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Old 07-22-2019, 08:14 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,664 times
Reputation: 23

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I am 40, in great shape and full of energy, but it seems that men are not attracted to me. Itís been four years of no dates and no sex. I love to the travel, go to movies, festivals, outings, concerts, museums, and lots of fun stuff. I have a successful professional career, good health and I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements. I tried online dating at eharmony for six months but didnít meet anyone. Actually zero conversations from it. Sometimes I think itís gonna be like this forever. I mean not even a coffee date in 4 years is a long time. It seems like all men around have no interest in anything whatsoever. Actually it is very rare to even see single men going to the places and activities that I like, like hiking, the beach, festivals, etc.. I always read that men are attracted to confident, talented, independent women with their own life and interests, but, I donít know, I am that woman and no guy seems to ever notice me anywhere.

 
Old 07-22-2019, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,520 posts, read 42,049,720 times
Reputation: 83665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I am 40, in great shape and full of energy, but it seems that men are not attracted to me. Itís been four years of no dates and no sex. I love to the travel, go to movies, festivals, outings, concerts, museums, and lots of fun stuff. I have a successful professional career, good health and I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements. I tried online dating at eharmony for six months but didnít meet anyone. Actually zero conversations from it. Sometimes I think itís gonna be like this forever. I mean not even a coffee date in 4 years is a long time. It seems like all men around have no interest in anything whatsoever. Actually it is very rare to even see single men going to the places and activities that I like, like hiking, the beach, festivals, etc.. I always read that men are attracted to confident, talented, independent women with their own life and interests, but, I donít know, I am that woman and no guy seems to ever notice me anywhere.
Sorry to hear that.

What do you think is the reason? Really?
 
Old 07-22-2019, 08:19 PM
 
165 posts, read 21,538 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I am 40, in great shape and full of energy, but it seems that men are not attracted to me. It’s been four years of no dates and no sex. I love to the travel, go to movies, festivals, outings, concerts, museums, and lots of fun stuff. I have a successful professional career, good health and I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements. I tried online dating at eharmony for six months but didn’t meet anyone. Actually zero conversations from it. Sometimes I think it’s gonna be like this forever. I mean not even a coffee date in 4 years is a long time. It seems like all men around have no interest in anything whatsoever. Actually it is very rare to even see single men going to the places and activities that I like, like hiking, the beach, festivals, etc.. I always read that men are attracted to confident, talented, independent women with their own life and interests, but, I don’t know, I am that woman and no guy seems to ever notice me anywhere.
Your post sounds hard to believe. It really does. You sound very attractive. I don't get it either.
 
Old 07-22-2019, 08:22 PM
 
192 posts, read 36,589 times
Reputation: 368
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements.
Hope this doesn't come across as nitpicky, but just wanted to check you aren't browbeating potential dates with the issues you're passionate about e.g. on your dating profile. E.g. I briefly dated someone who was obsessed with their pet cause that I was not interested in and seemed to enjoy preaching & making others feel guilty for not being involved. That sort of energy can put people off straight away.
 
Old 07-22-2019, 08:50 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,670 posts, read 4,905,319 times
Reputation: 12605
Do you have any friends you could talk to about this issue? They could tell you whats wrong better than we can.
 
Old 07-22-2019, 08:52 PM
 
5,238 posts, read 2,794,613 times
Reputation: 9623
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I am 40, in great shape and full of energy, but it seems that men are not attracted to me. Itís been four years of no dates and no sex. I love to the travel, go to movies, festivals, outings, concerts, museums, and lots of fun stuff. I have a successful professional career, good health and I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements. I tried online dating at eharmony for six months but didnít meet anyone. Actually zero conversations from it. Sometimes I think itís gonna be like this forever. I mean not even a coffee date in 4 years is a long time. It seems like all men around have no interest in anything whatsoever. Actually it is very rare to even see single men going to the places and activities that I like, like hiking, the beach, festivals, etc.. I always read that men are attracted to confident, talented, independent women with their own life and interests, but, I donít know, I am that woman and no guy seems to ever notice me anywhere.
What festivals?

Also in the current culture itís more complicated than ever to approach for a man to approach a woman that he has no connection to. You can always express interest in a guy if you meet him (two way street).
 
Old 07-22-2019, 09:01 PM
 
364 posts, read 90,363 times
Reputation: 722
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I am 40, in great shape and full of energy, but it seems that men are not attracted to me. It’s been four years of no dates and no sex. I love to the travel, go to movies, festivals, outings, concerts, museums, and lots of fun stuff. I have a successful professional career, good health and I am very passionate about many issues like the environment and social justice movements. I tried online dating at eharmony for six months but didn’t meet anyone. Actually zero conversations from it. Sometimes I think it’s gonna be like this forever. I mean not even a coffee date in 4 years is a long time. It seems like all men around have no interest in anything whatsoever. Actually it is very rare to even see single men going to the places and activities that I like, like hiking, the beach, festivals, etc.. I always read that men are attracted to confident, talented, independent women with their own life and interests, but, I don’t know, I am that woman and no guy seems to ever notice me anywhere.

There's your reason. Just do three things.

1 Continue to stay in shape and look your best.

2 Then hang around where single men are. Not usually the places you mentioned.

3 Be approachable. Wherever your are, don't be on your phone and looking occupied. Look around, make eye contact, smile and look away.



I think best place to meet people is in a group activity doing something you really want to do, or want to learn. Could be a study class, workshop, gym, etc. It's something you really enjoy and have real interest in. That's why you are there. You are not looking for dates. You are looking to meet people and share an activity. Looking for men to date online is time consuming and frustrating because you are not doing an activity you love. Do an activity you love (in a group), and then meet people there doing the same.
 
Old 07-22-2019, 10:25 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 22 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,760 posts, read 3,720,395 times
Reputation: 19908
I would look for dating services that are specifically geared towards people over 40. Also consider joining a book club or meetup group through yahoo.
 
Old Yesterday, 04:35 AM
 
Location: A safe distance from San Francisco
8,599 posts, read 6,169,772 times
Reputation: 8585
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Hope this doesn't come across as nitpicky, but just wanted to check you aren't browbeating potential dates with the issues you're passionate about e.g. on your dating profile. E.g. I briefly dated someone who was obsessed with their pet cause that I was not interested in and seemed to enjoy preaching & making others feel guilty for not being involved. That sort of energy can put people off straight away.
Bingo.

This is what pops out at me from the message and is not nitpicky at all. I personally would run from SJW and "climate change" passion.
 
Old Yesterday, 05:04 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,873 posts, read 4,983,050 times
Reputation: 17395
OP: Perhaps you have a blind spot, i.e. you see yourself differently from how you are seen by others. Look here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window

Perhaps you could learn more about yourself by seeking help from a professional psychologist.
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