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Old Yesterday, 08:29 AM
141 posts, read 23,773 times
Reputation: 232


You don't bother with a person who's too busy to connect. They're saying they don't have time for you.
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Old Yesterday, 08:36 AM
Location: SoCal again
16,133 posts, read 12,869,357 times
Reputation: 31522
Originally Posted by optimisticStar View Post

We have been talking over the phone mainly, on and off for last 3 weeks. On the first day, I learnt that he doesn't remember we connecting 7 years back and doing video chat. I reminded him everything and showed him the messages he had sent me. Also got to know that he lost his dad 3 months back and his mom is staying alone back in our home country. So, he says he likes me and wants to come meet me next month. He is very excited to connect back and says feels like destiny wanted us to meet again.

But problem is, he isn't spending much time with me. He mostly talks 10-15mins while driving from somewhere and will end the call once he reaches home. Only on Saturdays we talk for 30-45mins. He goes out with his roomies for entire day on weekends, watches sports for whole night and will sleep whole day over the weekend, so on Sunday no time for me other than 10-15mins. He is at a senior position at work now, so he says work keeps him super busy and he is spending more time talking to his mom, which I understand. Whenever he is free at home, he doesn't want to talk since his roomies are around and don't want them to hear us talking (he stays with 2 guys and he has shared their names and pics with me) and few times he did talk from home while they were around, but was just for a min or two and will behave as if I am just some regular friend. 2 weeks back we decided to meet last July-early August and he was gonna buy flight tickets as he doesn't like driving. Ticket prices hiked and he hasn't bought it yet, when I reminded him about it past weekend, he said he will buy it later or will drive if prices goes up.

We argued couple of times in last week, as I wanted to know why he just calls me for 10-15mins and mostly only while driving. He got annoyed thinking I am complaining and behaved as if I am being too needy. He talked for additional 5 mins in front of his roomies on Sunday, but after that since last 3 days, he just sends 1-2 texts (more like breadcrumbs) but doesn't call at all. I responded to his texts on Monday and yesterday, but not yet today as I am a bit annoyed and frustrated. Me calling him is also not an option since he wouldn't want to talk from home or while he is in office.

I understand he lost his dad, but what I don't understand is why would he be interested in connecting when he has no time or interest to talk. How can I deal with someone who is so busy? He is going to our home country end of next month to spend time with his mom and is going to stay there for 2-3 months.
I am confused. Why does everyone say he isn't making time for you? You talk to him several times a week, at least 10-15 minutes and then Saturdays 30-45 minutes? Isn't that enough?

Do you want him to leave work, call you and be on the phone with you every evening all evening? Don't you have a life, hobbies, errands, friends, chores ....??

My bf calls me every day and we chat for a few minutes and that's it. We also hang up once we reach our destination because despite dating, we also have a life. And I would not want to talk to him in front of roomies either. I would find it very annoying to spend all my free time on phone calls.
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Old Today, 12:16 PM
Location: Jupiter
9,963 posts, read 6,156,389 times
Reputation: 7870
My wife was a single mom and divorced when I met her.

Sure, she was busy but she still made time for me.

My point? People make time for those they're interested in.
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