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View Poll Results: Which describes best what you are looking for in a mate?
Option 1 3 8.33%
Option 2 21 58.33%
Option 3 2 5.56%
Option 4 10 27.78%
Voters: 36. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-18-2019, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Asheville, NC
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#2
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Old 07-18-2019, 08:10 PM
 
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2. Already tried 3 and 4. 1 I've had with fantasy, it works on that level.
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Old 07-18-2019, 08:43 PM
 
7,413 posts, read 11,576,699 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by riffle View Post

My answer to the question in the thread title (not the four descriptions in the first post) would be Proverbs 31:10-31.
Sounds like #3 to me...
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Old 07-18-2019, 11:41 PM
 
Location: California
855 posts, read 233,855 times
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Probably 4. I have a lot of close friends already, and I enjoy being alone, so I'd need that magical "drive me crazy" connection in order to fall in love.
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Old Yesterday, 08:23 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,133 posts, read 12,876,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
So, anonymous poll. Answer honestly.

I'm curious as to what people think about this.

Which if the following describes BEST what you are looking for in a mate. You can only pick one.

1) The best looking and most successful (however you define either). Brad Pitt, Prince William, Tom Brady, Elon Musk comes up to you tmrw and wants to marry you. Or Beyonce, Jennifer Garner, Alex Morgan, Cindy Crawford. Doesn't matter, whatever your taste is. They're hot and they're rich and they like you. And let's just say, they're nice and honest, and trustworthy.

2) Looking for a best friend that matches me closest to every level. This one is self explanatory. Like your best friend (or what you would imagine a best friend to be) but with boobs ... or a penis. Looks and income will be variable. But again, let's just they're nice and honest. Unless you are mean and dishonest. Then they'll match that.

3) Just rock solid practical partner for a family. You want either a husband or wife who is going to provide what you need to raise kids. Income commensurate with what you would expect. They'll perform their task as a mate and parent admirably and get along with your family.

4) Person who gets you running on a pure emotional level. We've all been there. Hard to describe, but person you're obsessed with for whatever reason, they get your engine running. You'll have that sexual chemistry for the rest of your life. Screw friendship, you can go to the salon with the gals.

Only pick one...
4) I have had that several times. Usually either is a cheater or addict or mentally ill.
3) doesn't sound like he is home very often and too busy earning money
2) If there is sexual chemistry, I pick that
1) Too stressful, I want to stay anonymous and celebrities are too busy and all over the place to stay with one person.
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Old Yesterday, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Colorado
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I already answered, but this is such an interesting thread to me, especially that 2 with at least a dash of 4 seems to be the winning combo for a lot of us.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
...
1) The best looking and most successful (however you define either). Brad Pitt, Prince William, Tom Brady, Elon Musk comes up to you tmrw and wants to marry you. Or Beyonce, Jennifer Garner, Alex Morgan, Cindy Crawford. Doesn't matter, whatever your taste is. They're hot and they're rich and they like you. And let's just say, they're nice and honest, and trustworthy.
Seems way too superficial. People might fantasize about winning the lottery but most of us have jobs. But in my estimation, this is the stuff of those stories where you get your wish and it turns out horrible. The powerball winner who winds up bankrupt because they let their spending habits get out of control. The Hollywood stars we hear of with all the drama, despite being rich and beautiful. I just can't trust this.
Quote:
2) Looking for a best friend that matches me closest to every level. This one is self explanatory. Like your best friend (or what you would imagine a best friend to be) but with boobs ... or a penis. Looks and income will be variable. But again, let's just they're nice and honest. Unless you are mean and dishonest. Then they'll match that.
I knew that what I wanted most was agreeable companionship. I cannot tolerate strife and stress and drama in my home. I want someone in my life that I really enjoy spending time with. I have many, many friends, but my fiance has become the best friend of them all.
Quote:
3) Just rock solid practical partner for a family. You want either a husband or wife who is going to provide what you need to raise kids. Income commensurate with what you would expect. They'll perform their task as a mate and parent admirably and get along with your family.
This is all well and good if someone wants to have kids and build a family. I never really wanted to be a wife or mother, as I've said in various threads here...I managed the role with as much grace as I could, but it was not my "happily ever after." And now my sons are in the process of leaving the nest finally, I don't intend to define myself as a domestic woman, I have other goals. I don't need a protector, I can keep myself out of trouble, I don't need a provider because I make a decent income, and I sure don't need a father for my kids in the next phase of my life, but I am 40 years old so that does make a difference.
Quote:
4) Person who gets you running on a pure emotional level. We've all been there. Hard to describe, but person you're obsessed with for whatever reason, they get your engine running. You'll have that sexual chemistry for the rest of your life. Screw friendship, you can go to the salon with the gals.
...
This is a very enjoyable thing to have. But to me if it's lacking any of the other elements, it has the makings of the situations where one person really hungers for the other, but the exciting lover will only stick around until the novelty wears off and then they'll be ready to move on. I don't think that a relationship build on this alone can last more than a matter of months, tops. And chasing it from one partner to the next is risky and exhausting, in my opinion.
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Old Yesterday, 08:49 AM
 
7,413 posts, read 11,576,699 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
1) Too stressful, I want to stay anonymous and celebrities are too busy and all over the place to stay with one person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
Seems way too superficial. People might fantasize about winning the lottery but most of us have jobs. But in my estimation, this is the stuff of those stories where you get your wish and it turns out horrible. The powerball winner who winds up bankrupt because they let their spending habits get out of control. The Hollywood stars we hear of with all the drama, despite being rich and beautiful. I just can't trust this.
Actually, I should have clarified.

What I was thinking when I wrote Option #1 wasn't that you'd literally be going out with Brad Pitt or Elon Musk (unless that is appealing) but that'd you'd have the option to date the best looking and most 'successful' person that you desire, whether that be a celebrity or the man or woman in your social circle that is seen to be the 'best catch'.

I put celebrities in there as a token of peak status and physical attractiveness, but it didn't mean you'd necessarily have to live the celebrity life. It could be somebody really good looking and really successful who is relatively or completely anonymous.
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Old Yesterday, 08:54 AM
 
7,466 posts, read 2,951,572 times
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4. Every time, even if I have to go through a few of them to get to one that lasts awhile. No complaints, life’s short.
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Old Yesterday, 08:57 AM
 
Location: D.C.
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Definitely number 4, and luckily I found her.
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Old Yesterday, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Colorado
11,918 posts, read 7,341,000 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Actually, I should have clarified.

What I was thinking when I wrote Option #1 wasn't that you'd literally be going out with Brad Pitt or Elon Musk (unless that is appealing) but that'd you'd have the option to date the best looking and most 'successful' person that you desire, whether that be a celebrity or the man or woman in your social circle that is seen to be the 'best catch'.

I put celebrities in there as a token of peak status and physical attractiveness, but it didn't mean you'd necessarily have to live the celebrity life. It could be somebody really good looking and really successful who is relatively or completely anonymous.
Right. I got that. I just feel like there is something about the "trophy spouse" concept that is off-putting.

I mean, I can think of men who have struck me as being exceptionally good looking in my own estimation, and I've rejected a few of 'em. I had a guy who was, by my standards, very wealthy, and who was frequently extravagant in giving me gifts and money, and it made me uncomfortable. These things just are not my preferred grounds for connection if the "friendship" element is lacking. Rich/beautiful men in particular make me uncomfortable for some reason. I think that I assume in the back of my mind that they've got a sense of entitlement and they won't respect my needs. I just don't choose them.

The celebrity I crush on is present-day (not Jurassic Park 1 era) Jeff Goldblum. The jazz pianist with the quirky style and the Daddy jokes. It's all about character.
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