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Old Today, 02:46 PM
 
8 posts
Reputation: 10

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Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
Your career goals of no importance here.
They can be ruined. Of course they're of great importance.

 
Old Today, 02:47 PM
 
8 posts
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I take it from how you are taking about it, that you have never wanted children?
Never thought much about it, to be honest. Children require a dedication that I'm not able to give. And I don't think I would be much good to one.
 
Old Today, 02:48 PM
 
57 posts, read 6,577 times
Reputation: 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoshamTR View Post
They can be ruined. Of course they're of great importance.
Of course career is important, too.

It might just be that you're forced to bring a bit of balance into the equation. Most people can balance career with having a child.

Why do you feel it will ruin your career?
 
Old Today, 02:50 PM
 
57 posts, read 6,577 times
Reputation: 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoshamTR View Post
Never thought much about it, to be honest. Children require a dedication that I'm not able to give. And I don't think I would be much good to one.
Assuming you're not going to be the primary caregiver, I don't think it would require as much dedication as you think.

Interested to know why you think you'll be no good to a child. If she goes ahead with this pregnancy and you choose to be involved maybe you will grow in ways you didn't expect and be a good dad.
 
Old Today, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,130 posts, read 45,641,400 times
Reputation: 61779
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
It is the issue, though. There are responsibilities in having a FWB--it's not all fun and games. Did you ever discuss with her what your expectations would be if something like this happened? Did you know how she felt about it? Did you know what her birth control methods were?
Discuss expectations with her? He’s practically too busy to even dine with her. Wham bam.........
 
Old Today, 02:54 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,882 posts, read 20,166,115 times
Reputation: 12422
Since when do unwanted children get in the way of a man’s career?

I hope you apologize to the mother and reevaluate the kind of role model you want to be. Plenty of men do a fantastic job, even if caught by surprise. My dad is one of them.
 
Old Today, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,543 posts, read 7,806,331 times
Reputation: 15999
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoshamTR View Post
They can be ruined. Of course they're of great importance.
Let me rephrase that: your career goals are irrelevant in her decision making process.
 
Old Today, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,290 posts, read 41,861,706 times
Reputation: 83174
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoshamTR View Post
Never thought much about it, to be honest. Children require a dedication that I'm not able to give. And I don't think I would be much good to one.
Just forfeit your parental rights when she has the baby.
 
Old Today, 03:31 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,739 posts, read 70,579,935 times
Reputation: 76715
OP, you asked, "Why?" There can be a number of reasons. Religious conviction, feeling a bond with the zygote/fetus, emotional issues. If she's able to schedule the procedure soon after finding out, assuming she found out within the first month or so, it's pretty easy. They don't even call it an "abortion". But it sounds like she doesn't want that. How's she going to support herself, while caring for an infant? Having a baby is no walk in the park, either.
 
Old Today, 03:39 PM
 
8 posts
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post

Why do you feel it will ruin your career?
Children are a source of worries and problems in general. It's not the child support, really. Fortunately, I can afford it and even if I was in a relationship with the mother and we decided to have a child, I would have to pay regardless.

It's just that you have to raise them, they get sick, etc. All of that can make you less available for your career.
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