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Old 07-21-2019, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,646 posts, read 52,914,590 times
Reputation: 71029

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
My Bf & I usually spend most weekends together.....except sometimes on Friday nights we both go out with our friends ..(all together or separate). Tonight is the first Saturday night we aren't together....he is at a bachelor party for a very good friend of his. When a friend of mine heard this, she couldn't believe this was Ok with me......I didn't think that much of it.

How would you feel?
1. Why would his going to his friend's bachelor party be a problem?
2. I think you better think long and hard about why what a friend says about your relationship bothers you so much. Or influences you at all.

 
Old 07-21-2019, 11:12 AM
 
352 posts, read 67,736 times
Reputation: 670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy_C View Post
I feel like I should go to the bank and get him a bunch of $1 bills for the stripper - have a blast honey!
Really? That's totally gross and perverse IMO to encourage your spouse to watch another woman take her clothes off while she is paid for doing so. In my eyes it is exploitation.
 
Old 07-21-2019, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,646 posts, read 52,914,590 times
Reputation: 71029
Why are we assuming there will be a stripper?
 
Old 07-21-2019, 11:22 AM
 
2,172 posts, read 1,716,448 times
Reputation: 2735
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Why are we assuming there will be a stripper?
I know, my first thought was a lecture on comparative government political structures.
 
Old 07-21-2019, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Southern California
5,570 posts, read 8,214,529 times
Reputation: 5309
If your man KNOWS you don't like him to go to that kind of thing, he should respect that & not go.

In my case, my SO knows I don't like it AND he's not the type to go either, so he doesn't go. He has 2 brothers who had bachelor parties & one of them went to a strip club. He simply participated in the other activities & when they were all about to drive to the strip club later at the end, he left (he came in his own car).

Last edited by Forever Blue; 07-21-2019 at 11:47 AM..
 
Old 07-21-2019, 11:46 AM
 
1,046 posts, read 345,099 times
Reputation: 1747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Really? That's totally gross and perverse IMO to encourage your spouse to watch another woman take her clothes off while she is paid for doing so. In my eyes it is exploitation.
Ha - you clearly are unaware of just how much money strippers make. The viewers are the only ones being exploited!

And, for the record, I have been to many a strip club. Including with both a bachelor and a bachelorette party! (Good times, good times....)
 
Old 07-21-2019, 12:29 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I don't have a boyfriend or husband right now, but when I did have one, I didn't care.


That said, I didn't get involved with men who went to bachelor parties often.
If it happened all the time....I probably wouldn't like that either. He's older tho (& so are his friends, many of them already married)....first time since I've known him he's been invited to one. Not a big thang, IMO.
 
Old 07-21-2019, 12:34 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
If your man KNOWS you don't like him to go to that kind of thing, he should respect that & not go.

In my case, my SO knows I don't like it AND he's not the type to go either, so he doesn't go. He has 2 brothers who had bachelor parties & one of them went to a strip club. He simply participated in the other activities & when they were all about to drive to the strip club later at the end, he left (he came in his own car).
It doesn't bother me....my friend thought it should, Lol. It was one time.....for a very good friend of his. I trust him & his behavior.....it's not like we can watch or control every situation our Bfs or husbands are ever in. If I didn't trust him......I wouldn't be planning to move in with him.
 
Old 07-21-2019, 12:44 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
1. Why would his going to his friend's bachelor party be a problem?
2. I think you better think long and hard about why what a friend says about your relationship bothers you so much. Or influences you at all.
It doesn't influence me....& there is nothing to think long & hard about. It would bother her apparently....maybe she doesn't trust her husband. I would think it doesn't bother most....& so I thought I would ask the question........to see if I was right for assuming it.
 
Old 07-21-2019, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,570 posts, read 8,214,529 times
Reputation: 5309
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
It doesn't bother me....my friend thought it should, Lol. It was one time.....for a very good friend of his. I trust him & his behavior.....it's not like we can watch or control every situation our Bfs or husbands are ever in. If I didn't trust him......I wouldn't be planning to move in with him.
I don't like the "men going to strip clubs when they've got a GF or married" because that's WAY too close/chummy/touchy, etc. for my man to be w/ some stranger. Sex is the only next activity & to me, it shouldn't have to get that far. They should respect their woman back at home much more than that to me.

I think if MORE women opposed to it & stayed strong in their stance in this society, then men would know they can't get away w/ it. And I don't think ANY of the below reasons are good enough for a woman to justify allowing her man to go to a strip club:

- "he comes home to me at the end of the night, so that's all that matters" - yeah, but before he comes home to you, he's grinding away & doing God knows what from 8p - 1a or whatever before he comes home

- "looking & touching's fine w/ me" - OK, looking at another woman rarely when we're out at the store or someplace may be OK, but why give him all this other opportunity to look, touch, lick, et.c, etc., etc. at some raunchy club?!

- "If I oppose, I don't want to start a fight" - that should be the least of a woman's worries. If it starts a fight, so be it. I'm not afraid of some yelling & cussing if I believe in what I stand for. He either respects me or he doesn't & if he doesn't, I'd tell that joker to get to steppin'!


MOST MEN probably wouldn't want me because I hold a higher standard of myself & they know they won't be able to get away w/ anything & treat me any kind of old way. It takes a certain, genuine man of high caliber that will get into a relationship w/ me. I'm not saying this to boast or brag. I wish a TON more women out there were strong & didn't cower & had more respect for themselves...then maybe (gasp!) the men will too, what a concept!

I know of a few men (definitely NOT friends of mine) who marry these weak-@s$ ninny of a woman w/ absolutely no backbone because they know they can get away w/ murder in the marriage. A LOT of men will do this so there's no opposition. I want a REAL man who treats his woman like a queen & w/ the utmost respect! I see a LOT of losers out there in public & if that's the ONLY kind of men there are out there, I'll happily stay alone & be a whole LOT happier.

Last edited by Forever Blue; 07-21-2019 at 12:58 PM..
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