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Old 07-15-2019, 08:36 PM
 
397 posts, read 139,216 times
Reputation: 89

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I'm a male and a loner. I had friends a while ago but haven't been in contact with them since. Im also in a country where i dont know much ppl... more so due to the language but me not interacting socially. Now i know there are many loners out there... thus when i think of a loner, i think of a male.



I'm curious but are there much female loners out there? Now the bigger question is... are there attractive women that are loners or have very few friends? I always thought if a girl is very attractive or attractive but she is somewhat a loner, there must be something wrong about her. Because if is she is attractive, she would have lot of friends of guys trying to talk to them etc. But when i look at males, its like there are a ton of males out there that are good looking but are shy and introverted and loners so to speak.



But what do regular women think about guys like that? If they are not attractive and weird/nerdish guy, well okay that is the reason. But what they are very good looking... but they have little or no friends? I seen posts and threads a while back where you see some guys post about this and how women think they are attractive... but they are loner or no social skill or things like that. How does one function if its like that?



But are hot female loners very rare? If its a guy and they are attractive, i would just thought well he just doesn't have social skills and or shy etc. But if its a female... i would think, something is wrong. Do you agree/disagree on this?



I mean think of someone like olivia wilde or summer glau but imagine they are very shy. I thought summer glau is good example because she always plays one of those sci fi girls etc. But let say it was someone that looks like a victoria secret model but she doesnt have much friends and stays at home a lot and a loner. Is that even possible?



Now if you are a male loner, how does one fix the issue assuming you are at least okay in terms of looks? What if you are in your 30s or older? That is much tougher than in your 20s since well by your 30s, most have a family already or married. I always read that they say women find guys who are very attractive but they don't know they are attractive to very hot. Do most agree with this? Now what if its a hot girl that doesn't know they are very hot. I mean just imagine olivia wilde or summer glau and they are shy and like to stay at home and watch a movie as oppose to having a night out in the town with someone or friends.
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Old 07-15-2019, 08:43 PM
 
187 posts, read 31,680 times
Reputation: 356
I've always been a loner (female) and am considered attractive by men (at the risk of sounding immodest). I'd like to be in a relationship. I have a couple of close friends but not too many. I'm a huge introvert, I think that's the main reason for preferring my own company.
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Old 07-15-2019, 09:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,512 posts, read 42,049,720 times
Reputation: 83646
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericjustin2 View Post
I'm a male and a loner. I had friends a while ago but haven't been in contact with them since. Im also in a country where i dont know much ppl... more so due to the language but me not interacting socially. Now i know there are many loners out there... thus when i think of a loner, i think of a male.



I'm curious but are there much female loners out there? Now the bigger question is... are there attractive women that are loners or have very few friends? I always thought if a girl is very attractive or attractive but she is somewhat a loner, there must be something wrong about her. Because if is she is attractive, she would have lot of friends of guys trying to talk to them etc. But when i look at males, its like there are a ton of males out there that are good looking but are shy and introverted and loners so to speak.



But what do regular women think about guys like that? If they are not attractive and weird/nerdish guy, well okay that is the reason. But what they are very good looking... but they have little or no friends? I seen posts and threads a while back where you see some guys post about this and how women think they are attractive... but they are loner or no social skill or things like that. How does one function if its like that?



But are hot female loners very rare? If its a guy and they are attractive, i would just thought well he just doesn't have social skills and or shy etc. But if its a female... i would think, something is wrong. Do you agree/disagree on this?



I mean think of someone like olivia wilde or summer glau but imagine they are very shy. I thought summer glau is good example because she always plays one of those sci fi girls etc. But let say it was someone that looks like a victoria secret model but she doesnt have much friends and stays at home a lot and a loner. Is that even possible?



Now if you are a male loner, how does one fix the issue assuming you are at least okay in terms of looks? What if you are in your 30s or older? That is much tougher than in your 20s since well by your 30s, most have a family already or married. I always read that they say women find guys who are very attractive but they don't know they are attractive to very hot. Do most agree with this? Now what if its a hot girl that doesn't know they are very hot. I mean just imagine olivia wilde or summer glau and they are shy and like to stay at home and watch a movie as oppose to having a night out in the town with someone or friends.
Having beauty that is an accident of nature isn't a guarantee of popularity.

At the same time, there's a reason a synonym of beautiful (besides "hot") is attractive. They do manage to attract attention and favor, lessening the chance that there are hot loners hanging out at home, waiting for a mate. Improbable, not impossible.

You don't happen to watch a lot of porn, do you eric?
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Old 07-15-2019, 09:10 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,668 posts, read 4,905,319 times
Reputation: 12596
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericjustin2 View Post
I'm a male and a loner. I had friends a while ago but haven't been in contact with them since. Im also in a country where i dont know much ppl... more so due to the language but me not interacting socially. Now i know there are many loners out there... thus when i think of a loner, i think of a male.



I'm curious but are there much female loners out there? Now the bigger question is... are there attractive women that are loners or have very few friends? I always thought if a girl is very attractive or attractive but she is somewhat a loner, there must be something wrong about her. Because if is she is attractive, she would have lot of friends of guys trying to talk to them etc. But when i look at males, its like there are a ton of males out there that are good looking but are shy and introverted and loners so to speak.



But what do regular women think about guys like that? If they are not attractive and weird/nerdish guy, well okay that is the reason. But what they are very good looking... but they have little or no friends? I seen posts and threads a while back where you see some guys post about this and how women think they are attractive... but they are loner or no social skill or things like that. How does one function if its like that?



But are hot female loners very rare? If its a guy and they are attractive, i would just thought well he just doesn't have social skills and or shy etc. But if its a female... i would think, something is wrong. Do you agree/disagree on this?



I mean think of someone like olivia wilde or summer glau but imagine they are very shy. I thought summer glau is good example because she always plays one of those sci fi girls etc. But let say it was someone that looks like a victoria secret model but she doesnt have much friends and stays at home a lot and a loner. Is that even possible?



Now if you are a male loner, how does one fix the issue assuming you are at least okay in terms of looks? What if you are in your 30s or older? That is much tougher than in your 20s since well by your 30s, most have a family already or married. I always read that they say women find guys who are very attractive but they don't know they are attractive to very hot. Do most agree with this? Now what if its a hot girl that doesn't know they are very hot. I mean just imagine olivia wilde or summer glau and they are shy and like to stay at home and watch a movie as oppose to having a night out in the town with someone or friends.
The bolded irks my nerves for a few reasons:

- It implies that someone who is not surrounded by people or has a lot of friends is defective in some kind of way.
- It implies that just because a lot of people talk to her, they are automatically her friends and she owes them some kind of opportunity to get close to her.
- It implies she doesn't have a brain of her own and she should just accept whatever company comes her way.
- It implies she is only worth what she can give other people. In this case, her friendship or something more intimate.
- It implies that any attention she gets is good attention, which is not always the case.

As woman who is considered a loner (I only have two best friends and I'm single) and is considered generally attractive to many people, stuff like that irritates me. It doesn't allow the person to define who they are and it takes away their ability to choose how they want to live their lives. For me, I stay to myself because: I don't make connections with others often, most people I've met didn't really add to my life or were mediocre at best, I enjoy my own company, less distractions, and I don't believe it should be a duty to go out and make relationships happen.

It sounds like you're living in a bubble and need to get out more.
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Old 07-16-2019, 01:11 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,145 posts, read 12,898,188 times
Reputation: 31571
i am a loner. I never get bored with myself and I don't argue with myself either - it is very peaceful . I do have friends, very good friends but don't need to see them all the time and if we don't talk for a few months that's fine, too.

In which country are you in now?
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Old 07-16-2019, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
5,668 posts, read 5,957,170 times
Reputation: 6516
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Having beauty that is an accident of nature isn't a guarantee of popularity.

At the same time, there's a reason a synonym of beautiful (besides "hot") is attractive. They do manage to attract attention and favor, lessening the chance that there are hot loners hanging out at home, waiting for a mate. Improbable, not impossible.

You don't happen to watch a lot of porn, do you eric?
Beauty is an accident of nature, err... not sure if I can agree with that one. While itís true you have to have the right genetics thatís like saying being very wealthy is an accident of high IQ. Lots of people who are incredibly smart never do much with it. I was not whatsoever attractive in high school. It took hard work to get there, it wasnít some genetic gift, and it takes hard work to stay there. Everything from LASIK to ditch the glasses, laser hair removal to have nice eyebrows not a partial unibrow - 8 appointments and then it never came back, two oral surgeries (wisdom teeth and gum replacement) so I could get Invisalign and straight teeth, a surprisingly painful tooth whitening appointment, and many long, hard hours at the gym to pack on 45 pounds of muscle. I wasnít born good looking; it was through hard work, dedication, and frankly a lot of pain that I sculpted myself into what I became. Genetics may be necessary but itís not sufficient.
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Old 07-16-2019, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,518 posts, read 8,182,383 times
Reputation: 5203
I'm female. I have a longtime boyfriend (who's now my fiance'), but if it weren't for him, I'd have no other friends. I never had many friends in my whole life. That's just how things went. I'm an only child, so I was never around many people or those my own age.

I have a female cousin who never really had many friends throughout her life either. Her & I probably had about the same # of friends as each other.
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Old 07-16-2019, 07:29 PM
 
704 posts, read 312,442 times
Reputation: 390
Looks like we're all loners. I have a friend from HS I go to movies with from time to time. But his wife's battling cancer, so that's come to a halt. Other than that, I stay to myself.
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Old 07-16-2019, 08:13 PM
 
5,227 posts, read 2,794,613 times
Reputation: 9613
I tend to not like people in general but I associate and fraternize for my wife’s sake and my careers sake. I also tend to prefer being around people 10-30 years older than me.

I have very little in common with my generation and even less respect for them.
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Old 07-16-2019, 08:27 PM
 
218 posts, read 400,429 times
Reputation: 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
The bolded irks my nerves for a few reasons:

- It implies that someone who is not surrounded by people or has a lot of friends is defective in some kind of way.
- It implies that just because a lot of people talk to her, they are automatically her friends and she owes them some kind of opportunity to get close to her.
- It implies she doesn't have a brain of her own and she should just accept whatever company comes her way.
- It implies she is only worth what she can give other people. In this case, her friendship or something more intimate.
- It implies that any attention she gets is good attention, which is not always the case.

As woman who is considered a loner (I only have two best friends and I'm single) and is considered generally attractive to many people, stuff like that irritates me. It doesn't allow the person to define who they are and it takes away their ability to choose how they want to live their lives. For me, I stay to myself because: I don't make connections with others often, most people I've met didn't really add to my life or were mediocre at best, I enjoy my own company, less distractions, and I don't believe it should be a duty to go out and make relationships happen.

It sounds like you're living in a bubble and need to get out more.
I liked this post by you, but lotsa loners are mediocre darlin, jus sayin...but I agree with you, we should get out more, though. I have my moments when I could really use some help, but no one's there. Don't wind up like me folks, jus sayin...
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