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Exactly. I wouldn't want a guy who was turned off by any of my beliefs anyway, so it's a good filter to have. And there are lots of passionate, liberal, SJW type men out there. Trust me, I see them all the time in my community because the field I'm in tends to lean very far left.
It's interesting how many people have a knee-jerk reaction to the phrase "social justice" because of its use manosphere as a perjorative term to describe women who they feel are politially correct man-haters. In it's true form, social justice is equivalent to human rights and civil rights and has a long history of doing good in society.
I think it has more to do with the mindset of an individual. If I approach someone who has a certain mindset, that person is going to take it as harassment and may even act on it regardless of logic and definitions. This is not to say don't approach.
I suppose you might encounter someone slightly mad who accuses you of harassment when all it was was making conversation with a stranger. But I think you can sometimes tell who is open to being chatted with and who isn't. E.g. open body language, someone who is people watching and makes eye contact with others, someone who doesn't have earphones in.
But that is also true of women making conversations with strangers. I've been in public places and have made small talk with people (I travel solo a lot) and you always get the odd rude person or the one who gives you a dirty look for talking to them.
I'd also consider the fact that if a man dates women who are younger than he is, then there is an even bigger pay gap. Because women who are younger are in a different place in their career, than the older man is.
Yeah, anyone on the extreme, I would find them to be a turn off.
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I don't know. Several things can contribute. Mostly is the lack of men with similar educational background and interests. I have a graduate degree and have a career. I love to read and I have a very inquisitive mind. I like to watch certain type of movies (foreign, documentaries, art-cinema, etc..). And where I live there are not many people into that (men or women but definitely less men). For example in my university there were like 70% women. I am not into drinking or the bar scene so maybe that explains something. I am very liberal and I expect to be with someone who is also like that because otherwise it won't work.
Hope this doesn't come across as nitpicky, but just wanted to check you aren't browbeating potential dates with the issues you're passionate about e.g. on your dating profile. E.g. I briefly dated someone who was obsessed with their pet cause that I was not interested in and seemed to enjoy preaching & making others feel guilty for not being involved. That sort of energy can put people off straight away.
I don't think I am obsessed with anything, but it is worth to pretend to be someone else to get a date? I know where I stand and I have no problem expressing what I think. I am not lying or pretending. It has surprise in me in this thread that it is something like a shock to be someone interested in social justice and environmental movements. Actually I have had relationships with men who are like that too. I just don't believe opposites attract and I believe people in a relationship should have common views and and interests at least in things that are essential to their selves. I wonder, if they not how is it gonna work? What are they going to talk about?
I don't know. Several things can contribute. Mostly is the lack of men with similar educational background and interests. I have a graduate degree and have a career. I love to read and I have a very inquisitive mind. I like to watch certain type of movies (foreign, documentaries, art-cinema, etc..). And where I live there are not many people into that (men or women but definitely less men). For example in my university there were like 70% women. I am not into drinking or the bar scene so maybe that explains something. I am very liberal and I expect to be with someone who is also like that because otherwise it won't work.
So we are perfect for each other!
I recently moved to a more blue-collar area. Lots of nice men here, but at the end of the day, i'm finding very little in common with them. I really don't need someone at my side 24/7, but I feel like we ought to be able to discuss the news of the day with some of level of curiosity about the world.
I'm not a snob by any means. Lots of these guys remind me of my grandparents and their siblings who worked with their hands. They didn't go to college for the most part, but they read the dang newspaper and knew how the world worked.
If a guy tells me he is into fishing, hunting and football, I'm wishing there were one more thing after that that was something I was interested in.
I don't think I am obsessed with anything, but it is worth to pretend to be someone else to get a date? I know where I stand and I have no problem expressing what I think. I am not lying or pretending. It has surprise in me in this thread that it is something like a shock to be someone interested in social justice and environmental movements. Actually I have had relationships with men who are like that too. I just don't believe opposites attract and I believe people in a relationship should have common views and and interests at least in things that are essential to their selves. I wonder, if they not how is it gonna work? What are they going to talk about?
OP, you haven't told us yet, where you live. That could well be a factor in your lack of success. Although you say you've known men with your same or similar interests in the past, so it may just be a matter of time. Do you attend professional conferences in your field? That's one thing to try, since you're looking for a peer, more or less. You could also try different OLD sites.
We can't help you if we don't have more information about your circumstances.
Hope this doesn't come across as nitpicky, but just wanted to check you aren't browbeating potential dates with the issues you're passionate about e.g. on your dating profile. E.g. I briefly dated someone who was obsessed with their pet cause that I was not interested in and seemed to enjoy preaching & making others feel guilty for not being involved. That sort of energy can put people off straight away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native
What festivals?
Also in the current culture it’s more complicated than ever to approach for a man to approach a woman that he has no connection to. You can always express interest in a guy if you meet him (two way street).
Film festivals, art festivals, food festivals, music festivals, etc.. Why do you think is more complicated in the current time? I could do the approach if I find someone interesting and if there is a way of not being too forward
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