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Old 07-15-2019, 07:52 AM
 
12,146 posts, read 6,734,304 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad View Post
I don't know any older couples like this. BUT I do know several couples in their 30s and 40s who have his and her bedrooms and only share a bed for occasional sex. No way would I be in a relationship like this. You might as well be roommates. I want to fall asleep snuggled up with my partner and wake up with. And in the hellish Northeast winters I want somwone to help keep me warm at night. Lol.
A roommate is a business transaction, but we are talking about committed couples in relationships doing what works for them.

You sound a little needy. Gosh forbid someone needs surgery or gets a severe sleep disorder and you turn into "roommates". I almost got fired once for telling someone to get it together when she threatened divorce because her husband had sleep apnea.

To the OP - you can do any arrangement that works for both of you as far as living together or not, it is irrelevant what anyone else does in their own lives. Be happy, life goes by fast.
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Old 07-15-2019, 08:02 AM
 
6,260 posts, read 2,909,200 times
Reputation: 15896
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Sorry but I like to see that first time posters actually stay here to read and respond before wasting my time replying.
You there Chazcee? Or, rather, here?
I'm with you on this one! I sense a one hit wonder.

Did open up discussion though...so there is that.....
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Old 07-15-2019, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,987 posts, read 5,338,956 times
Reputation: 18113
I live in a 55+ and know many in that age group, including me.

I only know 2 women that wish they were living with someone. I know many that will never live with someone again. The only people that would be interested in living together are usually men that can't do much and need a maid. Men that are controlling. Women that are needy ( I guess some men are too), and those that don't have much of an income.
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Old Yesterday, 05:01 AM
 
Location: Louisville, KY
4 posts, read 711 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Okey Dokie View Post

OP - what’s the relative financial situation between the two of you? If she has much less money, she might just be looking for an upgrade in living arrangements.
Atually in terms of net worth she is much better off financially than myself although my monthly income is higher. If we did live together we would split living costs 50/50
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Old Yesterday, 05:12 AM
 
2,076 posts, read 570,511 times
Reputation: 1356
Quote:
Originally Posted by CHAZCEE View Post
Greetings

I am new to these forums and am a seeker of knowledge in general and in need of some feedback on my current personal situation.

I am a 71 year old, twice divorced male. Back in late December, I was on a senior’s dating site seeking an on-going, intimate, monogamous relationship with a lady. I was contacted by a wonderful 63 year old lady and we immediately hit it off. The great bonus was that she lived only 15 minutes away.

We have been nearly inseparable since our first meeting on 1/15/2019. (We spent the prior two weeks in regular, long and detailed email correspondence.) We have made numerous out of town and out of state trips, have met each other’s families, laugh our asses off every day and enjoy a sex life that a lot of 30 year olds would envy.

With 5 failed marriages between us, we agree that marriage is not a desirable option. I have current family commitments that are an obstacle to using living together and she may be entering such a commitment to her family before winter.

Here is the dilemma:

I have been single and lived alone about ½ of my adult life. On the other hand my O&O (One and only) has been in marriages, even though doomed and/or loveless, the majority of hers.

While I am comfortable with, as we call it, “Separate lives together” or “living together separately” with us overnighting at one’s abode or the other’s two to three nights a week and, of course, when we travel; she says that it feels “weird” to her. She contends that it is very rare for folks our age to not be settled into co-habitation situations.

I contend that it is not as rare as she might think and that a lot of seniors have set immutable living arrangements that lead to sharing love with their partner when circumstances permit. Her reply is, “tell me who.”

So that is my first question on this forum,

“Does anyone out there know of any successful, on-going, committed relationships involving seniors like us where co-habitation is not a current option ?”
Yeah, I just posted about this a couple of days ago, someone corrected me and gave it the acronym (still forgot it lol). But yeah, even married couples do this. I figured at MOSt they'd sleep in separate bedrooms.

Of course, when you get into the senior citizen age, I guess you're so set in your ways that any time spent together for too long would drive both apart. lol

Last edited by ThisTown123; Yesterday at 05:39 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 05:36 AM
 
2,076 posts, read 570,511 times
Reputation: 1356
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
The only people that would be interested in living together are usually men that can't do much and need a maid. Men that are controlling. Women that are needy ( I guess some men are too), and those that don't have much of an income.
Doust judge much? You assume way too much.
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Old Yesterday, 05:39 AM
 
2,234 posts, read 765,943 times
Reputation: 5697
I'm 66 and started dating a 68-year old man last October so it's a bit early- but we've discussed it and have no intention of moving in together. We live a little over an hour apart and met on-line. I love my house and have a full life in this area. He was born and raised in the university town where he lives, is still working there FT and knows half the people in town because he's either defended them in court or refereed their kids' soccer games. I can't imagine him anywhere else and if we bought a new place in the middle we'd both be miserable.

Both of us are happy with things the way they are.
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Old Yesterday, 05:49 AM
 
Location: Louisville, KY
4 posts, read 711 times
Reputation: 17
First I want to thank everyone who took the time to reply and I felt I should give an update on the situation.

Again, I am not against us living together but felt that our circumstances were the problem and “separate lives together” was the best we could do. .

The situation WAS that my 31 year old daughter and I had purchased a house together last year. It is in her name although I provided the funds for the down-payment and move. My one and only had committed to living with her sister and teenage nephews.

It seems fate has intervened, as it often does.

My daughter’s long term boyfriend has “grown up” and they want to start a family together. He is intent on and has the smarts and education to pursue a career as an actuary. He is prepping for the tests right now.

They have an opportunity to live together in a house owned by his parents and are anxious to do so. She will be moving out as early as September.

After spending a few weeks in discussion; my O&O and her sister have decided that their lifestyles are totally incompatible. They cannot and will not be living together.

My O&O and I will start co-habituating here in my Daughter’s house on a trial basis in September when my daughter moves out. If it goes well, as I hope and expect it will, my one and only will move in completely when her apartment lease expires in December.

We will be renting this house from my Daughter with the same rights and responsibilities of any tenants. We will be splitting living expenses 50/50.

As before we are deeply in love, thrive on each other’s company and both feel that we were “meant” to be a couple. We want to make a home filled with family, friends, laughter and love.

Thanks again for your replies
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Old Yesterday, 06:05 AM
 
Location: Louisville, KY
4 posts, read 711 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post

To the OP - you can do any arrangement that works for both of you as far as living together or not, it is irrelevant what anyone else does in their own lives. Be happy, life goes by fast.
A agree. I am always a seeker of knowledge and my intent in the OP was to establish if "separate lives together" was weird at our ages. I did not think it was and the responses on here support that.
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Old Yesterday, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Maryland
1,816 posts, read 587,079 times
Reputation: 4001
Just saw this article which seemed to fit right in with this thread.....

https://www.wsj.com/articles/more-ol...rt-11564311602
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