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Old 07-23-2019, 10:42 AM
 
Location: UK
1,175 posts, read 301,422 times
Reputation: 1915

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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton View Post
Actually, I am not so sure about that. Some men are attracted to girls they can lead. In essence, the most attractive girls are not only those that are thin and pretty, but also humble.

Too much confidence and independence could be a turn off. At least to me it is
I've noticed this too, that some men like to be the one who is in control. However, I think men who want an equal partner are also out there.

 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:42 AM
 
76 posts, read 26,729 times
Reputation: 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Men are more afraid than ever to approach.
This has NOT been my experience. I'm much older than OP (53), and I get approached all the frickin' time, much more than I want to be. She can have my share...
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:44 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,036 posts, read 5,243,449 times
Reputation: 13490
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Right, and the OP, or any woman, would want that kind of guy...why? If she's putting those guys off with something in her profile, that's what a profile is intended to do; weed out people who aren't compatible.

We have no idea what she puts in her profile. Before we assume, maybe we should ask her...?
That's how I see things too. I wouldn't want to be with someone who is so passionate about their dislike for people who are passionate about certain things. My problem with folks like this is that they tend to vocalize their preferences in away that seems like they're trying to make others feel bad. I get being considerate of other's feelings and not trying to "drain" them (I also understand being honest about what you want), but when it comes to just passing on someone for a date, a simple "I'm not interested" would suffice just fine. Attempting to explain why you don't like something can make you look even worse than the person you're rejecting.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:47 AM
 
8,687 posts, read 3,433,542 times
Reputation: 14545
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Right, and the OP, or any woman, would want that kind of guy...why? If she's putting those guys off with something in her profile, that's what a profile is intended to do; weed out people who aren't compatible.

We have no idea what she puts in her profile. Before we assume, maybe we should ask her...?
She puts her thoughts and passions right out there in her OP, so it was safe to assume those come across in her profile comments and answers to demographics at the OLD she uses.

Mod cut. I'm surrounded by people who would identify with this thinking and don't see anything frightening here.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 07-23-2019 at 06:03 PM.. Reason: Reference to post which has been deleted.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:52 AM
Status: "I believe in reincarnation" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
12,218 posts, read 4,658,174 times
Reputation: 23608
In my experience, if you are a financially successful woman, all you need to do is advertise your net worth and the men will come running.

I'm serious.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:54 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
81,070 posts, read 74,247,223 times
Reputation: 80824
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
In my experience, if you are a financially successful woman, all you need to do is advertise your net worth and the men will come running.

I'm serious.
Why would she want that kind of guy? Men don't usually want a woman who's only interested in their net worth. In fact, in OLD profiles, they tend not to disclose their income, even within a broad range. Dangling money in front of people isn't the best way to go about finding a partner for an LTR.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 10:58 AM
 
15,732 posts, read 8,477,092 times
Reputation: 28474
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I am 40, in great shape and full of energy, but it seems that men are not attracted to me. It’s been four years of no dates and no sex. I love to the travel, go to movies, festivals, outings, concerts, museums, and lots of fun stuff. I have a successful professional career, good health and I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements. I tried online dating at eharmony for six months but didn’t meet anyone. Actually zero conversations from it. Sometimes I think it’s gonna be like this forever. I mean not even a coffee date in 4 years is a long time. It seems like all men around have no interest in anything whatsoever. Actually it is very rare to even see single men going to the places and activities that I like, like hiking, the beach, festivals, etc.. I always read that men are attracted to confident, talented, independent women with their own life and interests, but, I don’t know, I am that woman and no guy seems to ever notice me anywhere.



You're unlikely to find unattached 40-something white collar professional men at the beach. I ski. That's a 40-something white collar professional sausage-fest. You'd have to filter carefully but there are lots of options in that kind of activity. Sailing is similar. If you don't sail, get involved with an adult sailing program at a yacht club and get involved in racing. Lots of 40-something unattached professional men looking for midweek after work race crew. Again, you have to filter carefully.


You won't have problems with environmental issues with white collar professional men but social justice warrior is unlikely to play well.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 11:23 AM
 
8,662 posts, read 7,462,497 times
Reputation: 9262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I am 40, in great shape and full of energy, but it seems that men are not attracted to me. It’s been four years of no dates and no sex. I love to the travel, go to movies, festivals, outings, concerts, museums, and lots of fun stuff. I have a successful professional career, good health and I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements. I tried online dating at eharmony for six months but didn’t meet anyone. Actually zero conversations from it. Sometimes I think it’s gonna be like this forever. I mean not even a coffee date in 4 years is a long time. It seems like all men around have no interest in anything whatsoever. Actually it is very rare to even see single men going to the places and activities that I like, like hiking, the beach, festivals, etc.. I always read that men are attracted to confident, talented, independent women with their own life and interests, but, I don’t know, I am that woman and no guy seems to ever notice me anywhere.
Twitter might be a better choice for you finding men than eharmony
 
Old 07-23-2019, 03:04 PM
 
Location: California
999 posts, read 313,077 times
Reputation: 2940
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Actually, that’s what I was thinking, believe it or not.
I’ve never read of a guy’s profile requesting: “passionate SJW interested in environmental issues.” This almost sounds like the instructions for ‘what to avoid’ found in a bro-blog out in the manosphere.
Women like OP and myself aren't looking to date "bros".

Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
The social justice comment is polarizing, sure, but not necessarily in a bad way. The OP seems to have disappeared, but if being politically engaged is important to her, then she doesn't want to date a man who has a problem with that.

I'm not certain about this, but maybe the best man for someone like the OP is a man who sees that in her profile and is more interested as a result.
Exactly. I wouldn't want a guy who was turned off by any of my beliefs anyway, so it's a good filter to have. And there are lots of passionate, liberal, SJW type men out there. Trust me, I see them all the time in my community because the field I'm in tends to lean very far left.

I also see solo men fairly often when I'm out hiking. It's not really an environment where you'd stop and talk to someone most of the time but I'm sure if you happened to meet at a campsite or something, a conversation could happen. Just keep an open mind and let things manifest naturally. You could meet someone anywhere. You really never know.

Also--take yoga classes. Everyone who does yoga is fine as hell, and I usually see solo men at the classes I've taken.
 
Old 07-23-2019, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,014 posts, read 6,415,286 times
Reputation: 7983
Mod cut.

I also agree joining mixed-gender clubs you're interested in is a great way to strike up natural conversations.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 07-23-2019 at 06:22 PM.. Reason: Orphaned and off-topic.
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