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Old Today, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Iowa
134 posts, read 27,405 times
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Some of the posts on this forum are perfect examples of "drama" and why it isn't desirable..
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Old Today, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Fredericksburg/Virginia Beach, VA
10,704 posts, read 11,110,503 times
Reputation: 14105
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Of course he can't put it down in detail, but saying "No drama" is going to scare away some women who he would find good because the definition is so broad.


Years ago, a wise male friend of mine told me to write a dating profile that was general, unspecific and happy/positive, and that I would attract EVERY kind of male, because I would just look like a cute happy woman and all men like that. And then after they come (to my inbox), I can weed out the ones that don't fit my specific criteria. So that is what I did and it worked. I believe men should do the same. Don't write what you don't want, be positive and filter later. I don't think men get hundreds of messages from women to filter through anyway, so they should take this approach. I'm talking about single men here. I believe you are married.
I definitely agree with that: write what you want not what you’re trying to avoid. People who are into drama usually are in denial or completely oblivious to how unpleasant they are to be around. It’s not like anyone is going to read a profile and say, “here’s a match! Oh wait, no drama. Well, that’s me, so...”

So despite believing “drama” is generally more understood on a profile than not, I do agree it’s pointless to include it.
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Old Today, 08:40 AM
 
14,472 posts, read 17,399,736 times
Reputation: 11258
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
I definitely agree with that: write what you want not what you’re trying to avoid. People who are into drama usually are in denial or completely oblivious to how unpleasant they are to be around. It’s not like anyone is going to read a profile and say, “here’s a match! Oh wait, no drama. Well, that’s me, so...”

So despite believing “drama” is generally more understood on a profile than not, I do agree it’s pointless to include it.

Actually, I think most women age 30+ will think she has some drama and will deselect herself. Again because the definition of drama is so broad.
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Old Today, 08:40 AM
 
4,273 posts, read 4,705,539 times
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I don’t know about men but usually any woman I know who I’ve heard say they don’t want drama are the ones who always looks for it and have it in relationships lol
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Old Today, 08:43 AM
 
2,048 posts, read 558,344 times
Reputation: 1309
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I’m talking about DATING PROFILES.

The fantasy of the “No drama” relationship.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/20/o...pid-drama.html
Hell, if I had a dime for every profile that stated that...also I could stack a whole LIST of commonly said thing in dating profiles.

"Life's too short to sweat the small stuff"

"Looking for my partner in crime"

"I love to laugh" (Honestly, has anyone ever stated in a profile that they dislike laughing?).

"Must not be hung up on their ex"

"Looking for a nice guy!"

"Where are all the nice guys?!"

(The 90s profile) "Dance like no one's watching!"

I could go on...but those are the few that come to mind. LOL

The thing is though, women are just as bad at writing the "No drama" thing in their profiles.

All in all, it's negativity in the profile. I'd seen full paragraph rants about the opposite sex in their profile.

Another one, "Well, I"m trying this again...didn't have much luck before, so now giving it another shot"

Yeah, that sounded enthusiastic. :P
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Old Today, 08:43 AM
 
14,472 posts, read 17,399,736 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
I don’t know about men but usually any woman I know who I’ve heard say they don’t want drama are the ones who always looks for it and have it in relationships lol

I'm middle-aged, so like the author said, when I hear middle-age men say "no drama", my first thought is that he's had a lot of drama in his recent past.... And maybe still dealing with it.
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Old Today, 08:45 AM
 
54 posts, read 819 times
Reputation: 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
I don’t know about men but usually any woman I know who I’ve heard say they don’t want drama are the ones who always looks for it and have it in relationships lol
If you see wine bottles and cat bowls: RUN.
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Old Today, 08:47 AM
 
2,048 posts, read 558,344 times
Reputation: 1309
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post

Years ago, a wise male friend of mine told me to write a dating profile that was general, unspecific and happy/positive, and that I would attract EVERY kind of male, because I would just look like a cute happy woman and all men like that. And then after they come (to my inbox), I can weed out the ones that don't fit my specific criteria. So that is what I did and it worked. I believe men should do the same. Don't write what you don't want, be positive and filter later. I don't think men get hundreds of messages from women to filter through anyway, so they should take this approach. I'm talking about single men here. I believe you are married.
100% on this. Although, it may be considered a boring profile by those who would give you pointers on how to IMPROVE your profile. I find it best to keep it like you stated, srjth.

I keep mines rather ordinary, but when I send my initial email, I get more specific. I put more emphasis on my email message than my profile write-up.
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Old Today, 08:47 AM
 
7,476 posts, read 2,953,786 times
Reputation: 12412
If find a correlation between those calling for no drama, to be the direct producer of the drama. Those who’s actions cause drama in reaction.
Cheater, liar, addict, felon.

ETA: The one person I did meet who’s profile included: “No Drama Please”, revealed at the end of the night that he had recently been in prison. I guess that’s where he gets these images of dramatic women, probably their response to that.
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Old Today, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Central New Jersey
2,448 posts, read 925,346 times
Reputation: 4309
I'd think the no drama deal would refer to head games
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