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Old 07-22-2019, 08:36 AM
 
Location: around
713 posts, read 242,728 times
Reputation: 636

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There's a new thread about on and off , but another area of that l've wondered about , is the rocky road type.

You know you might both have the feeling , very very strong, but things just always seem be in the way. Obstacles !
And for some reason it just doesn't seem to wanna come together, yet you both have this feelings and want it to work and come together but out side forces just keep on getting in the way.
Could be jobs, family, location hassles, any number of things that two people just can't quite seem to go around or over come , to get things happening between them.

Would you think that's a sign it's just not meant to be , drop it, walk away ?
Do you believe in the just not meant to be thing ?
Are the long lasting real relationships/marriages, necessarily all smooth sailing and just fall into shape from day one, just happen ?
l know marriages have many rocky roads but that's usually down the track a bit had one of those lucky me. But l'm more thinking about the start of something, say the first year or two.
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Old 07-22-2019, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,522 posts, read 42,049,720 times
Reputation: 83678
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post
There's a new thread about on and off , but another area of that l've wondered about , is the rocky road type.

You know you might both have the feeling , very very strong, but things just always seem be in the way. Obstacles !
And for some reason it just doesn't seem to wanna come together, yet you both have this feelings and want it to work and come together but out side forces just keep on getting in the way.
Could be jobs, family, location hassles, any number of things that two people just can't quite seem to go around or over come , to get things happening between them.

Would you think that's a sign it's just not meant to be , drop it, walk away ?
Do you believe in the just not meant to be thing ?
Are the long lasting real relationships/marriages, necessarily all smooth sailing and just fall into shape from day one, just happen ?
l know marriages have many rocky roads but that's usually down the track a bit had one of those lucky me. But l'm more thinking about the start of something, say the first year or two.
I don't believe this is an either/or situation.

The way I see it, all those things you listed are temporary, even family struggles, and life is made of phases. Some phases are harder/rockier than others. But they don't usually last your entire life.

So I would be a person who views a relationship as the foundational situation in your life, and challenges can be weathered together. If you are never together from the beginning, that is something that is very hard to overcome. Usually someone makes a location change in order to be together.

I don't believe that relationships just fall into place. I think the basics should fall into place, such as your energy, life outlook, etc, but in my experience, successful long-term relationships take effort and attention. If you REALLY want to be together you have to work to overcome whatever rocks you may hit in the road.
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Old 07-22-2019, 10:00 AM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,450 posts, read 12,974,422 times
Reputation: 31122
Every relationship has some bumps in the road. Some may be bumpier than others. You're the only one who can decide how you get around those "bumps" and get back on solid ground.
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Old 07-22-2019, 10:16 AM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,076 posts, read 249,027 times
Reputation: 1007
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post
There's a new thread about on and off , but another area of that l've wondered about , is the rocky road type.

You know you might both have the feeling , very very strong, but things just always seem be in the way. Obstacles !
And for some reason it just doesn't seem to wanna come together, yet you both have this feelings and want it to work and come together but out side forces just keep on getting in the way.
Could be jobs, family, location hassles, any number of things that two people just can't quite seem to go around or over come , to get things happening between them.

Would you think that's a sign it's just not meant to be , drop it, walk away ?
Do you believe in the just not meant to be thing ?
Are the long lasting real relationships/marriages, necessarily all smooth sailing and just fall into shape from day one, just happen ?
l know marriages have many rocky roads but that's usually down the track a bit had one of those lucky me. But l'm more thinking about the start of something, say the first year or two.
Things getting in the way, tho....like location hassles or jobs & stuff like that, is not a "rocky road"...it's just life. I think of rocky road as stuff like continuous disagreements or arguments.....differences in lifestyles & how you live, butting heads a lot....even abuse. So for a true "rocky road" relationship....I'd say it's toxic & not likely to work. Life & things that just happen about families, illness, jobs & stuff....everyone goes through tho.
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Old 07-22-2019, 04:40 PM
 
Location: around
713 posts, read 242,728 times
Reputation: 636
Yeah true but call it say of the obstacle kind .
Money , that's a biggie. You know , l don't know what goes on money wise much in couples l know for example because most don't talk too much about their money side of things.
But you see plenty in forums for example , thinking about leaving the relationship because of money things, like one's good with money the other one isn't.
Location and moving troubles, see plenty of posts with people saying they won't get involved with someone far away or the LD stuff because it's too much hassle , or sitches where both can't move because of work or family friends whatever.
Been in that one myself , we were great but just couldn't over come that part because of the situations both ends.
So in those ways for example stuff can cause a constant struggle and problems between you all the time, but not much about the two of you , more about the problems of whatever the obstacles are.

lt can be very very hard knowing whether to fight on to get past them for example, or maybe it's just not meant top be, or you end up having to walk away because they can't be over come, or say with someone else you wouldn't have all that struggle to make it happen for whatever reason.Some of this type of thing can take years to over come before a couple can finally be together properly , or money things causing all kinds of crap years on end.
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Old 07-22-2019, 05:03 PM
 
Location: around
713 posts, read 242,728 times
Reputation: 636
Visa's , that can be a HUGE one.

Got a friend met his gf OS , they've been fighting 2yrs to get her into the country.
For them it's money as well because all that costs a fortune too. They've nearly given up a few times along the way , but they're hanging in there.
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Old Today, 08:53 AM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,076 posts, read 249,027 times
Reputation: 1007
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post
Visa's , that can be a HUGE one.

Got a friend met his gf OS , they've been fighting 2yrs to get her into the country.
For them it's money as well because all that costs a fortune too. They've nearly given up a few times along the way , but they're hanging in there.
2 yrs is a long time to be in limbo & not together....anything can happen. Long distance relationships like that....not even in the same country... aren't "real" relationships IMO.
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Old Today, 04:52 PM
 
Location: around
713 posts, read 242,728 times
Reputation: 636
Oh yeah it's real alright , they're together a few times a year for a few mths at a time.
People can still wait for each other it's just that most don't have what it takes these days.
Got another friend she met her man 3yrs ago, they were together a month but fell madly head over heals . But then with circumstances they couldn't make it happen from there and they were apart 2yrs 8mths . Never saw each other once but stayed loyal to each other never wavered well, they finally got together again 4mths ago and crazy happy .
Who knows how it will all go long term but yaknow, people do still do this stuff.
Read one story in a long distance thread where it took them 7yrs to be together, that was something like 25yrs ago , still married.
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