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Old Today, 03:03 PM
 
9,024 posts, read 5,196,634 times
Reputation: 10266

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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I was young not too long ago. Its not hard to remember how it was.

I also think with life experience and age comes wisdom. Maybe its time to rethink the tradition of strippers at a bachelor party? Maybe its not such a good idea. As women its up to us to set boundaries on what we find appropriate in our bfs/husbands. Its one thing to not feel anything about it, but the fact OP made this thread suggests she is feeling anxious about it.

Its about respect. If ones partner respects them they will prioritize that over a silly party. If the guy dismisses her feelings or tries to rationalize it away that is a red flag.
But despite your statement that you know better than OP does how she feels, you don't. If she's OK with it, then what is it to you?

 
Old Today, 03:03 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
Reputation: 39206
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I was young not too long ago. Its not hard to remember how it was.

I also think with life experience and age comes wisdom. Maybe its time to rethink the tradition of strippers at a bachelor party? Maybe its not such a good idea. As women its up to us to set boundaries on what we find appropriate in our bfs/husbands. Its one thing to not feel anything about it, but the fact OP made this thread suggests she is feeling anxious about it.

Its about respect. If ones partner respects them they will prioritize that over a silly party. If the guy dismisses her feelings or tries to rationalize it away that is a red flag.
Well as I said earlier I don’t think anyone should have this kind of party unless their partner is okay with it. Nowadays the younger girls are doing the same thing. My fiancé wouldn’t want this kind of party (he’d want to go camping probably) so as I said it comes down to the character of your partner.

I just am not on board with judging the folks who do want this, nor am I on board with judging the strippers.
 
Old Today, 03:08 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Well as I said earlier I don’t think anyone should have this kind of party unless their partner is okay with it. Nowadays the younger girls are doing the same thing. My fiancé wouldn’t want this kind of party (he’d want to go camping probably) so as I said it comes down to the character of your partner.

I just am not on board with judging the folks who do want this, nor am I on board with judging the strippers.
My Bf wouldn't have one with girls either......but we aren't engaged anyways....so.....

BUT ita....I don't judge if someone else wants to do it........I would probably copy the spa day & champagne idea for my bachelorette party if I ever got married again..............
 
Old Today, 03:10 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
But despite your statement that you know better than OP does how she feels, you don't. If she's OK with it, then what is it to you?
Its not anything to me. Whats it to you?

Its the behavior of defending a "tradition" so vehemently that strikes me as odd.

Its been said, people can hire strippers if they want. Its their party. I never argued with that.

But some ITT argue that the other people have no choice but to go along, to support the groom.

Im asking, what if that person doesnt want to? What if his wife or girlfriend doesnt want him to?

The response keeps being that Im middle aged or something.

Are people not allowed to decline going to a bachelor party if there are strippers there, if for whatever reason they want to decline?
 
Old Today, 03:16 PM
 
9,024 posts, read 5,196,634 times
Reputation: 10266
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Its not anything to me. Whats it to you?

Its the behavior of defending a "tradition" so vehemently that strikes me as odd.
Im not defending a tradition, Im saying you dont know how the OP feels. If its nothing to you, then why are you doing it?

I am perfectly willing to take her at her word.
 
Old Today, 03:17 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
Reputation: 39206
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Its not anything to me. Whats it to you?

Its the behavior of defending a "tradition" so vehemently that strikes me as odd.

Its been said, people can hire strippers if they want. Its their party. I never argued with that.

But some ITT argue that the other people have no choice but to go along, to support the groom.

Im asking, what if that person doesnt want to? What if his wife or girlfriend doesnt want him to?

The response keeps being that Im middle aged or something.

Are people not allowed to decline going to a bachelor party if there are strippers there, if for whatever reason they want to decline?

I don't recall anyone saying you should feel forced to go. Just that many of us would put their feelings aside to make their family member/friend happy. I'm guessing though if the groom is a wild child who like this sort of thing and you're that conservative, you probably wouldn't be friends with him in the first place.
 
Old Today, 03:21 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
Im not defending a tradition, Im saying you dont know how the OP feels. If its nothing to you, then why are you doing it?

I am perfectly willing to take her at her word.
Only OP knows how she feels about it. This thread has taken on a broader perspective now though and I find it a valuable conversarion and enlightening.

My goal here is just to empower women to set standards for how your bf/husband treats you, for any who read this and who it might apply to.

If you are uncomfortable with your man going to a bachelor party with strippers, he should respect that and not go. If an alternate g rated party is insufficient for him then you know it was the strippers he wanted.

If that is ok with you, fine. If its not, he should honor your wishes imo.
 
Old Today, 03:27 PM
 
9,024 posts, read 5,196,634 times
Reputation: 10266
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Only OP knows how she feels about it.
That's exactly right. And that is why I took exception to your statement in post #280.
 
Old Today, 03:32 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
That's exactly right. And that is why I took exception to your statement in post #280.
You're getting sidetracked from the point. I didnt claim I know how OP feels but Id not be surprised if she were quite anxious about it.

This is a woman who claims her husband cheated on her after all, producing a baby. If thats true some residual unresolved feelings around cheating would be expected.

But only she knows. I dont have ESP.
 
Old Today, 03:58 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Only OP knows how she feels about it. This thread has taken on a broader perspective now though and I find it a valuable conversarion and enlightening.

My goal here is just to empower women to set standards for how your bf/husband treats you, for any who read this and who it might apply to.

If you are uncomfortable with your man going to a bachelor party with strippers, he should respect that and not go. If an alternate g rated party is insufficient for him then you know it was the strippers he wanted.

If that is ok with you, fine. If its not, he should honor your wishes imo.
Empowering other women is so much more.....than a one night bachelor party when you are perfectly fine with it & trust your man.....

What isn't so fine.......is a man always going to strip clubs & having to pay for it in cash to hide it from his wife or Gf....like some guy said before. It's being strong enough to walk away from being disrespected.......from cheating.......from abuse..........& being able to stand on your own two feet with your own opinions & your own life & career.....& being confident in yourself & your relationship.....so that every time he sees a topless girl on TV or on a beach......we don't fall apart in fear or insecurity. If you are not trustful of your man, then don't be in the relationship in the 1st place....

A N D.......if he cheats...lies...or disrespects you.......then it's having the power to L E A V E..........
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