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Old 07-21-2019, 05:55 AM
 
2,064 posts, read 563,648 times
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I was wondering, are on-again, off-again relationships a really sign of that it should be off altogether? Are they typically toxic relationships?
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Old 07-21-2019, 07:22 AM
 
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...-relationships
If it happens too often, maybe say after the third time, that would be a decent benchmark to discuss how to move on. Maybe fun and no commitment could be okay and/or building a platonic friendship, but living together is a bad idea, for example.
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Old 07-21-2019, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Southern California
5,531 posts, read 8,182,383 times
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I'm personlly NOT for breaking up & getting back together. With me, it must have been a legit, serious reason to break up in which I don't want to go down that road again.

Maybe these are the only LEGIT reasons to get back together in my book:

- a couple was too young
- the timing wasn't right in one or both of their lives to date at the time (in which they dated for a bit at 1st, but realized it was wrong timing)


Of course, NEVER get back w/ ANYONE if it involved:

- abusive behavior
- alcoholism or doing drugs
- gambling
- controlling & lying behavior
- cheating/affairs
- person is lazy & never gets anywhere in life
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Old 07-21-2019, 07:30 AM
 
290 posts, read 94,311 times
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Yes, there is a fundamental incompatibility (sometimes one person or both is a runner, no one is compatable with a runner.) in an on / off relationship. The drama of on / off tends to hide that incompatibility. Yes it probably should be off.
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Old 07-21-2019, 07:31 AM
 
14,472 posts, read 17,417,816 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
I was wondering, are on-again, off-again relationships a really sign of that it should be off altogether? Are they typically toxic relationships?
Yes.

Someone just has to have to will power to make it all off. And sometimes that will power comes from finding somebody new.
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Old 07-21-2019, 11:05 AM
 
18 posts, read 3,508 times
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Yes, without a doubt this a toxic cycle. If you keep breaking up there are things that make it hard for you to live/get along with this person. I think the hard thing is you can really love and care for people who are not good for you at all. It's tough admitting this and moving on.
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Old 07-21-2019, 02:13 PM
 
Location: California
866 posts, read 236,946 times
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Yeah, my rule is if we break up once, we stay broken up. I'll make an effort to stay together if I really care about someone. I'm not the type of person to dump someone in a fit of rage or say things I don't mean when angry. So if I break up, I really mean it and am done for good.
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Old 07-21-2019, 05:02 PM
 
Location: the Old Dominion
298 posts, read 151,261 times
Reputation: 1394
Default ...let's try this one...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
I'm personlly NOT for breaking up & getting back together. With me, it must have been a legit, serious reason to break up in which I don't want to go down that road again.

Maybe these are the only LEGIT reasons to get back together in my book:

- a couple was too young
- the timing wasn't right in one or both of their lives to date at the time (in which they dated for a bit at 1st, but realized it was wrong timing)


Of course, NEVER get back w/ ANYONE if it involved:

- abusive behavior
- alcoholism or doing drugs
- gambling
- controlling & lying behavior
- cheating/affairs
- person is lazy & never gets anywhere in life
Well,....if they will not allow the Ten Commandments displayed in public schools, how 'bout we put these up?
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Old 07-22-2019, 03:52 AM
 
12,354 posts, read 13,610,888 times
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This, to me, sounds like two immature people who can’t discuss their feelings without storming off saying they are done.
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Old 07-22-2019, 07:17 AM
 
Location: around
713 posts, read 242,728 times
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l don't know , l know a few that have out lived most.. l'm not talking some week or 5 yr nothing bs, 30yrs, one 38.
For me it's a complicated thing , can be many angles. like l'm sure many of us that have lived and found out,
And then there's nationalities, some are just hot heads and need to let it out , got a bit of that blood myself but in the end it's only noise and they'd actually walk through fire for their partner.

But yeah for sure , it could simply be incompatibility too, l suppose that's the real tricky one because that can also be so intense.

interesting someone said they're often runners, yeah , l wonder.
So like for example someone might seem like a lovely person but they've been married 3 times.
3 is a lot , right. So would they be a runner, is that the real reason they've been married 3 times, you know.

Over all though, you would think most on offs just aren't a good sign l suppose and just incompatibility, l think mine was.

Last edited by hawk101; 07-22-2019 at 07:31 AM..
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