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Old 08-01-2019, 07:45 PM
 
626 posts, read 335,817 times
Reputation: 467

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Ive also been cheated on and believe me, I knew. Even if the guy tried to hide it. Being in an intimate relationship with someone, there are patterns and routines. Small deviations, any shift or change in pattern is a giveaway. Even if it appears to be a positive change. Suddenly he wants to f you for 2 hours straight, or wants to take you out for an extra special dinner (probably cheated).

 
Old 08-01-2019, 08:17 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,485 posts, read 13,015,068 times
Reputation: 31232
It's called trust
 
Old 08-01-2019, 08:17 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 306,356 times
Reputation: 1148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
I am not suggesting that you be suspicious of every guy.. the point was that “you never know”. You buy your ticket and you take your chances. You were pretty quick to defend your present SO. You totally trust him. Would you have not done the same with your ex a-hole, before you found out he was an a-hole? Did you trust him? Did you ever think he’d have cheated? Did he ever give you a reason to mistrust him before he gave you a reason to not trust him? Relationships are a crap shoot at best.
I didn't know my ex very long....before we married....(it was rushed because of his transfer). I never had a chance to trust my ex, because it was so soon after we were married, I found out his lies & deception.......so it's very very different. I know my mistake in marrying him so fast....A N D I see all the signs ofc with my ex.....

A N D my ex did give me another reason not to trust him.......by always having excuses why we didn't hang out with his friends or family more.....I see it as a big red flag now....but I didn't think anything of it at the time. My current Bf is very transparent......I dunno if it's because he knows what I've been through......but I like it....

I'm not planning a wedding with my current Bf....so it's fine.....the relationship is still growing, but all relationships need trust that grows....until they give you a reason not to.....like my ex.......
 
Old 08-01-2019, 08:22 PM
 
626 posts, read 335,817 times
Reputation: 467
How old are you OP? All this makes sense only if you are 19.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 08:26 PM
 
626 posts, read 335,817 times
Reputation: 467
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Your obsession with my life & my relationship is what doesn't make sense.........
Stop sounding delusional. You seem like a young girl in trouble. Either that or you are preying on a senior citizen Anna Nicole like. Either way keep posting and I will read and reply as I see fit. If you hate it, call the cops.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 08:28 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,228 posts, read 15,011,322 times
Reputation: 15000
I would happily drive him there and tell him to have a blast. Then I'd go home and read a book and fall asleep.


Why would you even ask? Seriously, would you ask: how do you feel about..........him going shopping or to work or to lunch with an old friend. Sheesh, if you can't or don't trust him out of your sight, the location makes no difference. And if you don't have trust, you have a ****ty relationship, end it.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 08:31 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 306,356 times
Reputation: 1148
Quote:
Originally Posted by kygman View Post
It's called trust
Yes....& we have it in each other......even when his best friend gets married......
 
Old 08-01-2019, 08:51 PM
 
167 posts, read 33,071 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Your obsession with my life & my relationship is what doesn't make sense.........
You put your business out there...ALOT of it, then when posters comment on it, they have an "obsession with your life and relationships"? YOU'RE the one talking about it! Why serve it up on a plate if you don't want others to eat it?
 
Old 08-01-2019, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
7,020 posts, read 3,916,314 times
Reputation: 16786
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Its true its a crap shoot but I am curious, I am sure most ladies on this forum have had relationships. Some might be married to their first love with never an issue but most will have had a few relationships.

Did you get a sense from the get go who was a cheater?

I always did. Ofc when one is young and inexperienced we dont like to think about it, but arent there little alarm bells going off?

I have about 15 years of dating experience in one of biggest singles metropolitan areas in the US so I think I have encountered nearly every type of man. It was pretty easy to read all of them though its only in hindsight that I know my instincts were right. I know the ones that went on to be faithfully married and the ones that keep reaching out to me despite being married.
You must have ESP or something. I have good Spidy sense myself, but I am not going to claim that I’ve never been played. When I worked for the airline I had guys literally standing in line to blow some smoke up my butt. Lol
You could usually tell who the players were, but I also ran into some pretty smooth guys who acted on their best behavior in order to try and get me to go out with them. They showed their true colors later on, while in the beginning they acted like good guys.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 09:14 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 306,356 times
Reputation: 1148
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
With my current, I wouldnt worry about it at all. He is a good man and not the type to cheat (in fact he's cut off friends because they were cheating on their wives, because he was cheated on he has strong feelings about it). He would probably feel awkward and embarrassed getting a lap dance. Many past relationships I would hate the idea, but they were different type men (and not as in love with me as my SO now).
I feel this way too....about my Bf being a good man & he has shown I can trust him. I know he loves me. His friends seem like really good people too....he's had some for years since school or through his job & hobbies....

I can't remember my ex going to a bach party while we were married.....tho he could have lied about it like everything else. Or...he was too busy...Lol......
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