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Old Today, 07:52 AM
 
163 posts, read 26,902 times
Reputation: 148

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollytree View Post
It's always been difficult for intelligent, highly educated women to find compatible men. Can't quote it right now, but I recall seeing a study that showed that this segment of women have the lowest rates of marriage. Men find them threatening to their egos.
Nope. The real reason I'd say is that all good men are already married by that moment . "To become a general's wife, you need to marry a lieutenant".

 
Old Today, 08:17 AM
 
855 posts, read 223,542 times
Reputation: 1400
A couple of thoughts reinforcing some of what has already been said --

1. Be aware of the demographic group you are targeting -- on-line, geographic, interest and activities
If you are in the south, the average age for marriage is earlier than the northeast so perhaps this means a lack of availability in your area. There are websites that can provide demographics of various areas of the country by political affiliation, religion, education level, etc. Join a club that attracts like minded people.

2. Write you profile so as not to filter so many men that you are looking for a subset of less than a 1/2 dozen people. For example, rather than stating you are "passionate" about something, say you support various environmental causes. We all bring our biases and stereotyping to information about a person we have never met. I had to do it all the time when I reviewed resumes. Certain words trigger judgments about people, i.e., "passionate" meaning strident.

3. Understand what you are up against in your demographic/nitche interests and put in sufficient effort and cast a wide net. I don't think relying on one dating site is sufficient and may even be an inefficient use of your time.

4. Some keep emphasizing a photo and I trust given your information, you are fit, well-groomed and attractive enough to get responses. In any event, unattractive people find mates all the time. Our 70 year old friend just became engaged to someone she met on-line and they are a great match. He has the educational background and wealth that he could have attracted someone younger but he chose her.
 
Old Today, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,520 posts, read 42,049,720 times
Reputation: 83664
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie104 View Post

...I trust given your information, you are fit, well-groomed and attractive enough to get responses.
She hasn't indicated that she's physically attractive, or not, and she hasn't gotten any responses.

She's only described herself as "in great shape" and "full of energy."
 
Old Today, 08:51 AM
 
7,506 posts, read 2,966,747 times
Reputation: 12455
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
She hasn't indicated that she's physically attractive, or not, and she hasn't gotten any responses.

She's only described herself as "in great shape" and "full of energy."
I’m wondering if OP is in the same camp as these guys who say they don’t get any dates, or haven’t had a date in years —when actually there have been opportunities just not the ones they want?
 
Old Today, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,520 posts, read 42,049,720 times
Reputation: 83664
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
I’m wondering if OP is in the same camp as these guys who say they don’t get any dates, or haven’t had a date in years —when actually there have been opportunities just not the ones they want?
Maybe?

But she wrote that she's had no signals of interest, no conversations online, not even a dreaded coffee date, in 4 years.

Wonder what was happening 4 years ago?
 
Old Today, 09:08 AM
 
7,506 posts, read 2,966,747 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Maybe?

But she wrote that she's had no signals of interest, no conversations online, not even a dreaded coffee date, in 4 years.

Wonder what was happening 4 years ago?
She took a chance.
I read it the same as pulling teeth from one of our guys who’ve been “dateless for years”. Ask enough questions, the right way, suddenly they’ll POP: “Well I don’t date fat chicks!” Maybe hers’ll be: “I’m not going to call the guy who gave me his number at the gas station, and he was driving a diesel truck anyway!” With the emphasis on education and culture, maybe comes blinders.
 
Old Today, 09:12 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,002 posts, read 70,855,709 times
Reputation: 77030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
After I read, I found 3 good posts: the one below, the ones with solutions: check your photos and go to where men are, white collar men- ski places etc.

The political stuff is boring. Probably a turn off, would turn me off social justice etc. Too preachy etc. Dating should be fun.
lol. This is so funny! Imagining that the OP is preachy, simply because she's interested in humanitarian causes. Why would that imply that dating her wouldn't be fun? Anyone who shares her interests would definitely find it fun and interesting to hang out with her.

I'm reminded of one woman who posted here, that she went on a date with a guy who was a Howard Zinn fan, the historian and author of "A People's History of the United States". She said she had a blast; it was one of the most fun and fascinating dates she'd ever been on; such a pleasant surprise! Clearly, the OP isn't looking to date many of the guys posting here. Y'all are the party-poopers here, not the OP.


I think, rather than the political angle, the OP's problem seems to be a dearth of men with professional degrees in her city or region. Still unanswered is the question: what part of the US does she live in, that there are few men with an advanced degree, or few who are single in her age range? Also unanswered is the question of whether or not she could move to an area whose demographics are more in line with her need and interests.
 
Old Today, 09:21 AM
 
192 posts, read 36,589 times
Reputation: 368
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
The internet just really attracts the manosphere types. A few years ago this sub forum became saturated with angry MGTOW and the resulting constant bickering caused me to lose interest. Ironically enough, they call themselves “men GOING THEIR OWN WAY” but they never do. They never actually go, they just camp out and complain.

You are right - it is an internet echo chamber that has little to no bearing to the real world.

I hope that OP isn't reading these things written by people with an agenda and thinking that the problem is her age or that she's unloveable because she's in her forties. The only "expiration date" when it comes to love, is death.
 
Old Today, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,520 posts, read 42,049,720 times
Reputation: 83664
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post

With the emphasis on education and culture, maybe comes blinders.
There is a heavy emphasis.
 
Old Today, 09:42 AM
 
84 posts, read 13,117 times
Reputation: 180
Op, it's not that you're doing anything wrong. You're not, imo, being that picky. I've obviously never seen your profile pics, but it's probably not even that either. It's simply that, and this has been said by others, who you are looking for is just doggone HARD to find (regardless of where you live). Nothing more to it than that.

Advise? Your standards need no adjustment, you just have to keep looking. I'm sure he is out there. Good luck in your search
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