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Old 07-23-2019, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Colorado
11,972 posts, read 7,363,456 times
Reputation: 21509

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I tend to see a lot of men involved with women like this. I don't know why, but some men seem to enjoy this. Women who are drama-free are labeled as "boring" or "simple." I knew a lot of plain jane women who worked at the library or school, didn't drink, went to church every Sunday, enjoyed hobbies like reading and knitting; but guys didn't want them. The men wanted an exciting, flashy woman.
Funny thing about this... I often feel like I am exciting and flashy up front, but once people get to know me, I'm rather boring underneath all that.

I do some wild stuff sometimes and I have tons of stories to tell, there are many cool events in my life history that I'm proud to be able to say, "I was there." But in my day to day life, though? I never drink or do drugs, I love driving a minivan and don't want to drive anything faster than that, skiing sounds like a good way to break your neck to me, I enjoy building spreadsheets, doing research, preparing taxes and financial statements (seriously I find this fun) and more often than not when I get home from work, I just want to take a nice nap. In fact, I'd say that naps are probably among my top 5 favorite ways to spend my time.

Like woo hoo I'm such a party animal. lol

But I love my colorful communities and I know hundreds of interesting people. So what happens is, I get into these groups, and inevitably they find out "Hey...she's a responsible adult! Let's put her in charge of stuff!" and then I wind up in a leadership role and doing a ton of work. Somehow I manage to make even the most fun of excursions and activities, into this situation where I'm the boring adult taking responsibility. I am the perpetual designated driver. The manager on duty. The one who helps make sure that everyone can have a good time without ending up in jail or the hospital.

I actually don't mind drama so long as it is kept at a safe distance. Like, not in my house, preferably. Out there in social groups at a certain distance, it can be entertaining. Rather like the children of extended relatives, you can visit and enjoy them and then leave them to their parents and go home to peace and quiet. "I called you an Uber, my drunk friend. It's been fun. Now you're not my problem. I'm going home. I need a nap."
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Old 07-23-2019, 01:16 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,145 posts, read 12,903,884 times
Reputation: 31591
So far, most men I dated who stated "no drama" in their profile were actually drama.
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Old 07-23-2019, 02:28 PM
 
7,512 posts, read 2,970,961 times
Reputation: 12477
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
So far, most men I dated who stated "no drama" in their profile were actually drama.
I picture one pounding on the car trunk yelling: "That's enough drama in there now, you're gonna ride quiet!"
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Old 07-23-2019, 02:35 PM
 
6,736 posts, read 1,401,225 times
Reputation: 16855
Sorry to disagree with most, I think, but I think I know exactly what is meant by "no drama" or drama queens. Although this does not apply to myself and dating, as I have been happily married for 35 years, my daughter is a true "drama queen", whose every little complaint, illness, or relationship blip is worthy of a soap opera -- or at least an hour of someone's time to listen to her talk about it. I would think the phrase, "turning a molehill into a mountain" would have been invented to describe this tendency of hers, if not for the fact that the phrase was known even when I was a girl.

She is 28, but I think she has the emotional restraint and maturity of the average 13-year-old!

(Sorry for the rant/vent.)

P.S. I also think it means that people don't want to cope with ongoing problems with exes, children, relatives, finances, health, etc., etc., etc. In short, I think most people just want relationships that are "easy".
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Old 07-23-2019, 02:41 PM
 
4 posts, read 795 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I’m talking about DATING PROFILES.

The fantasy of the “No drama” relationship.

[URL]https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/20/opinion/sunday/tinder-bumble-okcupid-drama.html[/URL]
Don't these men know that every relationship comes with drama. Thier is no such thing as a smooth world.
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Old 07-23-2019, 04:15 PM
 
220 posts, read 41,297 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
I picture one pounding on the car trunk yelling: "That's enough drama in there now, you're gonna ride quiet!"
Lol!!
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Old 07-23-2019, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,533 posts, read 1,619,136 times
Reputation: 4423
It's 2019 and not 1989, which means most men know how human attraction works. So it's safe to say that "no drama" is often code for "no dominance tests". For example, one partner suggests a series of restaurant types for dinner. (e.g. burger, sushi, Chinese, Mexican, and so on) The other partner vetoes them all, under a series of pretexts: "I ate [type1] yesterday", "[type2] is nasty", "all you want is [type 3]", none of which are allergies or medicals. Sometimes, that's done to find out how the first partner will react, rather than out of sincere dislike for all their choices, and subconsciously to boot. Reason being to separate the strong from the weak, then go with the strong and dump the weak.

Men hate that! But because saying "no dominance tests" is politically incorrect, "no drama" becomes an acceptable substitute.

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 07-23-2019 at 08:30 PM..
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Old 07-23-2019, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
6,937 posts, read 3,868,939 times
Reputation: 16558
Men can be just as much a drama queen as women..... the end!
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Old 07-23-2019, 09:16 PM
Status: "Fill the days." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg/Virginia Beach, VA
10,717 posts, read 11,123,282 times
Reputation: 14153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
It's 2019 and not 1989, which means most men know how human attraction works. So it's safe to say that "no drama" is often code for "no dominance tests". For example, one partner suggests a series of restaurant types for dinner. (e.g. burger, sushi, Chinese, Mexican, and so on) The other partner vetoes them all, under a series of pretexts: "I ate [type1] yesterday", "[type2] is nasty", "all you want is [type 3]", none of which are allergies or medicals. Sometimes, that's done to find out how the first partner will react, rather than out of sincere dislike for all their choices, and subconsciously to boot. Reason being to separate the strong from the weak, then go with the strong and dump the weak.

Men hate that! But because saying "no dominance tests" is politically incorrect, "no drama" becomes an acceptable substitute.
No dominance tests? Okay, before I judge I will ask if you have any additional examples of a “dominance test.” The “where to eat” one is more a comical nuisance that couples can actually laugh about together. So what else constitutes a “dominance test?”
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Old 07-23-2019, 09:23 PM
 
2,138 posts, read 1,702,507 times
Reputation: 2632
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
So far, most men I dated who stated "no drama" in their profile were actually drama.
Maybe they were mirroring....
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