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Old Today, 01:48 PM
1,434 posts, read 584,298 times
Reputation: 1714


Let's say your significant other is on a crazy project that is requiring him to work crazy hours per week (60+) and he is traveling like a nutjob too for it. He hates it and is miserable, and he has mentioned that once it's all over he will look for another job, but in the meantime he has to finish this project. He still makes time for you when he's not travelling for this project (once a week sometimes two).

With all that being said, how do you support him through this time?

I figured the best approach is to communicate your support. That when he texts how stressful he is, you ask him if there is anything you can do to help and alleviate that load and try to be positive for him. Also, helping him out by sending him some stuff that can give him a mind break. For example, a funny podcast episode or something that you know will make him laugh a bit maybe sent every once in a while. With no pressure to listen to it, but rather to show you care and you are thinking of them through their stressful period.

One thing I am completely avoiding is putting any pressure on anything. Giving him his space and time to relax and be alone when needed. and not pressuring him to do social activities that I am doing. I also keep my communication limited, not bothering him too much but just checking in on him and letting him know if he needs help with anything to let me know. Brief and to the point, and not overly frequent.

Is this the best approach? What kind of things do you do?
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Old Today, 02:31 PM
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I think that sounds wonderful. I will bet he will appreciate you more.
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Old Today, 02:39 PM
2,610 posts, read 1,946,669 times
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Sounds like you are doing everything right.
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Old Today, 02:53 PM
Location: Colorado
11,910 posts, read 7,333,344 times
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Your methods sound great!

Something I do when my fiance is having stress and tough times at work...well, he works on his feet, so when we are home together I offer foot rubs. I also always give back scratches. But his "love language" is physical touch and I know that sort of thing is very appreciated. Obviously this won't be the way to go for any and every stressed, overworked partner.

But it does make me think...if you know your partner's preferred love language, finding a way to work that into whatever bits of time you can get together can be very thoughtful. An "acts of service" person would love it if you did their laundry so that they didn't have to, and any other tasks you could think of that they'd otherwise do themselves. A "words of affirmation" person will appreciate those texts and other bits of loving and validating communication. The other two are gifts, and quality time... Gifts is pretty obvious, give them small things that let them know you're thinking of them even when you are apart. Quality time might be the hardest in a time like this, because they are very busy and it's hard to make time...but doing whatever you can to take any other workload off of them when they are not around, so that they have no other worries when they are finally home, and free to relax and enjoy time together, might help.

But I like what you say about keeping the pressure off. That would be especially important if you have not been together for a super long time, long enough to know his wants and needs for sure.
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Old Today, 03:01 PM
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It sounds like you're doing everything right. I'm currently in the same situation as your husband with a project that has been making me have to run around like my hair's on fire. But my boyfriend has been really supportive and understanding and of course it helps that, out of all the things going on in my life right now, my relationship doesn't give me any stress at all. That helps a lot, actually.
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Old Today, 04:53 PM
Location: Bloomington IN
6,548 posts, read 7,817,984 times
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Recently I was working on three different projects with three different companies so was working weekends and about 12-14 hours a day. It's not an exaggeration that I was working at least 80 hours/week. My husband was really supportive. He took over all the typical errands like the shopping, made sure I had food and ate, and took care of house stuff. Most importantly to me is he didn't complain about my hours. He knew it was only for a month or so, and why I was doing it. That's all it took.
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Old Today, 05:18 PM
8,575 posts, read 7,152,227 times
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The biggest thing when your partner is stressed out is to acknowledge it and attempt to not add to it.
How you go about this depends on your partner and their own individual sensibilities.
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