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I'm 40 y. o. white man and I'm searching for woman 28-38. My experience talks me that woman must be younger then man in long term relationship like family. But it's difficult get any suitable not divorced and without children.
I thought it was a cohort of the Boomer generation, that made having kids at 40+ normal. I remember reading about a phenom called the "double baby boom" in the 80's some time, that was about two generations having kids at the same time: 20-somethings and also 40-somethings were both starting families at the same time. I have a friend who was in her early 60's when she sent her youngest off to college.
Where do you live, OP, that people were weirded out, that 40-somethings would have kids? Maybe it's an alien concept in more traditional parts of the US?
Well, from what I've seen online, some people do feel threatened by 40+ people having kids, or even getting married. In their narrow little minds, only people in their 20s should be "allowed" do to these things. I am an older mom and I've gotten weird comments from some people, including one woman friend who keeps going on and on about how she "could never be an older mom."
Haven't been following the thread, but an old friend of mine just announced her pregnancy on fb a few days ago. She is 42, and a very successful college prof. My wife and I are sooo happy for her and her hubby.
I had children quite young and am soon to become a grandmother at age 39. I am also about to remarry and my fiance and I have discussed the possibility of having our own child. We love the idea but realize it isn't very practical. We really don't want to be paying for college when we retire!
These are just your opinions. My husband is in his 50s with young kids. He's not out trying to date women because he's married. A person in their 50s is not elderly. He isn't stooped over using a cane to get around at this point. It's not like that. Grown kids "out of the house" can be just as much a burden as little ones, anyway. How many adult kids these days live with their parents? Quite a few.
I'm okay with adult kids, even if they are living at home. They just need to be old enough so they can be left at home. At an age where they want to be independent and not have mom/dad around all the time. Usually is when they themselves had garnered an interest in the opposite sex.
If they can operate a microwave and drive a car, that means they have kids old enough for me to date. But...hey that's my personal preference. Usually when I am corresponding with a woman online, I ask her kid's ages. If she's 50 years old and has a 5 year old, it's a deal breaker.
THis is what I was driving at. If they are old enough to cut their own meat, wipe their own butts, and have girlfriends/boyfriends, then I can see dating the mother.
I had children quite young and am soon to become a grandmother at age 39. I am also about to remarry and my fiance and I have discussed the possibility of having our own child. We love the idea but realize it isn't very practical. We really don't want to be paying for college when we retire!
Or you could put some away now and let it ride for 18 years. You plan for college when the kid is born not when they are in high school.
Or you could put some away now and let it ride for 18 years. You plan for college when the kid is born not when they are in high school.
Quote:
We really don't want to be paying for college when we retire!
Yep, the woman that I was getting to know, 50 years old, has a 6 year old boy (via her 2nd marriage) and a 25 year old daughter (via her first). Of course, the 2nd, now ex-husband, wanted a kid as he never had one.
So you have a 25 year old big sister, and a 6 year old little brother. I would imagine that if they are seen together, that 100% of anyone that encounters her with her brother they'd think, "Aw, your son is so cute!" So imagine her having the awkwardness of having to correct people all the time.
Anyways, the mother is still funding her daughter's law school, so she has practically zeroed out her bank account with those funds , and now has a 6 year old? When he turns 16, she'll be 60. Legal adult, age 62. Then....she'll be working her arse off funding her kid's college.
So much for retirement, she'll be working herself into the grave.
Yep, the woman that I was getting to know, 50 years old, has a 6 year old boy (via her 2nd marriage) and a 25 year old daughter (via her first). Of course, the 2nd, now ex-husband, wanted a kid as he never had one.
So you have a 25 year old big sister, and a 6 year old little brother. I would imagine that if they are seen together, that 100% of anyone that encounters her with her brother they'd think, "Aw, your son is so cute!" So imagine her having the awkwardness of having to correct people all the time.
Anyways, the mother is still funding her daughter's law school, so she has practically zeroed out her bank account with those funds , and now has a 6 year old? When he turns 16, she'll be 60. Legal adult, age 62. Then....she'll be working her arse off funding her kid's college.
So much for retirement, she'll be working herself into the grave.
This is anecdotal only. Lots of older parents have it better off financially because they are older. Not all of them have adult children at the same time as having young children. Not all of them finance law school or professional school. I'm an older parent and my kid's college is taken care of through 529 plans. I don't "work my arse off" the money works for me in these investments. As for law school, I wouldn't support my kids doing something that foolish, anyway. I would urge them to go into more sensible careers with real job opportunities. And I only plan to cover their 4 years of college, not for someone to be a professional student.
I am personally very glad I was never a young, single mother trying to find a man in a competitive dating market. So I'm glad I didn't have kids young, then wind up single.
So you see why I am at a loss for where to place an ad. Even here, ppl are more interested in explaining their own life choices or judge mine then thinking about my premise "where do ppl in there 40 should look for ppl in the same boat. Have an idea?
But they exist! in fact a lot of never married women were "dumped" because of infertility: so, capable of normal relationships but... I stated to want children at 31. I'm really not a dating app type. I don't know where to look where quick hookups aren't the standard deal. Do you know?
Last edited by waanaabe; 07-20-2019 at 07:17 PM..
Reason: typos
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But...hey that's my personal preference. Usually when I am corresponding with a woman online, I ask her kid's ages. If she's 50 years old and has a 5 year old, it's a deal breaker.
