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Old 07-24-2019, 07:43 PM
 
18 posts, read 3,849 times
Reputation: 24

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To Wasel (I'm so new I don't know how to quote, sorry): you are right: it is "messed up". My boyfriend should be a partner, and care about my pain. But he does not care about children. He said he did until we found out the doctor was lying to us: at that point, when IVF was the only choice... I knew what was closer to his heart ($). So not only was I fooled by the doc, but by my man. Made me sick to my stomach. So if it's taking me a while to "jump ship", it's because single would-be-moms get bad treatment (doctors, courts, etc..) unless they have a 6 figure income++, which I do not. I won't wash my dirty laundry here, but feel he OWES me to play pretend hubby just a while longer. I was 31 when this charade started; if either one of these 2 men would have been truthful... I'd be a mom now, be it alone. I could have changed doc or boyfriend, but I can't fix the past. Only the future. Sorry if it seems undignified to you.
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Old 07-24-2019, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,915 posts, read 3,801,405 times
Reputation: 20217
Quote:
Originally Posted by waanaabe View Post
To And to the person that suggested it to: I'm adopted. It's not recommended for adoptees. And really... I doubt there is a soul alive that does not know the option exists.
This. Everyone knows that adoption exists. that it is an option that can be pursued, if the person so desires. That's why it's patronizing to lecture people about adoption.
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Old 07-24-2019, 10:12 PM
 
Location: Central Illinois -
21,737 posts, read 14,468,680 times
Reputation: 14917
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Good to know, and that is my reason for wanting a woman 10-15 years younger. It ain't easy at all finding it.
It is if you move overseas. Don't you want to get out of where you live anyway? You're not getting any younger.
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Old 07-25-2019, 12:20 AM
 
775 posts, read 454,466 times
Reputation: 675
adopt.

Of course it can be costly. So can having a child naturally or through IVF, etc. Nobody said it would be cheap or free like picking a quarter off the ground.
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Old 07-25-2019, 02:46 AM
 
Location: around
726 posts, read 248,545 times
Reputation: 651
l was 40 when we had my daughter , l would've liked more but my w couldn't.
My sister was 44 l think, her h was 51.
lf it's any consolation l know a few guys 40s that still hold a slim hope of meeting the right woman and having a family.
There's a few in this forum actually, sound like good guys.
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Old 07-25-2019, 06:09 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,528 posts, read 4,340,783 times
Reputation: 5325
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post
l was 40 when we had my daughter , l would've liked more but my w couldn't.
My sister was 44 l think, her h was 51.
lf it's any consolation l know a few guys 40s that still hold a slim hope of meeting the right woman and having a family.
There's a few in this forum actually, sound like good guys.
Yep. I live in the twilight zone where women only want men who drive trucks and have beards.
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Old 07-25-2019, 06:10 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,528 posts, read 4,340,783 times
Reputation: 5325
Quote:
Originally Posted by odanny View Post
It is if you move overseas. Don't you want to get out of where you live anyway? You're not getting any younger.
Oh sure, what a simple solution. Why don't I just pack up now?
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Old 07-25-2019, 06:24 AM
 
3,247 posts, read 1,708,568 times
Reputation: 8984
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
This. Everyone knows that adoption exists. that it is an option that can be pursued, if the person so desires. That's why it's patronizing to lecture people about adoption.

I don't understand -- who was lecturing? The SWFL guy said one line about pursuing it. In my experience, IVF (which the OP wants) is the thing that gets tossed around as a simple solution and it is definitely not. Many docs are more than happy to take your money even though they KNOW it won't work. My gyn is said that women are so often mislead about what is possible. Yet I don't see anyone here talking about how mentally stressful and heartbreaking IVF treatments are.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Yep. I live in the twilight zone where women only want men who drive trucks and have beards.

ATLguy, I know you're frustrated but you really need to stop being so negative about it. You have options.
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Old 07-25-2019, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,528 posts, read 4,340,783 times
Reputation: 5325
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
ATLguy, I know you're frustrated but you really need to stop being so negative about it. You have options.
Frustrated doesn't even begin to describe it. Resigned is more like it at this point. The option is to move, but thats no walk in the park. It requires a long distance job search which hasn't worked out over the last several years.
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Old 07-25-2019, 11:15 AM
 
775 posts, read 454,466 times
Reputation: 675
^ yup

well certain things in life have a timeline on it, and this is one of them. the older you get, the tougher your options become. it's like that keg stand I never got to do freshman year in college, that time in my life is never coming around again. no sense crying over the past, weigh your options realistically and move forward.
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