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Old 07-18-2019, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Florida
19,839 posts, read 19,937,680 times
Reputation: 23281

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Quote:
Originally Posted by KenCopeland View Post
Thank you for saying that, as I'm seeing some responses above already with this energy that I am some bastard..
Might be because of what you really think of her and the fact that she's the one finally leaving when you're the one that should have done so long ago rather than stringing here along..
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Old 07-18-2019, 09:11 AM
 
7,464 posts, read 2,951,572 times
Reputation: 12390
Where would I find a guy who never snores or has b.o.? Must not ever put in a hard day, wow. Not alive. It sounds like you’re picking on very trivial human qualities to make a decision, like she got comfortable enough to fart around you without make up on.

Yes, do “let her go” especially since she’s leaving.
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Old 07-18-2019, 09:12 AM
 
112 posts, read 24,893 times
Reputation: 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Might be because of what you really think of her and the fact that she's the one finally leaving when you're the one that should have done so long ago rather than stringing here along..

Wow, that's a heaping pile of judgment here based on very little information. Trust me, she was treated very well and had I felt at any point there was no hope, I would had ended it that second.
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Old 07-18-2019, 09:14 AM
 
112 posts, read 24,893 times
Reputation: 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Where would I find a guy who never snores or has b.o.? Must not ever put in a hard day, wow. Not alive. It sounds like you’re picking on very trivial human qualities to make a decision, like she got comfortable enough to fart around you without make up on.

The fundamental problem was, I didn't truly enjoy being around her or felt like I could be myself.
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Old 07-18-2019, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Hartford CT
1,852 posts, read 2,053,490 times
Reputation: 3298
If you weren't feeling you weren't feeling it. You're the one that was in the relationship, and who she wanted to be with, not anybody on this forum responding or anyone else. And if you didn't want to be there for ANY reason, then it was best for you two to move on. I am not going to give you any slack, because it would make me a hypocrite, as I have been in that same position, and women have been in that same position with me. Maybe there really isn't a connection, maybe you're not ready for a relationship with ANYONE, only one who can figure out that out is you. My advice is to take some time and do some self reflection on what really works for you and go from there.
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Old 07-18-2019, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Florida
19,839 posts, read 19,937,680 times
Reputation: 23281
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenCopeland View Post
Wow, that's a heaping pile of judgment here based on very little information. Trust me, she was treated very well and had I felt at any point there was no hope, I would had ended it that second.
You treated her very well, just didn't like being around her.
Yeah right! Go read your own OP again
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Old 07-18-2019, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,433 posts, read 41,976,963 times
Reputation: 83438
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenCopeland View Post

Trust me, she was treated very well and had I felt at any point there was no hope, I would had ended it that second.
She was treated very well ... so why is SHE leaving?

You're allowed to not want someone. But kvetching about her in the face of your own "stagnation, aloofness and inability to move forward" shows a staggering lack of self-awareness.
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Old 07-18-2019, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Hartford CT
1,852 posts, read 2,053,490 times
Reputation: 3298
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
She was treated very well ... so why is SHE leaving?

You're allowed to not want someone. But kvetching about her in the face of your own "stagnation, aloofness and inability to move forward" shows a staggering lack of self-awareness.



Very good point. Saying you treated her very well, may be pushing it. The things you DIDN'T DO OP can be just as hurtful as anything you could have done. Again, I am speaking from personal experience. There were times I thought I treated an ex well, because I didn't do other things that so called "Bad Men" do. But not giving her attention, being passive aggressive and just not flat out being honest about how I really felt, was not treating her well either. This is just one example of self reflecting you may need to do, and be truly honest of your actions in the relationship.
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Old 07-18-2019, 09:51 AM
 
112 posts, read 24,893 times
Reputation: 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76 View Post
Very good point. Saying you treated her very well, may be pushing it. The things you DIDN'T DO OP can be just as hurtful as anything you could have done. Again, I am speaking from personal experience. There were times I thought I treated an ex well, because I didn't do other things that so called "Bad Men" do. But not giving her attention, being passive aggressive and just not flat out being honest about how I really felt, was not treating her well either. This is just one example of self reflecting you may need to do, and be truly honest of your actions in the relationship.

Agreed. I could've done better, but I did the best I could. I am imperfect. I really wished for and wanted it to work, for so many reasons.
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Old 07-18-2019, 10:15 AM
 
1,659 posts, read 3,609,646 times
Reputation: 1281
OP you're just not into her. What you call great "on paper" is based off norms and societal influences that state she should be what you want but you obviously are not at that stage or "just not into her."

Why in the world would you try to force interest or do something rash like commit to her without having that "spark"? Not all relationships are meant to last.

It's great she's moving on and you should do the same. Don't waste more years of your own or someone else when you know it isn't right take decisive actions.
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