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Old Today, 06:14 AM
 
Location: Where the sun always shines
1,997 posts, read 2,592,072 times
Reputation: 3784

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Yes men are visual creatures but the rest of your post is pure projection and sounds like something you've copied and pasted from the manosphere. In my experience men are not uniformly looking for perfect beauty and youth. I'm a white woman "past her expiration date" to hear you speak, and have no problem with lack of interest (my problem is the opposite). I've got men in their 20s, 30s and 40s upwards messaging me. And I would say I am pretty jaded by life experience. Lol.

When I was in my early 20s and dating I did have men in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s try to date me but I was not wanting to date those men and found it creepy that someone old enough to be my dad thought they would be a suitable or compatible partner for a 20 something. I don't recall any of my friends the same age at that time wanting to date someone more than 5-7 years older than her. So yes some older men (the ones that fetishize youth) may have a preference for young women, but most young women I know are actually looking for someone their own age or slightly older.

[Snip.]
Wow aren't you caught up in your feelings. Truth of the matter is most men worth a damm who have themselves together prefer nice new things, like who wouldn't want a new car if you have the means instead of driving a beater.

Your comment is laughable b/c young women date older men of means ALL the time. I only gave a few examples but there's tons more. Hugh Hefner, Johnny Depp, Mick Jagger, the list goes on...... That's why unattractive men know there's no need to be eternally miserable over their looks...........if you earn enough, they will come

Young men messaging you in all likelihood means they expect you to be easy without all of the hassles, or they are looking for a sugar mama. I've done it myself in the past.

Mod cut.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 10:13 AM.. Reason: Trolling; bashing; off-topic.

 
Old Today, 06:21 AM
Status: "Fill the days." (set 13 hours ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg/Virginia Beach, VA
10,714 posts, read 11,119,481 times
Reputation: 14138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollytree View Post
It's always been difficult for intelligent, highly educated women to find compatible men. Can't quote it right now, but I recall seeing a study that showed that this segment of women have the lowest rates of marriage. Men find them threatening to their egos.

If I were you, OP, I'd consider hanging back out at the local U again. Maybe another course or two in an area that men might be into- like geology or something. Or political science?? Maybe meet an unattached professor?
Where’s the data to support this? Despite some members here making similar statements I haven’t seen anything to indicate there is actually any reason to believe this. Not on a widespread level. There are always outliers and there will always be men who prefer submissive “yes-women” who will never challenge them. There are women like that too, who want full compliance, so the power dynamic is not male thing, it’s a human thing.

I think a more likely explanation for why educated career women have a harder time finding men is they’ve waited to a point in their lives where the best options have been taken. Women are waiting longer and longer to start families. Career first, family second. Men are probably trending in this direction too, but not at the same rates as career women. The career women are pursuing their goals but the less career oriented women are taking all the best options, and they’re likely shooting fish in a barrel because the career women have removed themselves from the pool of competitors.

The idea that it’s hard because men are intimidated or worried about bruised egos is borderline misandrous. Also, just because a woman does not have a professional career and has chosen to be a SAHM or otherwise more traditional doesn’t make her “easy to control.” Anyone who thinks otherwise hasn’t met my wife! I think it’s great that more women are entering the work force. My boss is a woman and I respect her greatly and don’t want to fall short of goals because I don’t want to disappoint a person a respect this much. But I think as more women enter the work force or put family life on hold in the interest of pursuing a career there is a growing narrative that women who pursue more traditional roles are less intelligent, assertive, decisive, etc. and that seems to fly in the face of all the progress women have made in recent years.

I realize this post isn’t on topic, but that “ego” narrative has just reared it’s ugly and uninformed head a few too many times on this thread.
 
Old Today, 06:22 AM
 
192 posts, read 36,589 times
Reputation: 368
Hi jacktravern,

Sorry but all I'm hearing from you is MGTOW and MRA speak. Men who think women only have something to offer based on how young they are. Luckily the rest of the world is a different story from the echo chamber that is the manosphere.
 
Old Today, 06:24 AM
 
Location: around
709 posts, read 242,728 times
Reputation: 636
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I don't know. Several things can contribute. Mostly is the lack of men with similar educational background and interests. I have a graduate degree and have a career. I love to read and I have a very inquisitive mind. I like to watch certain type of movies (foreign, documentaries, art-cinema, etc..). And where I live there are not many people into that (men or women but definitely less men). For example in my university there were like 70% women. I am not into drinking or the bar scene so maybe that explains something. I am very liberal and I expect to be with someone who is also like that because otherwise it won't work.

Nothing wrong with preferring like minded pretty well common sense and otherwise effects much much more than just a bit of convo. lt's about your life together.
And there's obviously no shortage of very smart men around they've basically built the world we live in and everything in it, good and bad.
Don't wanna start a war with that one just sayin there's def' plenty of super smart men out there that's all.
Sounds like there's a shortage where you are though of men and smarts in the ways you like anyway , what about at your work there's probably plenty of smart guys there unless it's in a women's field.
l'm wondering if your a warm and famine type of girl or if your a bit hard nose'ish , any chips on your shoulder ? How have men in your past talked about you and your personality, ways ? Ya don't have to tell us but maybe ask yourself things like this bc guys can't stand that stuff and it's usually very easily spotted in seconds, just sayin it's only thoughts as to what might be goin on not saying it's right.

Could even just be about where you live though if there was 70% females at uni, probably a higher female ratio all round so maybe guys are getting the pick, that wouldn't help. Do you ever go to other towns or areas, cities ?
 
Old Today, 06:40 AM
Status: "Fill the days." (set 13 hours ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg/Virginia Beach, VA
10,714 posts, read 11,119,481 times
Reputation: 14138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Hi jacktravern,

Sorry but all I'm hearing from you is MGTOW and MRA speak. Men who think women only have something to offer based on how young they are. Luckily the rest of the world is a different story from the echo chamber that is the manosphere.
The internet just really attracts the manosphere types. A few years ago this sub forum became saturated with angry MGTOW and the resulting constant bickering caused me to lose interest. Ironically enough, they call themselves “men GOING THEIR OWN WAY” but they never do. They never actually go, they just camp out and complain.

 
Old Today, 06:50 AM
 
18,480 posts, read 20,276,550 times
Reputation: 27077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OK, I read that part of her post (we don't even know if she lists that in her profile, btw. People are assuming that, without knowing), and thought it was normal. I thought she'd fit right in, in many West Coast, Northeast, and some southwest locations. Some of this (including the no-single-men issue) boils down to location, location, location. OP, where do you live? Are you in a more traditional part of the country, where everyone gets married in their 20's? Are you a fish out of water in your location, being the environmental/SJW type? If so, would you consider a relocation?

You're doing the right thing, by participating in group activities that you enjoy. Keep doing that. Consider expanding, and trying a new activity, a class, photography workshop, whatever. There's an election coming up, you may have noticed , maybe volunteering for your local political party of choice to help out in the campaign office or do some canvassing in your leisure time would be a good way to meet people who share your views.

Unless her real name is Elephant Woman and lives on the Island of Lesbos there is no way she’s not going to find at least one guy who will take her out for coffee and be willing to bump uglies.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Right, and the OP, or any woman, would want that kind of guy...why? If she's putting those guys off with something in her profile, that's what a profile is intended to do; weed out people who aren't compatible.

We have no idea what she puts in her profile. Before we assume, maybe we should ask her...? More info needed, OP; your regional location, for one thing (no need to get specific, if you don't want).
You’re right I don’t but whatever is in her profile is turning men off. And from her reported results it seems to be a 100% success rate in deflecting men’s attention. Could be anything from her physical attributes all the way to I’m only looking for the impossible to find man with a laundry list ofmust haves that no man will ever live up to in this or any lifetime.

My buddies do online dating. They read off some of the profiles people write on there. Jesus some scream desperation and needy along with impossible demands for perfection.

If I was dating and your profile stated you are a independent, confident, talented woman who is a passionate advocate for the environment and social justice, most guys are probably just gonna hit the “next” button. Lots of guys will see that as I am the type who is gonna take any opportunity to tear you down for being a man.
 
Old Today, 06:52 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,670 posts, read 4,905,319 times
Reputation: 12605
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Hi jacktravern,

Sorry but all I'm hearing from you is MGTOW and MRA speak. Men who think women only have something to offer based on how young they are. Luckily the rest of the world is a different story from the echo chamber that is the manosphere.
I say let those type of men continue to out themselves and their truths so you can stay away from them. As a young woman in her 20s, I'd be considered jaded in their eyes. To me, I see reality for what it is, meaning majority of people are mediocre. Also I'm not willing to deal with a manchild's issues or someone who refuses to grow up. Especially the ones who are all about flashy cars, money, etc. If that's what they're into, cool. It seems they want a young woman who is blissfully unaware of their issues or will deal with them for the sake of "tradition" and "love," while taking care of the house. Which is fine, but just call it for what it is. People are not that special and if a few of them think like that? Nah I'm good, I'll stay where I am.
 
Old Today, 07:16 AM
 
727 posts, read 188,717 times
Reputation: 955
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I wasn't implying you have to be a rapist/assaulter of women because of your comment. I'm sorry to hear you've been falsely accused at work. I'm just pointing out that sane women are not going to be approached by a man looking for a date and start throwing false accusations around.
I think MeToo has done a lot of good in raising awareness and shining light in places that have needed it for a long time. But it doesn’t take an insane person to try to twist something to their advantage, just someone who is vengeful, attention-seeking, or greedy. Yes, chances are slim, but caution costs nothing up front, where he said/she said is usually a losing game when “Listen and believe” is the rule of the day.
 
Old Today, 07:35 AM
 
727 posts, read 188,717 times
Reputation: 955
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I don't know. Several things can contribute. Mostly is the lack of men with similar educational background and interests. I have a graduate degree and have a career. I love to read and I have a very inquisitive mind. I like to watch certain type of movies (foreign, documentaries, art-cinema, etc..). And where I live there are not many people into that (men or women but definitely less men). For example in my university there were like 70% women. I am not into drinking or the bar scene so maybe that explains something. I am very liberal and I expect to be with someone who is also like that because otherwise it won't work.
Are you only considering guys with “similar educational background”? The fact that your university was 70% female should tell you something about the demographics of people who have your educational background. Do you get approached by/consider guys with lower education, lower career success, etc.? It sounds like you’re probably in the upper echelons as far as education and career go...roughly 10% of the population (men and women combined, and women are now outnumbering men in higher education, as you indicate) has a postgraduate degree, and presumably a portion of those wouldn’t have a successful career yet, so if that’s the pool you’re wading in you might find pickings pretty sparse. Are you getting interest from guys who may not be what you’re looking for in terms of education and success?
 
Old Today, 07:52 AM
 
165 posts, read 26,902 times
Reputation: 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollytree View Post
It's always been difficult for intelligent, highly educated women to find compatible men. Can't quote it right now, but I recall seeing a study that showed that this segment of women have the lowest rates of marriage. Men find them threatening to their egos.
Nope. The real reason I'd say is that all good men are already married by that moment . "To become a general's wife, you need to marry a lieutenant".
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