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Old 08-03-2019, 03:17 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
No when I was 23, I thought the whole thing was embarrassing. I did go to my best friends— but when she offered to throw one for me I said “no thanks”. I didn’t need any “last night” of anything. That’s what the traditional parties stood for.

We agree on going out with friends and having a good time, there’s nothing to disagree about with that.
My friend was 23 too. The worst we did was order a drink called a Blow Job, because it was topped with whipped cream. She wore a veil. Guys came up to flirt with us but most of us were taken. They were too drunk to be very effective anyways. When they realized it was a bachelorette party they left us alone, maybe kept flirting with the one single girl in the group. It was actually all very clean innocent fun.

Her husband OTOH...

 
Old 08-03-2019, 03:17 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I lost touch with him so idk. He wanted to marry her, she had his 8 year old son at that time. But he is a womanizer at heart. The Bachelor party was like giving an alcoholic another drink after a period of abstaining, causing a relapse.

Well that's different. Even my ex who went through a phase with his 2 bff's of going to go-go bars (it became very trendy about 2 decades ago), they still just mainly drank beer and talked to each other. My ex was a good Catholic boy raised with (IMO) a lot of shame around sex. He would have turned 20 shades of red if any of the girls tried to give him a lap dance, lol. It really wasn't about sex, it was just another weird male bonding ritual, lol.
 
Old 08-03-2019, 03:19 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Well that's different. Even my ex who went through a phase with his 2 bff's of going to go-go bars (it became very trendy about 2 decades ago), they still just mainly drank beer and talked to each other. My ex was a good Catholic boy raised with (IMO) a lot of shame around sex. He would have turned 20 shades of red if any of the girls tried to give him a lap dance, lol. It really wasn't about sex, it was just another weird male bonding ritual, lol.
Very different scenarios then. This man was in his 30s, he'd been around the block and said himself he danced with the devil. For a guy like that a bachelor party might be a bad idea.
 
Old 08-03-2019, 03:21 PM
 
7,638 posts, read 3,002,418 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
For my friend who got married right after college, when we were 22, we did make her a crown of penises out of construction paper. It was just for laughs--we didn't expect her to wear it. Then we went to a movie and got Sex and the City-type cocktails, since it was the late 90s.
Yeah I remember the party gags and props. The giant inflatable penis.

I’m saying doing things that make me feel awkward and embarrassed are not synonymous with support, as far as I’m concerned. Having men at the event would have ruined it.

In fact I don’t understand the point of celebrating a last night of “singledum” the last night of it really, either...the first 10 years of my marriage were probably the most fun and exciting time of my life until now, anyway. I wasn’t regretfully saying goodbye to half naked men and inflatable penises. Peni?

I sure as hell wouldn’t go a Toby Keith concert with confederate flags and rednecks, to support anything or anyone. I’d rather go to jail. Those kind of friends must’ve slipped in the back door, because birds of a feather and all that it implies. Support? What about morals, ethics and pride? Yes some take the whole thing too seriously. They sacrifice their opinion and priorities, just to get along.

But as the intent of the thread is, each feels differently and there’s no sense in thinking others have to think like them or be wrong.
 
Old 08-03-2019, 03:33 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Very different scenarios then. This man was in his 30s, he'd been around the block and said himself he danced with the devil. For a guy like that a bachelor party might be a bad idea.

Honestly to me marriage to that man might be a bad idea!
 
Old 08-03-2019, 03:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Honestly to me marriage to that man might be a bad idea!
I agree. I would be very surprised if they are still together. But she had his son, hope springs eternal. For a brief period he appeared to have redeemed himself and proposed to her.
 
Old 08-03-2019, 03:38 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Yeah I remember the party gags and props. The giant inflatable penis.

I’m saying doing things that make me feel awkward and embarrassed are not synonymous with support, as far as I’m concerned. Having men at the event would have ruined it.

In fact I don’t understand the point of celebrating a last night of “singledum” the last night of it really, either...the first 10 years of my marriage were probably the most fun and exciting time of my life until now, anyway. I wasn’t regretfully saying goodbye to half naked men and inflatable penises. Peni?

I sure as hell wouldn’t go a Toby Keith concert with confederate flags and rednecks, to support anything or anyone. I’d rather go to jail.
Those kind of friends must’ve slipped in the back door, because birds of a feather and all that it implies. Support? What about morals, ethics and pride? Yes some take the whole thing too seriously. They sacrifice their opinion and priorities, just to get along.

But as the intent of the thread is, each feels differently and there’s no sense in thinking others have to think like them or be wrong.

She's my niece and I was in her wedding party. It was her wedding, and I am an adult capable of holding my nose for 2 hours for someone I love.
 
Old 08-03-2019, 04:14 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
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I just want to say, as comparison, I spent some time abroad and I got to experience prewedding celebrations in a small village in Africa. There was no nudity involved or getting lap dances from the opposite sex or stripper like people.

The different genders did separate off. The women got together and danced, painted henna on each other, thimgs like that. The guys just chilled with each other and talked. I got to experience both sides.

Its interesting American culture has made it so trashy. Its a sacred lifetime commitment being made and we kick it off with strippers and peni?
 
Old 08-03-2019, 06:03 PM
 
753 posts, read 450,814 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I don’t think that normally happens. Most people are attending the party for their friend not for the entertainment itself. Most people are not gonna let their best friends down and not attend their bachelor or bachelorette party.
Exactly. If I had my choice, it would be a more of a drunken house/hotel party minus paid entertainment. But it's not my special event. I could turn down the invitation on the principals if it was that huge of an issue to me, that's my choice, but it's not that huge of an issue.



Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
No when I was 23, I thought the whole thing was embarrassing. I did go to my best friends— but when she offered to throw one for me I said “no thanks”. I didn’t need any “last night” of anything. That’s what the traditional parties stood for.
And that's your personal choice, and no one should think less of you for it.
 
Old 08-03-2019, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,631 posts, read 42,225,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rya96797 View Post

Exactly. If I had my choice, it would be a more of a drunken house/hotel party minus paid entertainment. But it's not my special event. I could turn down the invitation on the principals if it was that huge of an issue to me, that's my choice, but it's not that huge of an issue.
Are we required to do everything suggested in order to "support a friend," though, as the OP keeps emphasizing?

When does someone draw a line?

I agree that going to look at naked strangers is a weird custom in today's world. What if "supporting a friend" included something that was as problematic as being in proximity with that temptation (nudity), such as a casino or drugs?
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