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Old Yesterday, 09:11 PM
 
17,319 posts, read 10,225,457 times
Reputation: 28846

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Notice the sympathetic angle they put on cheating here.

Man or woman, anyone that cheats has no business being in any relationship.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/reas...220719320.html

Quote:
In conducting her research, Walker was surprised to learn that a lot of the women that she interviewed were interested in the prospect of an open marriage.

“They don’t want to leave their husband, they love their husband, they’ve got a great life, but what they really want is variety in their sexual partners,” she says. “It’s not just, ‘Oh, I want my husband, and I want this one affair,’ it’s: ‘I want my husband and I want to taste all the parts of the menu!’ ”

Additionally, she discovered that women who cheat see it as an exercise in power. The socially accepted norm when it comes to coupling is that the man asks the woman out, the man pays for dinner, the man proposes marriage. While the ideas behind these traditions may be chivalrous, Walker says that the women she spoke to eventually felt confined by them.

“They always felt like they had been chosen, rather than choosing themselves,” she says. “And then they go online to Ashley Madison, or any other site, and there’s all these men, and now they’re choosing rather than being chosen.”

In the end, attentiveness is the key. When you’re with your spouse, Walker says it’s vital to make sure you’re thinking of her needs as well as your own.

 
Old Yesterday, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
14,813 posts, read 12,268,470 times
Reputation: 26257
Basically, the same reasons men cheat on their wives. People can and do learn from their bad decisions.
 
Old Yesterday, 10:34 PM
 
706 posts, read 181,596 times
Reputation: 939
Quote:
“Any man who is concerned about this,” she says, “you should really start looking at your own behavior in the bedroom and really make sure that you’re holding up your end of the table."
Wow. Cheating is an act of deception and betrayal. Period. Blaming one's bad behavior on someone else is as old as sin (and that can be either rhetorical or literal). I detest this caught-cookie-jar finger-pointing. But it seems like these days any time there is sexual disharmony, it's the man's fault in society's eyes.



Wife cheats? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed and makes her want to look elsewhere.
Wife won't have sex? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed, and is probably asking at stupid times.
Wife isn't sexually fulfilled? Man's fault, he's bad in bed and isn't caring about her needs. (This one is probably accurate, though.)
Man isn't sexually fulfilled? That dog, pressuring his wife to do things she clearly doesn't want to do.
Man cheats? That dog, how dare he?
Man won't have sex? What, is he defective or something?
 
Old Yesterday, 11:22 PM
 
2,031 posts, read 554,269 times
Reputation: 1307
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
Wow. Cheating is an act of deception and betrayal. Period. Blaming one's bad behavior on someone else is as old as sin (and that can be either rhetorical or literal). I detest this caught-cookie-jar finger-pointing. But it seems like these days any time there is sexual disharmony, it's the man's fault in society's eyes.



Wife cheats? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed and makes her want to look elsewhere.
Wife won't have sex? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed, and is probably asking at stupid times.
Wife isn't sexually fulfilled? Man's fault, he's bad in bed and isn't caring about her needs. (This one is probably accurate, though.)
Man isn't sexually fulfilled? That dog, pressuring his wife to do things she clearly doesn't want to do.
Man cheats? That dog, how dare he?
Man won't have sex? What, is he defective or something?
Yeah, I never understood how anyone could put the onus or blame on the person being cheated on. It's quite laughable.
 
Old Today, 12:37 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,809 posts, read 7,715,872 times
Reputation: 15100
Actually, from the Bible I learned that the purpose of marriage is to stop sexual immorality/cheating. And God intends for the person with the lower lubido, to satisfy the high libido half of the marriage. So yes, each half of the marriage is partly resonsible for adultery, if their other half is sexually starving.
 
Old Today, 03:40 AM
 
Location: around
687 posts, read 237,947 times
Reputation: 614
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
Wow. Cheating is an act of deception and betrayal. Period. Blaming one's bad behavior on someone else is as old as sin (and that can be either rhetorical or literal). I detest this caught-cookie-jar finger-pointing. But it seems like these days any time there is sexual disharmony, it's the man's fault in society's eyes.



Wife cheats? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed and makes her want to look elsewhere.
Wife won't have sex? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed, and is probably asking at stupid times.
Wife isn't sexually fulfilled? Man's fault, he's bad in bed and isn't caring about her needs. (This one is probably accurate, though.)
Man isn't sexually fulfilled? That dog, pressuring his wife to do things she clearly doesn't want to do.
Man cheats? That dog, how dare he?
Man won't have sex? What, is he defective or something?



Yep , bout sums it up.
The one l really love is ohhhh, then she'd been checked out for years then.
So somehow that's suppose to be oh, ok then.
And that's he's fault anyway and it's all just fine that she didn't talk about the marriage years ago then or didn't try to work the marriage out years ago then, instead she stayed in the marriage even though knowing she'd been checked out for years ,cunningly did and said nothing, until someone else comes along.
 
Old Today, 05:44 AM
 
Location: Hockey Rulez, Texas
783 posts, read 254,229 times
Reputation: 1236
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
Wow. Cheating is an act of deception and betrayal. Period. Blaming one's bad behavior on someone else is as old as sin (and that can be either rhetorical or literal). I detest this caught-cookie-jar finger-pointing. But it seems like these days any time there is sexual disharmony, it's the man's fault in society's eyes.



Wife cheats? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed and makes her want to look elsewhere.
Wife won't have sex? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed, and is probably asking at stupid times.
Wife isn't sexually fulfilled? Man's fault, he's bad in bed and isn't caring about her needs. (This one is probably accurate, though.)
Man isn't sexually fulfilled? That dog, pressuring his wife to do things she clearly doesn't want to do.
Man cheats? That dog, how dare he?
Man won't have sex? What, is he defective or something?
Great post. 100% agree.

Cheating is just 1 thing I can never forgive, End the relationship BEFORE you cheat.
 
Old Today, 06:15 AM
 
5,189 posts, read 2,771,664 times
Reputation: 9512
So now we're interjecting identity politics into marriages and the bedroom on cheating. I really think this cultural shift is unhealthy for us all and will be turning us into worse people.



I love my wife very much but if I were to cheat or she were to cheat the reason would be just as unjustifiable regardless of which gender was doing it.
 
Old Today, 06:59 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,042 posts, read 55,833,861 times
Reputation: 89830
Married people cheat for plenty of reasons, but not loving their spouse is rarely one of them. When a spouse cheats it's rarely about the partner and doesn't mean they are unhappy, or because of their spouse look or personality. Very often the person they cheat with isn't really desirable, or smarter, or richer, or better looking...

They might cheat because they are in a process of self-discovery, especially those who married their first partner or married in a very young age.
They might cheat not because they are planned it, but because they got the opportunity, the momentary temptation. A temptation and opportunity often make people do things they normally wouldn't do.
They might cheat because they are insecure about themselves and need some sort of reassurance outside their marriage.

In contrary what most people think, cheating very often isn't directed to hurt the partner or display unhappiness - it could be a sign of confusion about self. Sometimes it's just about nostalgia for unlived lives, unexplored identities, and roads not taken...

Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, yet this extremely common act remains poorly understood.

Apparently, people who cheat can't be helped much and spying on them, stalking, emotionally manipulating, controlling, isolating, verbally or physically abusing doesn't work particularly well.
If anything works, it's emphasizing love and caring, being a good provider, keeping up your physical appearance, and other behaviors that happy and healthy couples engage in, regardless of the threat of infidelity.


There is an interesting essay. Maybe if you read it, it will help to understand cheating at least a little bit? It surely will shed a different light into it...
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...-cheat/537882/.
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Old Today, 07:31 AM
Status: "What's 100 minus 48 plus 5?" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
8,070 posts, read 3,165,147 times
Reputation: 14567
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post

Wife cheats? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed and makes her want to look elsewhere.
Wife won't have sex? Man's fault, he must be bad in bed, and is probably asking at stupid times.
Wife isn't sexually fulfilled? Man's fault, he's bad in bed and isn't caring about her needs. (This one is probably accurate, though.)
Man isn't sexually fulfilled? That dog, pressuring his wife to do things she clearly doesn't want to do.
Man cheats? That dog, how dare he?
Man won't have sex? What, is he defective or something?
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