into me. There’s just no signs though usually. In the rare ocaassion that I’m talking to a single lady.
Fair enough. But let's say a woman showed romantic interest in you. Maybe not enough to sleep with you the same night she met you (only Chads are that sexy), but at least enough to make it clear she was into you. Would you have an easier time believing it if the woman wasn't conventionally attractive (overweight, plain appearance, etc.) or if she was conventionally attractive?
 
Old 07-16-2019, 05:29 PM
 
141 posts, read 25,459 times
Reputation: 238
MillenialUrbanist, I believe you have mistaken this forum for an incel forum using terminology like that.
 
Old 07-16-2019, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,528 posts, read 1,612,902 times
Reputation: 4418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
MillenialUrbanist, I believe you have mistaken this forum for an incel forum using terminology like that.
Meh. I was using "Chads" as shorthand for "very sexually desirable men". It's easier to type 5 letters than 24 letters (and 3 spaces). And if JBT1980 had to start this thread in the first place, he's probably not the type of man the shorthand applies to (sorry). Most men aren't.
 
Old 07-16-2019, 06:20 PM
 
8,083 posts, read 6,020,979 times
Reputation: 5727
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Ehh Iím usually the opposite in that any signs of friendliness I hope maybe means sheís into me. Thereís just no signs though usually. In the rare ocaassion that Iím talking to a single lady.
Didn't you post something like, say, a friend has talked to you and told you that he hasn't ever seen a woman interested in you or some form of that at some point. Some poster posted something like that not too long ago.

I think the context was friends have ways of picking up whether someone is interested or not. It might not have been you, but someone on here.
 
Old 07-16-2019, 06:22 PM
 
141 posts, read 25,459 times
Reputation: 238
Well how about just saying sexually desirable men? Chad is a term used by misogynists.
 
Old 07-16-2019, 06:42 PM
Status: "Beach time!" (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg/Virginia Beach, VA
10,701 posts, read 11,108,112 times
Reputation: 14090
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Well how about just saying sexually desirable men? Chad is a term used by misogynists.
Man Iím so out of the loop. I havenít even heard it and had no idea what he was talking about!
 
Old 07-16-2019, 06:43 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,236 posts, read 4,661,647 times
Reputation: 9307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Well how about just saying sexually desirable men? Chad is a term used by misogynists.
This is his typical incel M.O.
 
Old 07-16-2019, 07:56 PM
 
717 posts, read 185,752 times
Reputation: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
Didn't you post something like, say, a friend has talked to you and told you that he hasn't ever seen a woman interested in you or some form of that at some point. Some poster posted something like that not too long ago.

I think the context was friends have ways of picking up whether someone is interested or not. It might not have been you, but someone on here.

That was me. Two different friends actually, one a female friend I've known for 15+ years (from college, same major, spent lots of time together), the other a guy I've known for 20 years (from high school). I'd talked to them both about my lack of success in dating. The woman said she'd never seen anyone interested in me in the years we were in college together (insinuated really, I mentioned something about possibly missing signals from interested women all along, and she got a sad look on her face and shook her head), the guy (a ladies' man) said I come off as too...friendly?...to women and turn off their attraction. (Friendly, not in a creepy way, but in a "Aw, you're such a sweetheart" way, as opposed to a "Hmm..." way.)
 
Old 07-16-2019, 07:58 PM
 
717 posts, read 185,752 times
Reputation: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
It was the first women outside of my family I had a deep connection with and loved so of course I was gonna hang on.. Yes she has issues but so do I. Excuse me for being human and having feelings and affection for somebody for the first time in almost 40 year and hanging on too long.

I also have seen you post about certain insecurities even you still have yet when it comes to me or men in general you have little tolerance for struggling guys who have self esteem and confidendce issues with the opposite sex.

I think itís kind of a PTSD from your ex who you seem to correlate with every struggling guy here and it sparks something in you that takes it out on me or someone else.

Iím not him donít project on to me his issues.

I may not know much about this sort of thing but I do know it's a mistake to get fixated on one person. If she doesn't say yes, move along. I've been burned badly by this in the past; finally learned to take my hand out of the fire.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top