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Old 08-03-2019, 07:10 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
But again, a lot of younger people do want this party experience. There are people who do art and other things. But a lot of people especially people in their 20s, one of the big party. They want crazy memories to remember 20 years from now. Thatís why Las Vegas is still the most popular spot for both bachelor and bachelorette parties, because thatís with the bride and the party want. I donít think thereís anything wrong with it. I feel like the people who do choose this are being judged as not creative enough or so somehow doing something wrong. Most especially by the people who say they would let down their friends and not even go if it were held at such a place. I feel like people are taking the whole thing too seriously. Itís just an environment to get drunk and stupid and let their hair down for people who want that kind of party before they get married.
Ita....the bachelorette parties I have gone to when I was 25 & 26 (& most of us were single)...are different than now..(I'm 31 & a lot more of my friends are married). It's all different kinds...BUT in all of them it involved some drinking & lots of L A U G H I N G....(not judging). I went to one last year that was a private spa day with lots of champagne & girl talk.......there will probably be non drinkers that put up their nose to that too. You can't please everyone & it's up to the bride......it's a couple hrs of your life to celebrate a friend getting married......& honestly, I have never been to a bachelorette party that it got that bad....

 
Old 08-03-2019, 07:13 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
She's my niece and I was in her wedding party. It was her wedding, and I am an adult capable of holding my nose for 2 hours for someone I love.
This is a really wonderful attitude.........
 
Old 08-03-2019, 10:17 PM
 
148 posts, read 24,875 times
Reputation: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
So they should ďhonorĒ their friend by doing that anyway?
The bride or groom is the "guest of honor".
 
Old 08-03-2019, 10:24 PM
 
148 posts, read 24,875 times
Reputation: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Very different scenarios then. This man was in his 30s, he'd been around the block and said himself he danced with the devil. For a guy like that a bachelor party might be a bad idea.
Did he get old and calm down? If he was still like that, he shouldn't be getting married because who would trust him? However, some men do get it out of their system when they are younger. It's the quiet, conservative guys you really have to watch out for! It's all pent-up inside.
 
Old Yesterday, 04:10 AM
 
753 posts, read 450,814 times
Reputation: 660
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Are we required to do everything suggested in order to "support a friend," though, as the OP keeps emphasizing?

When does someone draw a line?

I agree that going to look at naked strangers is a weird custom in today's world. What if "supporting a friend" included something that was as problematic as being in proximity with that temptation (nudity), such as a casino or drugs?

we're all adults (presumably). if you're bothered by it, then simply don't go. I already said earlier if the principals of the matter are an issue for you, which you're bringing up, then you simply shouldn't go. And somewhat getting back to the topic, if your significant other is someone you can't trust at one of these events, it suggest they can't control themselves, which presents a much bigger issue than simply a bachelor/bachelorette party.


I can't speak for anyone else, but when im in a relationship, 3rd party nudity, gambling, drugs, whatever, does not present a temptation for me. On the far side of the spectrum, there are men/women that will bang anyone with a warm hole/hotdog and will gamble and do drugs until they go blind. So yes, if you do choose to marry one of these individuals, then you might want to keep them on a short leash, but that is a problem specific to your situation.

Last edited by rya96797; Yesterday at 04:42 AM..
 
Old Yesterday, 09:18 AM
 
7,638 posts, read 3,002,418 times
Reputation: 12603
Quote:
Originally Posted by rya96797 View Post
we're all adults (presumably). if you're bothered by it, then simply don't go. I already said earlier if the principals of the matter are an issue for you, which you're bringing up, then you simply shouldn't go.
Exactly!

But the “adult” thing isn’t to jump off a cliff if all your friends are, the adult thing is to stay true to yourself. Admit it if you like half naked people dancing around and potentially rubbing on you! Admit it if you think it’s good times and giggles to shove dollars in someone’s undies!

Don’t use the “other kids” as an excuse if you’re an adult. Don’t get it twisted and tell people who won’t participate in that kind of activity that they aren’t acting as adults. An adult is honest with themself.

The question became, support your friend, but where do you draw the line? You draw the line where you can stand up for yourself and own it.

1. I’m doing this because I like it.
2. I’m doing this because my values come second to my friends who planned the party.
Or
3. I don’t support this, don’t like it (for me), and won’t be going.

Maybe it’s easier for a woman to say all her life she’s avoided strange men who may suddenly take their clothes off and dance around and grind on her, tonight she can’t suddenly pretend to think it’s fun.

Whereas a man may lean more towards thinking here’s a good opportunity to play out the fantasy of an attractive woman taking her clothes off and seducing him with a little dance.

It’s not the “drinks and good times with friends” that anyone is debating.
 
Old Yesterday, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,631 posts, read 42,225,424 times
Reputation: 84061
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post

Donít use the ďother kidsĒ as an excuse if youíre an adult. Donít get it twisted and tell people who wonít participate in that kind of activity that they arenít acting as adults. An adult is honest with themself.

The question became, support your friend, but where do you draw the line? You draw the line where you can stand up for yourself and own it.

1. Iím doing this because I like it.
2. Iím doing this because my values come second to my friends who planned the party.
Or
3. I donít support this, donít like it (for me), and wonít be going.
Precisely.

The funny thing about this thread is the new virtue signaling by people chiding folks who just don't want to go to strip clubs and still want to "support" their friends.
 
Old Yesterday, 10:10 AM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Exactly!

But the ďadultĒ thing isnít to jump off a cliff if all your friends are, the adult thing is to stay true to yourself. Admit it if you like half naked people dancing around and potentially rubbing on you! Admit it if you think itís good times and giggles to shove dollars in someoneís undies!

Donít use the ďother kidsĒ as an excuse if youíre an adult. Donít get it twisted and tell people who wonít participate in that kind of activity that they arenít acting as adults. An adult is honest with themself.

The question became, support your friend, but where do you draw the line? You draw the line where you can stand up for yourself and own it.

1. Iím doing this because I like it.
2. Iím doing this because my values come second to my friends who planned the party.
Or
3. I donít support this, donít like it (for me), and wonít be going.

Maybe itís easier for a woman to say all her life sheís avoided strange men who may suddenly take their clothes off and dance around and grind on her, tonight she canít suddenly pretend to think itís fun.

Whereas a man may lean more towards thinking hereís a good opportunity to play out the fantasy of an attractive woman taking her clothes off and seducing him with a little dance.

Itís not the ďdrinks and good times with friendsĒ that anyone is debating.


If a guy loves going to see strip shows ......that will show through in his lifestyle long before he gets invited to a bachelor party. He would go on his own ....& not just one time as part of a party. The mistake is to be with a insecure man that would go to strip clubs instead of having a fullfillfing intimate relationship......but who would? Guys that are happy with healthy physical relationships don't need that stuff. IMO it has more to do with being sad...lonely....or afraid to live your life, kinda like when people limit their social contact & relationships to online or meet in dating apps but never actually meet in real because they are unhappily married or afraid.....then say you can't trust people online & that you are lonely. That's nothing like going to a bachelor party for a best friend....or jumping off a cliff.... IMO.
 
Old Yesterday, 10:22 AM
 
7,638 posts, read 3,002,418 times
Reputation: 12603
Well, that:
Quote:
sad...lonely....or afraid to live your life, kinda like when people limit their social contact & relationships to online or meet in dating apps but never actually meet in real because they are unhappily married or afraid.....
has exactly nothing to do with what I just posted.
It may be time for me to quit kicking this dead horse.
Have a good day!
 
Old Yesterday, 10:24 AM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Well, that:

has exactly nothing to do with what I just posted.
It may be time for me to quit kicking this dead horse.
Have a good day!
it has to do with it because I was comparing it to the kinda guy who likes going to strip shows....outside of bachelor parties...........& thank you. You too!
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