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Old Today, 10:02 PM
8 posts, read 2,279 times
Reputation: 10


Thanks again. And I have posted on here quite thoroughly because it gives me the ability to get my thoughts down and it helps me to use this as a form of therapy. Also, the advice I get on here is truly appreciated, and it does help me; your time is appreciated.

I waited until I was ready to talk to her, and I finally did.
I just said to her that I felt like she was lying so we talked. I asked her questions as to what she did again, and she gave me the same bs story. So, I said I wish she wouldn't lie to me and she said she wasn't and slowly walked away saying how it's not right that I think she's a liar, ect.

This will either be worked on or not. But now I feel like I'm the bad person cause I actually had to snoop around in order to find this out, it really bothers me that I went to that level, not a good moral feeling on my end, but I did feel trapped like I knew there was something wrong and she would never tell me. I don't want to make excuses, but how are people really supposed to get an answer if they don't snoop around? I know it's wrong, and I feel low and like garbage, but it's either you trust with the possibility of having your heart crushed or if you're that insecure you should leave. But then how can anyone really know their partner, if that feeling comes and goes and their partner really is doing something wrong? I understand through conversations you'd figure things out, but really, they could still be lying cause without the crappy snooping I would never know. Insecurity could come and go, and hunches of someone's wrong doing the same, and conversations help get you through, and in the end you could be taken advantage of or could have been taken advantage of the entire time; so love is given with the possibly of becoming a person you don't want to be. Please help me to know how to not ever snoop again?

Last edited by tchest77; Today at 10:16 PM..
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Old Today, 11:05 PM
7,595 posts, read 2,992,664 times
Reputation: 12575
But are you in a better place for “knowing”? Did she cheat on you, or rearrange words and circumstances so that she wouldn’t experience the wrath of you being mad, and telling her she wasn’t obeying your commands? (Whether you flap your arms and raise your voice or not, someone who lives with you knows when you are mad.)
You have to quit watching her every move and spying on her. Tell her you trust she’ll do the right thing, and leave it at that. You’re currently forcing your worst nightmare to come true.
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