U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:03 AM
 
8,687 posts, read 3,433,542 times
Reputation: 14555

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Interesting that some view conservative as anti-woman, except for sex. Wow, learn something new everyday. Not to get off on politics, as I really dislike the polarization we find ourselves in today. I view every woman as a unique individual, so it would really depend on what she specifically believes in and how extreme it appeared to me.
Would it also be “interesting” to know some view trump as anti-woman except for sex? Or that they suspect he is a racist? I don’t know where you’ve been if this has never been inferred.

And yet, the opinions you agree with and phrases you choose are revealing something else.

 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:08 AM
 
8,687 posts, read 3,433,542 times
Reputation: 14555
Yes this is a romantic relationship topic, the OP included views that some have chosen as political opinion.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:10 AM
 
19,772 posts, read 21,863,455 times
Reputation: 29683
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I am 40, in great shape and full of energy, but it seems that men are not attracted to me. It’s been four years of no dates and no sex. I love to the travel, go to movies, festivals, outings, concerts, museums, and lots of fun stuff. I have a successful professional career, good health and I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements. I tried online dating at eharmony for six months but didn’t meet anyone. Actually zero conversations from it. Sometimes I think it’s gonna be like this forever. I mean not even a coffee date in 4 years is a long time. It seems like all men around have no interest in anything whatsoever. Actually it is very rare to even see single men going to the places and activities that I like, like hiking, the beach, festivals, etc.. I always read that men are attracted to confident, talented, independent women with their own life and interests, but, I don’t know, I am that woman and no guy seems to ever notice me anywhere.
All in moderation.

You could be Kate Beckinsale hot but if you harangue me with social justice and environmental stuff I’m gonna walk away. The same with confident talented women. At a certain point that confidence and talent translates into a flaming b*tch. Do you have a resting b*tch face on? Some women have that do not approach me vibe on their face or their body language.

Dont fool yourself because lots of guys are intimidated by a confident talented independent women. They want a woman they can control.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:13 AM
 
8,785 posts, read 6,389,914 times
Reputation: 6534
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Interesting that some view conservative as anti-woman, except for sex. Wow, learn something new everyday. Not to get off on politics, as I really dislike the polarization we find ourselves in today. I view every woman as a unique individual, so it would really depend on what she specifically believes in and how extreme it appeared to me.
Basically, if you're not on our side, you are the representative of everything we find detestable. I see this a lot.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:16 AM
 
1,100 posts, read 1,816,498 times
Reputation: 1411
I couldn't run fast enough or far enough from a "passionate" SJW.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:25 AM
 
3,552 posts, read 1,899,829 times
Reputation: 9967
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Hope this doesn't come across as nitpicky, but just wanted to check you aren't browbeating potential dates with the issues you're passionate about e.g. on your dating profile. E.g. I briefly dated someone who was obsessed with their pet cause that I was not interested in and seemed to enjoy preaching & making others feel guilty for not being involved. That sort of energy can put people off straight away.

I agree. Even if your date happens to think the issues are good to be concerned about, like reducing trash, often times anyone who is so "passionate" about it comes off as negative and angry. Just the other night I went to a party and one of my friends who I don't see often was very vocal about politics. We are on the same "side" politically but her anger was just palpable and I wanted to get away from her. The next morning a mutual friend who was there texted me and said "I feel really depressed after last night" because our friend was such a downer with her passionate complaints. So if we felt that way about a friend, imagine feeling like that on a date with someone you just met. And you're going to say "I don't talk about it" or "I don't act angry" but people can sense things.


Plus, I'll add this: Most guys want to feel "needed." Often, strong independent women don't put out that vibe. I know this because guys told me that in the past. I started softening up a bit and letting them feel like "a man." I always let my husband know that I appreciate that he's all man.


Also, the things you describe don't sound very "relationshippy." What about walks on the beach at sunset? ;-)
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:36 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
81,076 posts, read 74,247,223 times
Reputation: 80830
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Actually, that’s what I was thinking, believe it or not.
I’ve never read of a guy’s profile requesting: “passionate SJW interested in environmental issues.” This almost sounds like the instructions for ‘what to avoid’ found in a bro-blog out in the manosphere.
OK, I read that part of her post (we don't even know if she lists that in her profile, btw. People are assuming that, without knowing), and thought it was normal. I thought she'd fit right in, in many West Coast, Northeast, and some southwest locations. Some of this (including the no-single-men issue) boils down to location, location, location. OP, where do you live? Are you in a more traditional part of the country, where everyone gets married in their 20's? Are you a fish out of water in your location, being the environmental/SJW type? If so, would you consider a relocation?

You're doing the right thing, by participating in group activities that you enjoy. Keep doing that. Consider expanding, and trying a new activity, a class, photography workshop, whatever. There's an election coming up, you may have noticed , maybe volunteering for your local political party of choice to help out in the campaign office or do some canvassing in your leisure time would be a good way to meet people who share your views.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:40 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
81,076 posts, read 74,247,223 times
Reputation: 80830
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
All in moderation.

You could be Kate Beckinsale hot but if you harangue me with social justice and environmental stuff I’m gonna walk away. The same with confident talented women. At a certain point that confidence and talent translates into a flaming b*tch. Do you have a resting b*tch face on? Some women have that do not approach me vibe on their face or their body language.

Dont fool yourself because lots of guys are intimidated by a confident talented independent women. They want a woman they can control.
Right, and the OP, or any woman, would want that kind of guy...why? If she's putting those guys off with something in her profile, that's what a profile is intended to do; weed out people who aren't compatible.

We have no idea what she puts in her profile. Before we assume, maybe we should ask her...? More info needed, OP; your regional location, for one thing (no need to get specific, if you don't want).

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-23-2019 at 10:49 AM..
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:40 AM
 
Location: UK
1,175 posts, read 301,422 times
Reputation: 1915
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
That's now compounded by the me too movement and today's culture in general. Men are more afraid than ever to approach. My issue was always fear of rejection, and at this point, its not going to change. I wish I had answers for the OP, as I feel her pain, speaking as a man.
As long as you're not raping/assaulting anyone and you accept someone's 'no' as their final answer if you ask that person on a date and they decline, I don't think you need to worry about #me too.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:42 AM
 
Location: D.C.
2,903 posts, read 1,906,049 times
Reputation: 3965
I think your profile sounds great and I would definitely be interested. You sound similar to the woman I am with. The fact you are passionate about those issues would not bother me at all, in fact I’d probably agree. The only thing I can see is if you are in a really conservative area, you’re probably not going to have much luck.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top