So I went on a date with a women I wasn’t attracted to and it didn’t go well (ugly, looking)
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I don't when people say "they can't get dates" I feel they're just not trying hard enough, or they're looking in the wrong places.
It’s possible.
In OP’s case, though, dating may be difficult, but clearly something worked for him. That’s what I’d be celebrating. To me the positives would far outweigh the negatives.
Not this date in general but the fact it took years for me to get one message from someone I’m not even attracted to.
Doesn’t bode well for me.
So why are you waiting for a message on a dating site? Go out, do stuff that you like that other people do. Biking, hiking, skiing, or other hobbies. If you have some interest join a club in your community to do that stuff with others. That is how you meet people. It may be a woman there or you may hit it off with people that have single friends. Network.
I’ve tried old and it never worked for me.. couldn’t ever get a response back.. I never deleted my profile but I stayed off it and after a few years I got my first message from a lady.
I knew by her picture I had no physical attraction at all but since I can never get dates I figured why not give it a shot even knowing myself and how my attraction works that this probably would go nowhere.
She was fine as a person had fun taking to her but there was no way I could ever be intimate wit her. She called me and asked for another date I felt bad but I just couldn’t do it. There was no way I could picture even kissing her.
I know how my attraction works and I’d rather be alone the rest of my life then with someone I’m not physically attracted to at all which might be my situation but so be it.
You should always go out with the person whom you are attracted to.Period.It doesn't make sense going out with someone whom you know you're not attracted to.It is wasting your time and their time because of course the one that you're not attracted to is attracted to you and now you have that issue to deal with.There is nothing wrong with dating on attraction.Sometimes it can lead to more or sometimes not but at least you were honest with yourself in whom you're attracted to instead of trying something different.
You know yourself in that aspect so why change it?In order to really get to know someone first..there first must be an attraction toward each other to have a chance in moving forward to get to know more about that person.There are some women who have done the same thing...dating someone they're not attracted to.Don't understand why both sexes tend to do this.
Yes..there are more important things in dating then attraction BUT isn't that a very big part of it?..not the main thing BUT it has to be there in order to get a chance for someone to really let you in to learn more about them.
I’d rather be alone then with someone I’m not attracted to at all who’s “on my level”
I can’t control who I’m attracted to
Apparently for you, they are.
I disagree a little bit with the last sentence. I completely agree that you can't be attracted to everyone, but I think you do have some conscious control over where the line gets drawn with the 'maybe' options. Focusing on the positive (the physical quality you find most attractive about a girl) rather than the negative (the physical qualities you aren't attracted to) can go a long way towards setting realistic standards. Otherwise you can find yourself waiting for perfection.. and you may wait a long time!
I disagree a little bit with the last sentence. I completely agree that you can't be attracted to everyone, but I think you do have some conscious control over where the line gets drawn with the 'maybe' options. Focusing on the positive (the physical quality you find most attractive about a girl) rather than the negative (the physical qualities you aren't attracted to) can go a long way towards setting realistic standards. Otherwise you can find yourself waiting for perfection.. and you may wait a long time!
Oh beleive me I have a pretty diverse taste and I’m not looking for perfection. But there’s some women I just find nothing attractive about physically and can’t make it work.
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