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Old Today, 01:53 PM
1,196 posts, read 354,710 times
Reputation: 3745


Too late now if she decides to keep the baby, but consider a vasectomy so there won't be any additional accidents with other women. Child support for one will be bad enough.

Old Today, 01:53 PM
Location: Wisconsin
17,052 posts, read 17,361,139 times
Reputation: 41460
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
Itís all about you and what you want, huh.

If having a child is that big of a risk to your future then you shouldnít have been having sex, much less unprotected sex. If you canít take the chance, keep it in your pants.
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Time to grow up. Its called consequences of your actions. Itís her decision, and itís great you are focused on the career, what with the child support and all.
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
You have no say in the decision. Being an azhat is certainly not going to change her mind
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
You should have used a condom.

You cannot force someone to have an abortion.
OP, please reread these great comments.
Old Today, 01:54 PM
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,646 posts, read 33,439,851 times
Reputation: 32369
If you can’t do the time, dammit don’t do the grind. There is no excuse in 2019 for an accidental pregnancy from a woman’s OR man’s end.
Old Today, 01:57 PM
6,208 posts, read 2,868,513 times
Reputation: 15721
Both are accountable for birth control.
Water over the bridge in this case.
Is it confirmed your the sperm donor?

Yes you both get a say ..she gets 95% of the final decision and you get 5% to support whatever decision she makes. Welcome to adulthood.
Old Today, 02:08 PM
2,054 posts, read 865,818 times
Reputation: 5062
I don't know. Start planning for 21 years of child support.
Old Today, 02:13 PM
8 posts
Reputation: 10
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Did you wear a condom?
I was careless. Not trying to point out who's to blame here, that's not the issue.
Old Today, 02:20 PM
Location: Pittsburgh
22,564 posts, read 24,148,016 times
Reputation: 48981
Originally Posted by JoshamTR View Post
I was careless. Not trying to point out who's to blame here, that's not the issue.
It is the issue, though. There are responsibilities in having a FWB--it's not all fun and games. Did you ever discuss with her what your expectations would be if something like this happened? Did you know how she felt about it? Did you know what her birth control methods were?
Old Today, 02:21 PM
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,638 posts, read 4,880,105 times
Reputation: 12538
Originally Posted by JoshamTR View Post
I was careless. Not trying to point out who's to blame here, that's not the issue.
Actually, no that's not how it works. You assigned blame when you got angry with her, you assigned blame when you yelled at her, you assigned blame when you told her to get an abortion. All of this could've been prevented if you wore a condom or at least had some type of birth control agreement with her before you started bumping uglies. Sorry, but you don't get to be angry when you had just as much to do with this as she does. You are a grown 34 year old man, you know how sex works.

What actually happened here is that you were only thinking about your pleasure. You thought you were going to be able to hit it raw, climax, and she'll take care of the rest. Your anger essentially says, "Dammit why couldn't you just let me have my fun in peace?" You don't get to be surprised or tell someone else what to do, when YOU effed up as well. But what's done is done. You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.

This kind of thing is ridiculous. After a certain age, there are no oops babies when it comes to sex. If you don't know how it works, you shouldn't be doing it. The problem is people think they're invincible to these things and when it happens, they don't know how to respond. It's so stupid.
Old Today, 02:22 PM
57 posts, read 6,577 times
Reputation: 88
Well now it is done with, and you have no control over what happens next , perhaps the best thing is to look at the positives.
Old Today, 02:29 PM
Location: Bloomington IN
6,543 posts, read 7,806,331 times
Reputation: 15999
Taking responsibility for your actions is called being an adult. Admittedly you were careless.

You do not get to decide what she does with her body. Your career goals of no importance here.
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