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Old 07-18-2019, 05:12 PM
 
8,083 posts, read 6,020,979 times
Reputation: 5727

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman View Post
Sorry, but I thought you had a low paying job? Do you have a career or just a job? I always thought it was one of the biggest obstacles for you being single, having a low paying job. Do you live on your own?
Probably someone else. I made that mistake earlier on in the thread...

 
Old 07-18-2019, 05:15 PM
 
8,083 posts, read 6,020,979 times
Reputation: 5727
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
All men who have trouble women are fat, short, poor, ugly losers, right?

Lol...
I'm fat, not short, poor, not ugly, but not Idris Elba either, and I do okay with women. Of course, you can say it's all because of my height. Let's see, I've come across dudes that are struggling with women that are my height and taller. If it was all about height, then either these dudes would be doing better with women, or I would have crappy luck with women as well.
 
Old 07-18-2019, 05:22 PM
 
8,083 posts, read 6,020,979 times
Reputation: 5727
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Learn sports... learn the rules. Be able to discuss trades, and specific players.

Learn to handle your liquor and not be a psycho every time you consume more than 4 beers...

Learn to play the guitar ... well (though this is more for an older generation).

Learn about cars and be interested in working on them, or fixing vintage cars.

Offer to pay for dates!
Grow a beard as well while you're at it.

I'm just kidding, just kidding.



For us dateless guys.

Start reading romance novels. Be able to discuss the various aspects of the story.

Learn about fashion and discuss the latest trends

Get the latest gossip on Ryan Gosling.

Form a habit of eating salads.


(Please don't take this post seriously)
 
Old 07-18-2019, 05:43 PM
 
7,413 posts, read 11,576,699 times
Reputation: 8208
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
For us dateless guys.

Start reading romance novels. Be able to discuss the various aspects of the story.

Learn about fashion and discuss the latest trends

Get the latest gossip on Ryan Gosling.

Form a habit of eating salads.
In reality, most women don't have to change a damn thing because they're the ones being chased. However, for those that do have trouble, getting into sports and guitar would be a huge plus because those are two things that a LOT of guys are passionate about. You can't just learn the guitar, but sports is easy.

And music in general, granted some women are really into music, but not as much as guys.

As for your examples, I don't think many women really read romance novels.

If I were giving a guy advice on how to snag a woman (and one that could serve some long term potential), I'd say...

-Read a lot of books. The average woman reads a TON more than the average man.
-Learn to dance and cook. Or have an interest in these things.

As far as going to the salon and getting nails done, and going shopping, do women really have 'fun' talking about those things? I know they do them, but it almost seems like something they have to do... I enjoy shopping a little, but I don't see how you could talk about it for any length of time.
 
Old 07-18-2019, 05:51 PM
 
717 posts, read 185,752 times
Reputation: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
Good for you! How many women have you asked out on a date in the last year?


At one point I could tell you that number off the top of my head. I obsessed over it. Every rejection was a point on the scoreboard against me. 15-20 or so? Something like that? That's stretching it back more than a year, when I started to try to get serious about dating. I can tell you that I had 25 lifetime rejections (one of those actually resulted in a first date before I was ghosted, so not technically an immediate rejection?) before I decided to hang it up. I decided to stop trying to pound my square peg into a round hole (I PROMISE, not a sexual reference, just a reference to how my trying to to date felt to me...hopeless, hapless, misguided, like I was always doing things the wrong way) and start spending more time on things that actually bring me fulfillment and enjoyment. I wanted to be willing to take an opportunity if I got one but no longer focusing everything around creating or looking for those opportunities, or spending lots of time and money molding myself into someone who might be a little more attractive to women. I work for me now.



Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
You do all of that and you cannot get a date??

There's more to attraction than all of the stuff I've done, I think. There's no guarantee in dating...it's always going to take someone who is attracted enough to say "Yes." I've made considerable progress on myself, but that just means I'm better than I was. I might have improved myself by 200 points, but if I started at -250 points, that means I'm still in the hole as far as attraction is concerned. People who've known me since before I decided I wanted to be a better man are amazed at my progress. To people I've met since...I'm nothing special. It still takes confidence and having an exciting personality to draw women in...I've got to be someone's "type." Even at my best I think there are a lot of guys who are my "type"...quiet, introverted, shy tendencies, geeky, somewhat goofy, not the greatest looking, not a strong/confident personality...and a lot fewer women who are attracted to that type. To brand types, geeky guys like me are a dime-a-dozen, so the fewer number of geeky girls have their pick of the litter. By my age they've found partners, coupled up, and the ones who are still perusing the market know they can wait for a specimen that ticks more boxes for them. I think that's been a factor honestly.
 
Old 07-18-2019, 05:58 PM
 
7,413 posts, read 11,576,699 times
Reputation: 8208
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
At one point I could tell you that number off the top of my head. I obsessed over it. Every rejection was a point on the scoreboard against me. 15-20 or so? Something like that? That's stretching it back more than a year, when I started to try to get serious about dating. I can tell you that I had 25 lifetime rejections (one of those actually resulted in a first date before I was ghosted, so not technically an immediate rejection?) before I decided to hang it up. I decided to stop trying to pound my square peg into a round hole (I PROMISE, not a sexual reference, just a reference to how my trying to to date felt to me...hopeless, hapless, misguided, like I was always doing things the wrong way) and start spending more time on things that actually bring me fulfillment and enjoyment. I wanted to be willing to take an opportunity if I got one but no longer focusing everything around creating or looking for those opportunities, or spending lots of time and money molding myself into someone who might be a little more attractive to women. I work for me now.
Lol...

See, there's lots of witty, smart, funny, level headed guys who have plenty of trouble with women.

Just the way it is, because, quite simply, people pick foolishly. Especially young people.

Maybe the next generation will get it right...
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:05 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,649 posts, read 4,894,902 times
Reputation: 12583
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Lol...

See, there's lots of witty, smart, funny, level headed guys who have plenty of trouble with women.

Just the way it is, because, quite simply, people pick foolishly. Especially young people.

Maybe the next generation will get it right...
I think it just shows no matter how beautiful/handsome, kind, genuine, etc. you are, no one is guaranteed a partner. Even if you do have one, they can always leave or disappear. That's why I think it's so critical to not internalize this stuff or make a relationship the end all be all of everything. It's simply not worth it the stress, the self doubt, insecurities. A lot of it is out of our control. Live your best life and if someone comes along/tries to weasel their way in, cool. If not, that's cool too. It's easier to see things more clearly that way. I also don't think there is a fool proof way to choose a partner either. People can always change, switch up, die, etc. Life is unpredictable that way.
 
Old 07-18-2019, 09:45 PM
 
Location: La lune et les ťtoiles
17,619 posts, read 19,061,699 times
Reputation: 18963
Quote:
Originally Posted by singaporelady View Post
Any similar one for dateless women ?
All we have to do is look really pretty, act soft and feminine, be fairly fit and give men hope that they will eventually be able to have sex with us.
 
Old 07-18-2019, 09:51 PM
 
Location: singapore
1,532 posts, read 1,274,548 times
Reputation: 426
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
All we have to do is look really pretty, act soft and feminine, be fairly fit and give men hope that they will eventually be able to have sex with us.
Look really pretty ? I rest my case
 
Old Yesterday, 05:42 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,528 posts, read 1,612,902 times
Reputation: 4418
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
All we have to do is look really pretty, act soft and feminine, be fairly fit and give men hope that they will eventually be able to have sex with us.
I'd say even those things are mostly optional. My first girlfriend wasn't pretty, and she still found me. All she had to do was show interest.

That said, I was 18, and this wouldn't work today. I now turn away women who show romantic interest, because I'm at an age when most women are looking to marry a man, which I refuse to let them.

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; Yesterday at 05:51 AM..
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