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Old Yesterday, 12:09 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108

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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Besides all this, you do reaize your man is going to get aroused by the stripper?
Male hormones. Do they get aroused seeing a girl in a bikini on the beach too....another regular part of life? It means nothing......even if it was true .....because they aren't sleeping with or touching every girl they see.....& a bachelor party is one time for their friend. There is some stuff in movies that can arouse too....maybe we should keep all men from watching R rated movies........because oh no...if they see a topless woman on the screen they won't love us anymore.......

If they go regularly ...it's different....but IMO that is about loneliness & not living a happy life for the men that do it ...more than it is about physical stuff & finding real women & real relationships. I'd be more worried about women who flirt with him at work...with their clothes on....because that's personal.....a woman dancing on stage for a bachelor party for a best friend...while lots of other stuff is going on too...is nothing......

BUT that's just my opinion.......you have yours.........

 
Old Yesterday, 12:10 PM
 
Location: So Cal
14,795 posts, read 10,839,492 times
Reputation: 14279
One time some of us were at a local bar, and the bartender's girlfriend (they were both around 50) had hired a surprise stripper for his birthday. She came in and did her thing to a pretty full bar of both male and female customers. He cracked up when the stripper came in, and since his girlfriend and all of their friends were there, obviously nothing untoward was going to happen. So, that was about as harmless as it gets.

Another time, when I was in my 20s, I went to a bachelorette party for an in-law. We went to a bar and someone had hired male strippers for it. They would do their thing dancing and then would also come and give personal attention to us. One of them was particularly aggressive. He came in close to kiss me and tried to use his tongue. Then he put his hands between my knees and tried to pull my legs apart. I thought he was joking, but then he was being persistent about it. I was wearing a skirt. If I hadn't stopped him, I don't know how far he would have gone. So I get the whole "Har har, it's harmless" talk, and I'm sure a lot of the times, it is, but it's not always. That's all I'm saying.

There's discussion here about this being a rite of passage and having to accept it whether you like it or not. What was funny about the last situation is that the bride-to-be really didn't want to be there. She didn't like it at all and was pretty grossed out about it. She seemed very uncomfortable the whole time and wouldn't let them do anything with her. She probably enjoyed it less than anyone there. I guess she just felt she had to do it, for tradition.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:12 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Male hormones. Do they get aroused seeing a girl in a bikini on the beach too....another regular part of life? It means nothing......even if it was true .....because they aren't sleeping with or touching every girl they see.....& a bachelor party is one time for their friend. There is some stuff in movies that can arouse too....maybe we should keep all men from watching R rated movies........because oh no...if they see a topless woman on the screen they won't love us anymore.......

If they go regularly ...it's different....but IMO that is about loneliness & not living a happy life for the men that do it ...more than it is about physical stuff & finding real women & real relationships. I'd be more worried about women who flirt with him at work...with their clothes on....because that's personal.....a woman dancing on stage for a bachelor party for a best friend...while lots of other stuff is going on too...is nothing......

BUT that's just my opinion.......you have yours.........
Seeing a girl in a bikini at the beach is different from a nude girl (or girl in lingerie) rubbing on your man, whose profession is also to be as sexy as possible and arouse men as much as possible.

I an not judging it. If you dont mind your man being aroused by another woman and probably fantasizing about her at a later date, either while masturbating or having sex with you, it makes no difference to me.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:13 PM
 
Location: So Cal
14,795 posts, read 10,839,492 times
Reputation: 14279
As far as the comments about female posters here sounding "old," I would say that older women usually care less about this kind of stuff than younger women do. Speaking for myself, I'm much less jealous and insecure now than when I was young.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:16 PM
 
1,046 posts, read 345,099 times
Reputation: 1747
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
How would you feel about your man putting a porno on while having sex with you? And looking at the screen instead of you?
We do it all the time! Usually because I request it.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,732 posts, read 8,560,613 times
Reputation: 29454
I never understood the idea of people believing their spouses or significant others are their property. People truly think this. That attitude is akin to slavery, IMO. "My husband can't be with anyone else because he's MINE!" Wrong. Every person is their own person; they belong to no one else. Marriage is a legal contract, and bf/gf means nothing at all. If my spouse wants to be with someone else, go for it. If they come back, our relationship was meant to be. If not, I wasn't the right one for them. Just don't bring home a disease
 
Old Yesterday, 12:20 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy_C View Post
We do it all the time! Usually because I request it.
You enjoy that?
 
Old Yesterday, 12:27 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
Reputation: 39206
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Besides all this, you do reaize your man is going to get aroused by the stripper?
Men get aroused by the women at work, in the supermarket, jogging by on the side of the road, etc etc.

To me the chances of a guy actually cheating would be much higher if they had the drunken party at a regular nightclub. There they are getting aroused watching half naked women in tiny dresses dance, except those women are also drunk and might be aroused back, while that will not be the case with a paid dancer.

That said I think hiring a stripper for a private party at a house is very different than going to a strip club, which is what I think of when I think of today’s bachelor parties.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,631 posts, read 42,225,424 times
Reputation: 84061
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
I agree, alot of the tone in this thread has the feel of grandmas yelling at kids to "get off their lawn".
Really? Which posts in particular?

I've seen a few pretty good points, from people who take the time to think harder about the topic, but most of the thread has turned repetitive. People keep circling around to the same statements, with the occasional exhibitionist who gets off bragging about how open they are stopping by.

Has nothing to do with grandmas.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:32 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
Reputation: 39206
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass View Post
One time some of us were at a local bar, and the bartender's girlfriend (they were both around 50) had hired a surprise stripper for his birthday. She came in and did her thing to a pretty full bar of both male and female customers. He cracked up when the stripper came in, and since his girlfriend and all of their friends were there, obviously nothing untoward was going to happen. So, that was about as harmless as it gets.

Another time, when I was in my 20s, I went to a bachelorette party for an in-law. We went to a bar and someone had hired male strippers for it. They would do their thing dancing and then would also come and give personal attention to us. One of them was particularly aggressive. He came in close to kiss me and tried to use his tongue. Then he put his hands between my knees and tried to pull my legs apart. I thought he was joking, but then he was being persistent about it. I was wearing a skirt. If I hadn't stopped him, I don't know how far he would have gone. So I get the whole "Har har, it's harmless" talk, and I'm sure a lot of the times, it is, but it's not always. That's all I'm saying.

There's discussion here about this being a rite of passage and having to accept it whether you like it or not. What was funny about the last situation is that the bride-to-be really didn't want to be there. She didn't like it at all and was pretty grossed out about it. She seemed very uncomfortable the whole time and wouldn't let them do anything with her. She probably enjoyed it less than anyone there. I guess she just felt she had to do it, for tradition.
Well I think what the bride and groom wants is the most important consideration. The maid of honor should know her well enough to know if she’d like that. I am very surprised the bride wouldn’t have had some input though. If it were me I’d have said “nothing raunchy, please”. My niece told us what she wanted her party to be. I also don’t think the bride or groom should have this kind of party if their intended isn’t okay with it.
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