Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The Pretty Belgian Woman Who Convinced Me Just How Bad Dating Has Become
The author said she definitely wasn't wrong, and reminiscence to a time where he actually had to pick up a wall phone to call his first high school date.
He counters this woman and said how "we stupid Americans" to all our dating via our apps.
“You’re so stupid. You all have your dating apps on your smart phones and you sit all day and swipe, swipe, swipe, and you all have like 600 people you can meet and find love, but none of you actually dates anyone anymore.”
And then the author reflected on this as amendable, as he was thinking, "Yeah, she ain't wrong!"
She continues:
"Here in Belgium, if we go on one date and we like that person, we don’t date anyone else until we’re done seeing if that is going to work out. If we kiss someone, we are a couple until we break things off. We don’t go out with anyone else.”
Nowadays, it has become too easy. It is no longer terrifying the way it once was. People we can potentially date come to us in bulk and we have our perceived pick of the litter. We go on dates and we go on more dates and we go on even more dates. We make these great connections, and then so many of them fizzle before they really go anywhere because we always have two or three more dates lined up on the heels of the last. So, why would it matter if any one single date fails to lead anywhere great?
We pick people apart like we didn’t ever do in the past. We look for red flags and we ride those red flags right into Lonelyville, always sure that somebody just a little bit better exists somewhere on our list of matches if we can just go out with enough people to find them.
Before the days of the dating websites and apps and before the days of texting, dating was so awkward and terrifying for most of us that when we found someone we liked, we did what the Belgium woman does. We held onto that until we absolutely were sure it wouldn’t work out. We did it because getting back into the dating scene again brought most of us some form of PTSD.
So some who really think this is actually better are kind of being sucked into this de-tached world of online dating and not the organic way. Now, there are some have met and actually had success and such, but I think there's this abundance mentality that the Belgian woman had expressed with the 600+ people that people are matched up with .
I am now waiting for the article talking about men leaving for Belgium.
But if you're older, most people are already in relationships with families and they are not open to letting themselves 'get to know' members of the opposite sex, even those that might be better for them.
But for people under 33ish, it's a good strategy.
Of all the women I work with over 40, one is single. So, you definitely are going to have to go fishing a bit.
I don't know if that's true. I'm 37 and meet single guys around my age without really trying. For everyone who's marrying, someone else is divorcing. Plus there are independent-minded people like me who've been doing their own thing. There are always going to be plenty of single people of all ages.
People who have a scarcity mindset usually get what they believe. If they think "there are no good men left" then they will see a world with no good men left. It also depends on their lifestyle. If they remain in a small community with a limited amount of people for years, then they're only going to have access to those people. Compare that to someone like me who lives on the road (digital nomad) and who is always seeing new places and coming across new groups of people.
Life is a reflection of the attitudes we hold and the choices we make.
All of this is why I don't really "date" in the sense of going out and purposefully meeting strangers to see if there can be a romantic connection.
I just wait for connections to naturally occur. And when a connection does naturally occur, usually you only notice it because it's powerful. The sort of connection I want is something so rare and special that when it does happen, both people are not likely to be thinking about seeing anyone else.
I think people who are constantly out looking for love and sorting through a million people trying to find "the one" have a very different approach. But still, it's the same. A real connection only comes around once in a while whether you stay single for years in between or fill the time by dating random people.
Yeah , pretty well how we do things, most people wait for that someone, l've never dated in my life, l don't need too not even before l was married, can never believe all this dating stuff in forums. When you meet someone with the stuff it's not some dating thing your both in day one, up nights, tingles head to toe, off your food, it's just there, why on earth would you even wanna mess with that and go out with some nobody on the side as well. Sure it didn't always work out but that's the only way it's ever been and anyone l've been with same.
Yet, the sort of woman l go for is one in millions,so it might've been years, but so be it,it's been the same for her too, what's the point otherwise, l'm not interested.
The article lost me when ‘a Belgium woman was waiting to be served at a sausage stand.’
Anyways, yeah, she is right. People should be exclusive until they feel it is not going to work. However, things are different now. More hookups, FWB and the like. Most people are not looking for committed relationships. Just have fun and get your rocks off. By third date she better be giving it up or guys move on seems like the norm.
I don’t know. I was in that era of land lines where you had to ask for the girl if her Dad answered. Scary stuff man. Especially when your voice is naturally cracking from puberty. Lol
I am now waiting for the article talking about men leaving for Belgium.
Well, this is just one of many articles that talk about this very subject. I'm sure that many Americans believe the same thing. Hell, some don't even have Facebook nor social media. Friend of mine left FB altogether due to the negativity being posted.
All of this is why I don't really "date" in the sense of going out and purposefully meeting strangers to see if there can be a romantic connection.
I just wait for connections to naturally occur. And when a connection does naturally occur, usually you only notice it because it's powerful. The sort of connection I want is something so rare and special that when it does happen, both people are not likely to be thinking about seeing anyone else.
I think people who are constantly out looking for love and sorting through a million people trying to find "the one" have a very different approach. But still, it's the same. A real connection only comes around once in a while whether you stay single for years in between or fill the time by dating random people.
I don't know. I'm a believer in the idea that love is a verb, something you do more so than something you feel. The trick is finding someone compatible who will reciprocate that.
Everyone has a different social life, too. I am generally either at work or hanging out with friends who I've had for a while. I don't have a lot of social interaction with _new_ people outside of work. So for me, finding a connection is really unlikely if I don't make a purposeful effort to date. Could you elaborate on the circumstances where you've had a connection naturally occur, without dating?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602
I am now waiting for the article talking about men leaving for Belgium.
Lol, right! Did you notice that the headline describes her as a "pretty Belgian woman"? Why are her looks relevant? Articles like this are entertainment..
Let me put this in perspective for everyone on here.
I am from Eastern Europe but have lived in US for a very long time. Recently, I have decided to conduct a small tinder experiment. I downloaded the app and signed up with a premium for a month which allows one to pick and swipe in any city in the world.
Long story short - when I swiped in my hometown (I hid my distance so as to avoid any foreign bias and to appear like I am actually there). In about two days I matched with 100+ amazing women. I spoke to many of them and they are real people with real lives. I even connected with some of them on instagram.
Then I changed location to Philly/Bensalem, PA and in about two weeks I had maybe 3 matches, none of whom were willing to talk anyway.
Same profile pics, same everything... So go figure. Maybe people see foreign name and automatically dismiss the person. I dunno :?
Last night I decided to go the extreme route and blindly swiped through everyone while I was watching a ballgame. And I literally did swipe through the entire local pool without looking at anyone. As of 3 pm today, I have received exactly one match - some African-american TG person.
So yeah, dating in US is apparently resting in peace. At least on Tinder, anyway.
Yeah , l found similar here , after my marriage l went on a local date site just to check out what it's like and look around.l'd never been on one they weren't around back before l was married. l wasn't really looking for a new relationship as yet though.
There were some damn nice women on there though and l talked to a lot , they were mostly all real and just ordinary women in something like a similar sitch as me, broken marriage or whatnot , just trying out a date site and a quiet maybe of meeting someone special.
There was none of this stuff ya see in forums , sounds like a nightmare there.
Let me put this in perspective for everyone on here.
I am from Eastern Europe but have lived in US for a very long time. Recently, I have decided to conduct a small tinder experiment. I downloaded the app and signed up with a premium for a month which allows one to pick and swipe in any city in the world.
Long story short - when I swiped in my hometown (I hid my distance so as to avoid any foreign bias and to appear like I am actually there). In about two days I matched with 100+ amazing women. I spoke to many of them and they are real people with real lives. I even connected with some of them on instagram.
Then I changed location to Philly/Bensalem, PA and in about two weeks I had maybe 3 matches, none of whom were willing to talk anyway.
Same profile pics, same everything... So go figure. Maybe people see foreign name and automatically dismiss the person. I dunno :?
Last night I decided to go the extreme route and blindly swiped through everyone while I was watching a ballgame. And I literally did swipe through the entire local pool without looking at anyone. As of 3 pm today, I have received exactly one match - some African-american TG person.
So yeah, dating in US is apparently resting in peace. At least on Tinder, anyway.
YES...this post 100 x'S...and deserving of this Office MEME!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
