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Old Yesterday, 09:47 PM
 
4,198 posts, read 2,494,480 times
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Have you noticed that for quite some time people tend to accept others failed relationships more so than older generations did?
My parents are in their 80s, and they have been married over 60 years. Their parents never were divorced, etc etc.
Now it seems more and more just accept divorces and other failed marriages as if they were a normal thing.
You hear the phrases, move on, you will find someone else, crap happens, and many many more.
Just a little rambling, but curious as to why we accept it. Is it becuase it is easier to find someone else due to social media, apps, etc etc, or because values have deteriorated and people dont want to honestly work issues out.
Granted there are bad issues, adultery etc.
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Old Yesterday, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,447 posts, read 41,993,006 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve40th View Post
Have you noticed that for quite some time people tend to accept others failed relationships more so than older generations did?
My parents are in their 80s, and they have been married over 60 years. Their parents never were divorced, etc etc.
Now it seems more and more just accept divorces and other failed marriages as if they were a normal thing.
You hear the phrases, move on, you will find someone else, crap happens, and many many more.
Just a little rambling, but curious as to why we accept it. Is it becuase it is easier to find someone else due to social media, apps, etc etc, or because values have deteriorated and people dont want to honestly work issues out.
Granted there are bad issues, adultery etc.
The paradox of choice.
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Old Yesterday, 10:05 PM
 
285 posts, read 92,162 times
Reputation: 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve40th View Post
Have you noticed that for quite some time people tend to accept others failed relationships more so than older generations did?
My parents are in their 80s, and they have been married over 60 years. Their parents never were divorced, etc etc.
Now it seems more and more just accept divorces and other failed marriages as if they were a normal thing.
You hear the phrases, move on, you will find someone else, crap happens, and many many more.
Just a little rambling, but curious as to why we accept it. Is it becuase it is easier to find someone else due to social media, apps, etc etc, or because values have deteriorated and people dont want to honestly work issues out.
Granted there are bad issues, adultery etc.
Values have deteriorated for sure. But the adultery, I can't stand. In earlier times women didn't work so much. They had less interaction and were possibly less likely to be the adulterer. If a man was, women just found it easier to stay and, "work it out".

I can't imagine being in that position in earlier times. Would I have been feisty like now and done some tit for tat? Or would the times with better values have prevented me from doing so since to an extent we are products of our environment?

Things shouldn't be so disposable. . .but people shouldn't cheat even if they had a position in society that made it more likely to not have much consequence. Easier in modern times to end things if you are wronged as it is more socially acceptable.
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Old Yesterday, 10:57 PM
 
1,218 posts, read 537,008 times
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My parents had no business marrying, and would have been much happier had they not met. I’m glad they accepted their failure, and am only sorry they didn’t realise it before I came along.

Old fashioned values are often unrealistic, and not the best by any means.
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Old Today, 06:17 AM
 
1,218 posts, read 537,008 times
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I for one welcome a society where people can be more honest with themselves and each other about mistakes and poor decisions they have made in love and life. If people no longer having to lie to themselves, their families and their friends to keep up appearances, or invest huge amounts of emotional labour into relationships that have no merit or benefit means ‘values have deteriorated’, so be it.
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Old Today, 06:20 AM
 
4,198 posts, read 2,494,480 times
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Originally Posted by scribbles76 View Post
I for one welcome a society where people can be more honest with themselves and each other about mistakes and poor decisions they have made in love and life. If people no longer having to lie to themselves, their families and their friends to keep up appearances, or invest huge amounts of emotional labour into relationships that have no merit or benefit means ‘values have deteriorated’, so be it.
Very good points.
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Old Today, 06:43 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,655 posts, read 4,897,114 times
Reputation: 12588
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76 View Post
I for one welcome a society where people can be more honest with themselves and each other about mistakes and poor decisions they have made in love and life. If people no longer having to lie to themselves, their families and their friends to keep up appearances, or invest huge amounts of emotional labour into relationships that have no merit or benefit means ‘values have deteriorated’, so be it.
I agree with this. I think there were and still are unrealistic expectations of relationships. It leads to people getting themselves in dysfunctional/unhappy situations because "love conquers all" or "it's noble to stick with someone no matter what." In theory, it sounds good. But it's really too extreme for most people to handle. A lot of people can't handle being with one person for the rest of their lives. I think it's okay. Do I think people just throw relationships away these days? Maybe. Is it my business? No. I've posted about this before, but people tend to choose partners based on bounded rationality. Meaning they choose someone that's good enough for the moment based on their own cognitive/emotional limits and what's convenient.
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Old Today, 06:45 AM
 
4,198 posts, read 2,494,480 times
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Many people choose to stay in a relationship due to finances too. Sometimes they stick it out to be secure, vs happy ( whatever that means, being happy that is)
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Old Today, 06:55 AM
 
842 posts, read 220,697 times
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Two things -- birth control and more women in the workplace.

You never hear of "shotgun weddings" any more and more women have the economic power to leave relationships. (More women than men have college degrees today.) When I view shows such as "Mad Men" I am reminded of how repressed some women were. So we don't know how many marital relationships lasted as long as they did for above reasons. As more people get divorced, the more acceptable it becomes.
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Old Today, 08:05 AM
 
35 posts, read 819 times
Reputation: 40
My parents were married 57 years and they only had one fight. But that fight lasted 56 years.
In the "old days" it wasn't as easy for women to divorce financially. Nowadays, more women have financial Independence so divorce can be a viable option. Most divorces are good things. Get it over with and start over. Why be miserable the rest of your life?
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