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Old 07-22-2019, 09:52 PM
 
42 posts, read 17,377 times
Reputation: 35

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Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
First, it was not your room. It was room that you were permitted to sleep in. It's pretty rude to be a guest in someone's home and have so little respect for their hospitality that you toss stuff all over the floor.

Threatening to wipe feces on walls and throwing pies at people is not normal. I can understand why the father does not like you. Seek some psychiatric help.
He's disliked me well before this incident. Atheism is a big no for him, regardless of how they actually are as a person.
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Old 07-22-2019, 10:23 PM
 
26,177 posts, read 28,575,729 times
Reputation: 24904
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancined View Post
He's disliked me well before this incident. Atheism is a big no for him, regardless of how they actually are as a person.
Atheism aside, there are some legit reasons for him to not like you:

--Temper/anger issues. He was trying to stoke your anger and it worked.
--Entitlement attitude. (It wasn't your room. Saying you can smear **** around? Really? OMG. I can't imagine ever saying that in any circumstance. Goes back to anger issues I guess).
--DUI. At the very least you're careless/reckless. Not a good trait for a long term partner. At worse, you're on the road to being an alcoholic (or you're already there). Probably goes back to your being angry about something.

I'm not giving the dad a free pass here. But you've got your own behavior/character/emotional issues to clean up.
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Old 07-22-2019, 11:56 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale
1,144 posts, read 561,991 times
Reputation: 2030
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancined View Post
My girlfriend's dad doesn't approve of me because I'm an atheist and he comes from a conservative, religious upbringing. My girlfriend's mom isn't as religious as he is and my girlfriend says that she "kind of" believes in God, but I honestly feel like she only says so to put up with her father. Anyway, he's not exactly keen on being around me and he doesn't like whenever I come over to their house, so I've done what I can to avoid him. But just last week, I ended up going on vacation with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad was against it, but the trip was to their Summer rental house in North Carolina and it's an annual trip they take, the house being paid for by my girlfriend's uncle. (her mom's brother) Her uncle actually likes me and he was more than happy to let me join the trip and her dad didn't have any say in me tagging along.

The trip consisted of me, my girlfriend, her parents, her brother and his girlfriend, her aunt and uncle, and her cousin. It was the nine of us going to the Summer rental, all looking to have a good time, but my girlfriend's dad ruined it for everyone. We mostly avoided each other on the first day and it was easy since I drove in my own car with my girlfriend, but the next day we went out to eat and I ordered a salad since I want to eat healthy. Her dad was sitting right next to me and he ordered himself a full plate of prime rib. He began criticizing me for eating a salad and he start bragging about his "manly meal". He told me to "man up" and stop eating "women food" and I just sat there and took it to keep the peace.

The next day, he suddenly barges into the room that me and my girlfriend were staying in and he starts yelling at me to pick up my clothes and stop leaving them all over the floor. I told him that he's not even paying for this house, so he has no right to be saying this. I then argued that it's my room and I can do whatever I want in it. I even said to him "I could take a dump in my hand and smear it all over the walls and it'd be fine since it's MY room." Her dad simply said "Don't push it" and then came dinner. We barbecued and again, I just chose to have some salad and a bowl of fruit. My girlfriend's dad saw and he said "You're ruining this vacation. Live a little, why don't you?" I just kept ignoring him, but then said to my girlfriend "This guy's not ever gonna be part of MY family." I looked up, asked him what he meant by that, and he said to me "You're not ever going to be welcome in my family. I'm just doing what Jesus would do." I snapped, grabbed one of her mom's homemade pies, and threw it at her dad. He was covered in pie and yelling at me to leave and that's what I did. I went out in the front yard followed by everyone else, I got in my car, and drove off.

I drove on my own back home and I've been ignoring my girlfriend's calls, texts, and voice mails. That trip was last week and I'm still avoiding all of them. Part of me wants to just never contact my girlfriend again and just leave things as they are, but another part of me wants to try and make things right. I just really hate her dad and I don't know how much more of this I can put up with. He's always like this when I'm around, but he gets along just fine with my girlfriend's brother's girlfriend. I do really care about my relationship with my girlfriend and I'm struggling on how to handle this.
It's better to experience this BEFORE the marriage then AFTER. I read a great book written by an experienced divorce attorney. She noted that one of the major RED FLAGS is a problematic in-law. In this case, you were spared the future pain by ending it early. Bravo!

Can you imagine how painful it would be if this happened after you were married with children and a mortgage to deal with? Consider yourself lucky to learn it early.
Wendy Jaffe, ESQ. Divorce Attorney
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Old Yesterday, 04:12 AM
 
12,354 posts, read 13,610,888 times
Reputation: 14373
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Why are you so unstable? You push people's face in the snow and throw pies when you're angry. Sounds like you should be under supervision.
This is what I was thinking too.

OP, you have to realize there are going to be people in the world that won’t like us. This guy doesn’t like you and throwing a pie in his face just showed everyone else why he’s right in not liking you.

‘Smearing fecal matter on the wall’ is your argument of it being ‘your room?’ Come on!

Do you have long hair OP?
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Old Yesterday, 07:13 AM
 
8,154 posts, read 5,326,798 times
Reputation: 9348
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph_Kirk View Post
Aren't you unmarried so that you can walk away over issues like this?

No point in staying in a lot of drama unnecessarily. In the long run, it's doing nothing for your life.
I agree. The dad is not going to change.
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Old Yesterday, 10:55 AM
 
42 posts, read 17,377 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
Atheism aside, there are some legit reasons for him to not like you:

--Temper/anger issues. He was trying to stoke your anger and it worked.
--Entitlement attitude. (It wasn't your room. Saying you can smear **** around? Really? OMG. I can't imagine ever saying that in any circumstance. Goes back to anger issues I guess).
--DUI. At the very least you're careless/reckless. Not a good trait for a long term partner. At worse, you're on the road to being an alcoholic (or you're already there). Probably goes back to your being angry about something.

I'm not giving the dad a free pass here. But you've got your own behavior/character/emotional issues to clean up.
I'm not an alcoholic. I rarely drank before the DUI and I haven't drank ever since the DUI, nor do I actually crave any alcohol. The night of the DUI was just one night of me making a careless, idiotic decision and it's not gonna happen again.
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Old Yesterday, 01:25 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,145 posts, read 12,898,188 times
Reputation: 31571
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancined View Post
The next day, he suddenly barges into the room that me and my girlfriend were staying in and he starts yelling at me to pick up my clothes and stop leaving them all over the floor. I told him that he's not even paying for this house, so he has no right to be saying this. I then argued that it's my room and I can do whatever I want in it. I even said to him "I could take a dump in my hand and smear it all over the walls and it'd be fine since it's MY room." Her dad simply said "Don't push it" and then came dinner. We barbecued and again, I just chose to have some salad and a bowl of fruit. My girlfriend's dad saw and he said "You're ruining this vacation. Live a little, why don't you?" I just kept ignoring him, but then said to my girlfriend "This guy's not ever gonna be part of MY family." I looked up, asked him what he meant by that, and he said to me "You're not ever going to be welcome in my family. I'm just doing what Jesus would do." I snapped, grabbed one of her mom's homemade pies, and threw it at her dad. He was covered in pie and yelling at me to leave and that's what I did. I went out in the front yard followed by everyone else, I got in my car, and drove off.

I drove on my own back home and I've been ignoring my girlfriend's calls, texts, and voice mails. That trip was last week and I'm still avoiding all of them. Part of me wants to just never contact my girlfriend again and just leave things as they are, but another part of me wants to try and make things right. I just really hate her dad and I don't know how much more of this I can put up with. He's always like this when I'm around, but he gets along just fine with my girlfriend's brother's girlfriend. I do really care about my relationship with my girlfriend and I'm struggling on how to handle this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancined View Post
Correct. I got my license back at the end of June.
You need help. No dad of any girl would like you. Work on yourself to become a better person, maybe then you will become respectable. Within just a few posts you have proved to be a real tool. And we don't even know what else you did, this is just scratching the surface.
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Old Yesterday, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Cape Cod/Green Valley AZ
875 posts, read 2,099,034 times
Reputation: 2131
Well, when all is said and done, it would appear the dad of your ex-girlfriend won.
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Old Today, 05:36 AM
 
1,065 posts, read 667,312 times
Reputation: 3225
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancined View Post
I'm not an alcoholic.
The first step is admitting you have a problem. It sounds like you're still in the denial stage, which is exceedingly common in all addicts when confronted about their addiction. Have you considered going to an AA meeting just to listen to what they have to say? I'm sure the stories you hear will sound familiar and it will help you realize that you really do need help for your problem.
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Old Today, 09:33 AM
 
42 posts, read 17,377 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGal7 View Post
The first step is admitting you have a problem. It sounds like you're still in the denial stage, which is exceedingly common in all addicts when confronted about their addiction. Have you considered going to an AA meeting just to listen to what they have to say? I'm sure the stories you hear will sound familiar and it will help you realize that you really do need help for your problem.
So you're just going to ignore everything else I said in that post? I almost never drank before the DUI and on the night of said DUI, I only had a couple of beers. I wasn't overwhelmingly drunk like you see in The Simpsons or Family Guy. I just had a couple of beers and was unfortunate enough to be pulled over for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. This was my first offense and my BAC wasn't even that high, hence why it was such a short license suspension. I have yet to drink after the DUI.
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