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Old Today, 02:27 PM
 
1,046 posts, read 345,099 times
Reputation: 1747

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Could be any number of things, maybe SHE doesn't make any effort to be sexy for her man, maybe she takes for granted that he'll always be there. Maybe, she doesn't want to spice up her love life with him, maybe all of this is the case and, she knows it, but has the nerve to say what she would or wouldn't put up with (because she's insecure). Guys aint putting up with it today either.
Maybe none of these things. They might just have good wings and cheap beers and it's a great place to hang out with friends. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with him, with her, or with their relationship.

 
Old Today, 02:31 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Yes, if he wanted one. My ex didn’t and I know my fiancť wouldn’t either. Both would have consider it cheating (aside from that both would be too self conscious) I’ve had other exes who would have. So again it comes back to who are you are in a relationship with and whether that person shares your values. I know my fiancť would not do anything so disrespectful to me even if he wanted to.

He would in reality be so worried that I wasn’t truly ok with him going that he would probably sneak out and call me every half hour to make sure I’m not mad and assure me I’m more beautiful than any of them.
I suppose the even more respectful thing to do would be to not go at all, and set up a different G rated bachelor party where they just go out for wings and pizza.

I guess Im just finding the attitude of "Hes not really interested in the stripper. Its peer pressure!" to be a bit naive.

How about having a bachelor party with no lingerie clad dancing girls?
 
Old Today, 02:39 PM
 
753 posts, read 450,814 times
Reputation: 660
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I suppose the even more respectful thing to do would be to not go at all, and set up a different G rated bachelor party where they just go out for wings and pizza.

I guess Im just finding the attitude of "Hes not really interested in the stripper. Its peer pressure!" to be a bit naive.

How about having a bachelor party with no lingerie clad dancing girls?
people do stuff like this all the time. their party, their choice.
 
Old Today, 02:39 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Could be any number of things, maybe SHE doesn't make any effort to be sexy for her man, maybe she takes for granted that he'll always be there. Maybe, she doesn't want to spice up her love life with him, maybe all of this is the case and, she knows it, but has the nerve to say what she would or wouldn't put up with (because she's insecure). Guys aint putting up with it today either.
But he said she does put up with it....she just doesn't want to know so he pays cash..........that is sad IMO & it still doesn't answer why he does it in the 1st place. Ita tho....he isn't happy & it doesn't sound like she is either.......
 
Old Today, 02:42 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rya96797 View Post
people do stuff like this all the time. their party, their choice.
It is their choice. Its also a choice to say "I find strippers classless. How about we all go out the night before for wings and pizza, and Ill bow out of the stripper party."

If hes not doing that its because he likes the stripper party, as much as he might try to deny it.
 
Old Today, 02:47 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
Reputation: 39206
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I suppose the even more respectful thing to do would be to not go at all, and set up a different G rated bachelor party where they just go out for wings and pizza.

I guess Im just finding the attitude of "Hes not really interested in the stripper. Its peer pressure!" to be a bit naive.

How about having a bachelor party with no lingerie clad dancing girls?
Again, most people donít. Itís mostly young people who do this. Again I think weíre judging people who are young and still a bit wild the same as we would judge our husbandís at 40 and 50. Itís not the same. I think a certain subset of young guys are going to go out and get crazy while most older people really dont want to do that anymore to that degree. If they go to a nightclub again I think the chances for crossing lines are much higher than they are in a go go bar, where a giant bouncer is going to bash your head and toss you out on your ear if you try to touch.
 
Old Today, 02:48 PM
 
9,024 posts, read 5,196,634 times
Reputation: 10266
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I suppose the even more respectful thing to do would be to not go at all, and set up a different G rated bachelor party where they just go out for wings and pizza.

I guess Im just finding the attitude of "Hes not really interested in the stripper. Its peer pressure!" to be a bit naive.

How about having a bachelor party with no lingerie clad dancing girls?
Thats up to the groom, isnt it?
 
Old Today, 02:50 PM
 
9,024 posts, read 5,196,634 times
Reputation: 10266
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
It is their choice. Its also a choice to say "I find strippers classless. How about we all go out the night before for wings and pizza, and Ill bow out of the stripper party."

If hes not doing that its because he likes the stripper party, as much as he might try to deny it.
Whats wrong with him liking the stripper party?
 
Old Today, 02:52 PM
 
7,639 posts, read 3,002,418 times
Reputation: 12603
Some very naive posts here. Ask a stripper about bachelor parties if you dare. 😉
 
Old Today, 02:55 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Again, most people donít. Itís mostly young people who do this. Again I think weíre judging people who are young and still a bit wild the same as we would judge our husbandís at 40 and 50. Itís not the same. I think a certain subset of young guys are going to go out and get crazy while most older people really dont want to do that anymore to that degree. If they go to a nightclub again I think the chances for crossing lines are much higher than they are in a go go bar, where a giant bouncer is going to bash your head and toss you out on your ear if you try to touch.
I was young not too long ago. Its not hard to remember how it was.

I also think with life experience and age comes wisdom. Maybe its time to rethink the tradition of strippers at a bachelor party? Maybe its not such a good idea. As women its up to us to set boundaries on what we find appropriate in our bfs/husbands. Its one thing to not feel anything about it, but the fact OP made this thread suggests she is feeling anxious about it.

Its about respect. If ones partner respects them they will prioritize that over a silly party. If the guy dismisses her feelings or tries to rationalize it away that is a red flag.
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