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Old 07-11-2019, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,566 posts, read 52,739,145 times
Reputation: 70876

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
This is why I hit back so hard at people who say I should take out people I donít have an immediate attraction to. It is just a waste of time.
I don't think men or women or anyone should ever date someone they are not attracted to.
It's unfair and a waste of time.

 
Old 07-11-2019, 12:42 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,649 posts, read 4,894,902 times
Reputation: 12583
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
The conclusion is I know how attraction works for me.

If thereís zero physical attraction thatís not gonna work for me.
Just be sure not to hold it against other women if they feel the same way about you.

Nothing personal, just how it works.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 12:57 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Just be sure not to hold it against other women if they feel the same way about you.

Nothing personal, just how it works.
I usually beat myself up over it more then blame women.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,433 posts, read 41,976,963 times
Reputation: 83438
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
I usually beat myself up over it more then blame women.
Then stop doing that.

You know how you work, and you know other people know their preferences too.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 01:06 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Then stop doing that.

You know how you work, and you know other people know their preferences too.
Of course but itís still easy to get down on yourself about it at times when youíre unsuccessful.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 01:08 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,649 posts, read 4,894,902 times
Reputation: 12583
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Of course but itís still easy to get down on yourself about it at times when youíre unsuccessful.
Your frustration is misguided. You're taking your frustration with the process out on yourself, which is leading to your low self esteem.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 01:12 PM
 
55 posts, read 10,151 times
Reputation: 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
I usually beat myself up over it more then blame women.
Why would you ever...ever down yourself IF your failure had to do with something you can't change? I mean yes, definitely eat better, workout, be pleasant to be around... but if it's cut and dry genetic traits, nobody's at fault.. just keep looking and stay positive. What else can you constructively do?

Hopefully, your own date isn't blaming herself bc of your rejection either.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 01:14 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 4,704,262 times
Reputation: 2898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Your frustration is misguided. You're taking your frustration with the process out on yourself, which is leading to your low self esteem.
Well Iím the common denominator in my failures so of course Iím gonna be hard on myself about it.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 01:19 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,649 posts, read 4,894,902 times
Reputation: 12583
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Well Iím the common denominator in my failures so of course Iím gonna be hard on myself about it.
Then you're never going to feel better.
 
Old 07-11-2019, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,582 posts, read 24,180,850 times
Reputation: 49075
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Well Iím the common denominator in my failures so of course Iím gonna be hard on myself about it.
How was it a failure, though? You went on a date, which is good. You learned about what your priorities in a partner are, which is also good. You were up front enough to not string her along for another date, which is good. Don't frame what happened as success or failure. Onward and upward.
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