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Old Yesterday, 08:30 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,664 times
Reputation: 23

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Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
I agree whole heartedly. Of everything she said in her post this jumped out and if this post were a dating profile Iíd likely be curious because of the other interests but hesitant to contact over this.

OP this doesnít mean you canít be passionate about your social-political issues. But if there isnít a shared interest it canít be forced. And in this arena (social political issues) itís not like asking him to endure a ballgame or a chick flick. These issues tend to be downright vexing to people who donít share them as interests. If you canít find someone who shares those specific interests you may have to tone this part of your life down to focus on other areas where there are common interests.

But like you said, these issues can be forced into someone, also, I can't be forced out of them. Do I have to convert into someone else? or change everything I think? I would never force anyone to believe in the things I believe but I would never let anyone question my beliefs and try to change my inner self. If that is the case it simply means that is not the right person. A relationship must be that place where one can feel safe, honest and free.

 
Old Yesterday, 08:39 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,664 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
I agree.
Really? why? what is wrong with being independent and self-sufficient? I don't know, most women I know work, have careers and other interests. I surprised to find this narrative of submissive women all over the thread. Where do you find those women? I've never gad big issues with that
 
Old Yesterday, 08:43 PM
 
2,137 posts, read 1,701,374 times
Reputation: 2632
Don't hide or downplay your passion for reducing carbon footprint. If some idiot finds it offensive, then he was likely too stupid for you anyway.
 
Old Yesterday, 08:45 PM
 
8,105 posts, read 6,033,549 times
Reputation: 5752
Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Don't hide or downplay your passion for reducing carbon footprint. If some idiot finds it offensive, then he was likely too stupid for you anyway.
Yeah. Be who you are and you'll more likely attract someone that's right for you.
 
Old Yesterday, 08:45 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,760 posts, read 3,720,395 times
Reputation: 19908
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
Really? why? what is wrong with being independent and self-sufficient? I don't know, most women I know work, have careers and other interests. I surprised to find this narrative of submissive women all over the thread. Where do you find those women? I've never gad big issues with that
Nothing is wrong with being independent, but the OP says she is independent and this doesn't seem to help her get a relationship.
 
Old Yesterday, 08:47 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,664 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
The social justice comment is polarizing, sure, but not necessarily in a bad way. The OP seems to have disappeared, but if being politically engaged is important to her, then she doesn't want to date a man who has a problem with that.

I'm not certain about this, but maybe the best man for someone like the OP is a man who sees that in her profile and is more interested as a result.

Exactly you got it. I have a full time job so I was working and it is at nights that I might have some time to catch on e-mails and these chats (which are new for me and actually surprised with so many replies). The thing with eharmony was that they actually have a large questionnaire which may questions including many social and political questions, so I thought that if answered those and put in my profile a brief line that I'm interested in social movements, maybe that may work as a filter to only let in profiles that are compatible with that. But the thing is that most men don't answer the eharmony questionnaire so I don't know, basically the matches were done on the basis of age and location only I guess
 
Old Yesterday, 08:56 PM
 
28 posts, read 11,618 times
Reputation: 29
What do you mean “social movements”? Maybe try going to meetings and get involved with the group that is doing the “social movement” gig. Like minds thing.
 
Old Yesterday, 08:56 PM
Status: "Fill the days." (set 12 hours ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg/Virginia Beach, VA
10,714 posts, read 11,119,481 times
Reputation: 14133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
But like you said, these issues can be forced into someone, also, I can't be forced out of them. Do I have to convert into someone else? or change everything I think? I would never force anyone to believe in the things I believe but I would never let anyone question my beliefs and try to change my inner self. If that is the case it simply means that is not the right person. A relationship must be that place where one can feel safe, honest and free.
It has nothing to do with suppressing who you are and everything to do with compromise in starting and sustaining a relationship. In a relationship you canít always do everything with your partner. Itís not likely youíre going to share every single interest. For example my wife just isnít into camping. Weíve reached a point where if I want to pursue that interest I have to do it without her. Iím also a pretty big sports fan, but sheís a much more casual fan. She is not going to get into a game on the same level I am, and is just as likely to skip it outright and find something else to do.

Now, since I posted the post you quoted youíve shared some additional information about yourself. Most of us desire some qualities that are negotiable and others that are not so negotiable and in your case those items that I commented about happen to be more non-negotiable to you. And as a few others have mentioned they can (and will) serve as a good filter. If those are hard set requirements thatís fine, just remember the more hard set requirements you have the more you limit prospective men who may be interested. A little flexibility can go a long way, and you may find by being overly up front with some of those values you filter out prospects who would still be a good match even if not quite as passionate about a certain thing as you are.
 
Old Yesterday, 08:58 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,664 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton View Post
Yeah, I dont know about manosphere or man-blogs and whatnot, but I do believe that certain relationship dynamics are inherent in people. Personalities are very important and whenever people talk about confidence, there is always a fine line between that and arrogance/inflated ego.

I can say one thing with certainty - no man actually likes a b..tch. And I am not referring to the OP here at all, but its something thats worth to keep in mind in principle.
There is a mistake in mixing confidence with being a b***h. I know there are many arrogant people out there, men and women. In my experience usually arrogant people are not confident people at all. On the contrary, arrogance is a sign of weakness and insecurity. I have never being accused of being arrogant. On the contrary, in my job I am the person they mostly trust in my area. I am very open and available. I have also learned to be confident. I come from a humble family and it was through many personal and financial sacrifices that I had the opportunity to study a graduate degree, get a professional license and establish a professional career, where being confident is essential. That doesn't mean I feel I am better or that I am more than other people. By not means I have that mentality. On the contrary I am always available to help people if I can and I really enjoy to see everyone thrive.
 
Old Yesterday, 09:02 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,664 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad View Post
"I am passionate about the environment and social justice issues"...... Mod cut., i am going to take a shot in the dark here and say she is very opinionated on at least these topics (which would make me run) and probably more.

Also, she likes museums which is usually a red flag for me personally also. If she had said museums and wine tasings both, that would be another run for the hills with me. Lol.
Well to each their own. That's why I am completely straightforward.
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