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Old 07-24-2019, 12:38 PM
 
7,601 posts, read 2,995,506 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
Well, you could find a happy medium and don't live together. It's a new thing now called, "Living but living apart" or something. So that way, if he/she is a slob, it's not like you will be living among it all. lol

It's actually called: Called "living apart together", or "LAT" as many can be committed, exclusive and still independent. Living with another person is difficult at times, especially someone you love. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't, not after 3 years of empty nesting and never having anyone else's dishes and laundry. I don't want to watch NASCAR, I would rather not even tune it out.

I'm so much more interested in focusing on the other person when we're together, if I get time to focus uninterrupted on things when we are apart. Seriously, 2 night maximum, don't settle in.
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,562 posts, read 1,632,335 times
Reputation: 4497
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
It's actually called: Called "living apart together", or "LAT" as many can be committed, exclusive and still independent. Living with another person is difficult at times, especially someone you love. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't, not after 3 years of empty nesting and never having anyone else's dishes and laundry. I don't want to watch NASCAR, I would rather not even tune it out.
Is hell freezing over, or are we actually agreeing on a relationship concept? I'd sell my soul to have a LAT relationship.
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:32 PM
 
6,794 posts, read 2,447,917 times
Reputation: 15602
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
To get anyone up to speed and save him the trouble, since I've only been arguing (but...politely arguing, I think, usually?) with MillennialUrbanist for what, years now?... He has issues stemming from his parents' relationship, what he has been told about his friends' relationships and why these men no longer come out to hang out with him, and sitcoms, seasoned with a heavy dose of red pill-ish men's movement websites, that all have informed him that women are tyrannical shrieking shrews who ruin the lives of men. Married men never do anything but mow the grass and go to church lest they risk the couch or the "doghouse." That is his belief. So be it, he isn't trying to be in a relationship anyways. (He is here to warn others.)



Right! Which means that, as it happens in your generally healthy and happy cohabiting relationship, you have at least vaguely similar preferences for housekeeping standards, and...

a.) He does not behave in ways that are irresponsible, childish, or inconsiderate.
b.) You do not behave in ways that are tyrannical, demanding, shrewish, or controlling.

In other words you guys are normal people who can enjoy being in a relationship together. Yay! My fiance and I are, too. I'm pretty sure that for every relationship that features this sort of "drama" there are several that do not. I don't think that it's rare.
You are completely right to all of this. :-)
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,904 posts, read 3,782,041 times
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From a previous thread it was stated that men have really high sex drives and sexual urges. If true, then he may not be thinking clearly when he pursues a woman and he may overlook "drama" or inappropriate behavior, if his sexual urges are propelling him towards that particular female.
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,904 posts, read 3,782,041 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
Right, and I have something nearly like that with my fiance. We live under the same roof, but he's got
Now. Imagine it is my partner. And that in addition to doing all of the above...which my ex did...he is also constantly yelling at everyone. And not only does he expect to be able to sit around spending his days enjoying entertainment (naps, games, TV) but he also expects sex after I come home from work and try to put a dent in the house mess. I'm working every waking moment and he is mad that I won't give up sleep to take care of his needs? And then what if there are small children and the woman is providing all of their care, on top of that?.
It is like hell on earth to live in this situation. Working 24/7 and being expected to sexually satisfy a partner all at the same time. I think most people hate finding out what they signed up for with the marriage certificate.
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Old 07-24-2019, 02:20 PM
 
7,601 posts, read 2,995,506 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
Is hell freezing over, or are we actually agreeing on a relationship concept? I'd sell my soul to have a LAT relationship.
You don't have to sell your soul, you get to keep it intact. It just takes a few trial and errors to find someone secure enough to know its not an excuse to sneak other people in. Trial and errors can be fun though! At least learning experiences...the older you get the more likely you'll find someone living completely alone who is ok with you leaving to your own place. I actually feel more domesticated and willing to make dinner and clean up, when its my house and no one is trying to get me to wait on them.
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Old 07-24-2019, 04:33 PM
 
Location: around
722 posts, read 247,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
It is like hell on earth to live in this situation. Working 24/7 and being expected to sexually satisfy a partner all at the same time. I think most people hate finding out what they signed up for with the marriage certificate.



Time and work and the whole box of rocks is a huge thing in marriage.lt goes both ways often he's the one doing all the hours or has a ton of stress and she's complaining about all the same things.
Your right , marriage is damn tough and a lot of pressure when things start getting like this.
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Old 07-24-2019, 04:42 PM
 
Location: around
722 posts, read 247,329 times
Reputation: 648
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
Is hell freezing over, or are we actually agreeing on a relationship concept? I'd sell my soul to have a LAT relationship.



Yeah , l've sort of got it but not forever. She's been up in her city on and off for 12 mths now . l actually don't mind it tbh. We do both miss being together especially at night but it's also really nice to have the place to myself again and just live me while she's up home.
Drama and expectation free too haha.
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Old 07-25-2019, 05:44 AM
 
2,090 posts, read 574,443 times
Reputation: 1359
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
It's actually called: Called "living apart together", or "LAT" as many can be committed, exclusive and still independent. Living with another person is difficult at times, especially someone you love. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't, not after 3 years of empty nesting and never having anyone else's dishes and laundry. I don't want to watch NASCAR, I would rather not even tune it out.

I'm so much more interested in focusing on the other person when we're together, if I get time to focus uninterrupted on things when we are apart. Seriously, 2 night maximum, don't settle in.
You know, this made me think of some of the women I meet that are in LDR (Long Dist relationships). I think some prefer it that way in order for them to have their space. But I guess it depends on the distance.

One woman I knew at work had a guy that lived 2 hrs away, just far away enough so he wouldn't be attempted to pop in at her place multiple times a week. Basically, she didn't want a guy all up in her grill if he lived locally.

Some have dudes that live multiple states away, but I can't help but to think that he may have a side chick, locally. lol. There's just at temptation to cheat there.
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Old 07-25-2019, 06:11 AM
 
Location: NJ = liberalism is a mental disorder!
6,460 posts, read 4,411,431 times
Reputation: 3937
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I’m talking about DATING PROFILES.

The fantasy of the “No drama” relationship.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/20/o...pid-drama.html

I think it is a fantasy as life happpens and some drama will exist IMO.


Be well my friend!
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